The Lottery Is A Tax On Idiots, Except For These Very, Very Smart People

State-run lotteries, as many have pointed out, are pretty much a tax on the mathematically impaired. You pays your money, you takes your (infinitesimal) chances at winning big.

Unless you're a phone technician from Katy, in which case you won a $144 million jackpot over the weekend.

The owner of the ticket hasn't come forward yet to claim the prize, but employees at the store that sold the ticket know who he is.

And since the store quickly became known, the idiots descended.

As the Houston Chronicle reports:

Eric Knobloch was hoping for a little residual luck when he bought a $50 scratch-off and some lottery tickets at the Short Stop Market in Katy Saturday afternoon.

After all, the store sold a lucky $144 million Mega Millions winner in Friday's drawing to one of its regular customers.

"I'm hoping that maybe lightning will strike twice," said Knobloch, 45, who came into the store with his wife.

Yes, Eric. That's why there's an ancient saying about lightning striking twice. Because it happens all the time.

Another person drove 30 miles to buy a ticket at the store. Why? (We mean, besides the obvious answer that the person has little concept of odds or chance.)

"'I just wanted to go to the store and be in that ambiance,' said [Terri] Stout, who has been buying Lotto tickets for about a decade."

Ah -- that last phrase explains a lot.

The winner was described by employeews as a regular customer who was a "simple," "Christian man."

Some church out there has a new BFF.


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >