We were really excited when condemned killer Patrick Knight announcedhis campaign
to find a great joke to tell before he gets the needle tonight. And we were equally bummed when he rejected the list we sent in, which was chock-full of knee-slappin’ knock-knocks, puns, and a classic about a one-legged stripper. We were especially surprised that he rejected our death-row-specific jokes, since they adhered to a cardinal comedic principle: know your audience. Among the rejectees (answers at the bottom):
1.) What do you get when you cross an incompetent staff of police crime lab technicians working on capital cases with a corrupt staff of police crime lab technicians working on capital cases?
2.) What do you get when a policeman trips over hundreds of boxes of missing crime-scene evidence from 20 years’ worth of cases, including capital crimes?
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
3.) What do you get when the district prosecutors’ handbook states: “Do not take Jews, Negroes, Dagos, Mexicans or members of any minority race on a jury, no matter how rich or well-educated”?
4.) What does it mean when 13 prisoners from one jurisdiction were exonerated in a six-year period when DNA testing showed they did not commit the crimes they were sentenced for?
Answers: 1.) Probably innocent dudes on death row; 2.) Probably innocent dudes on death row; 3.) Probably innocent dudes on death row; 4.) Probably innocent dudes on death row.