Must love Jon Stewart.
Must love Jon Stewart.

The Heights-Montrose-Museum District Council Seat: A Checklist for Potential Candidates

The proposed new map of city council districts includes one carved out of the Heights, Montrose and the Museum District, uniting the richest, hippest, proud to be Inner Looper bunch of white people possible.

If you're planning to run for the seat, here are some things you need to know:

Must drive Volvo or Prius And there better be a slightly worn bumper sticker on it supporting gay pride, fighting the Ashby high-rise or protesting Walmart. And Obama, of course.

Type of whiteness required Wrong: The Lee Greenwood-loving, Sean-Hannity-makes-sense, Jay-Leno-is-funny type Right: The Beyoncé-liking, Bill-Maher-makes-sense (but can go overboard), Jon-Stewart-is-funny type

Acceptable places to be seen dining at El Real, Da Marco, Ruggles, Block 7 or Antidote

Position on new development Only in favor of new development that "enhances" the "unique" aspects of the relevant neighborhood and "preserves" what we all love about it. Turns out, of course, that once in office just about any proposed development fits that category unless there's a real firestorm of protest.

Degree of disagreement with Annise Parker on issues? Close to nil. (Exceptions: "Firestorm of protest" proposed developments, and even then disagreement will only be half-hearted.)

Feel free to add other requirements in the comments.


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