The Mack Brown Deathwatch: It's Time for Our Highly Scientific Graphic Tracking the Longhorn Coach's Chances of Survival
For many, many, many of us, it is highly enjoyable to see a Longhorn skulk out of the Cotton Bowl after another amazingly embarrassing defeat at the cackling hands of hated archrival Oklahoma.
It's something the Longhorns have been getting used to, seeing as how it seems to happen with regularity under the reign of head coach Mack Brown.
Brown is the guy who rode to a BCS title a QB perfectly fitted for the college game, took another one far along the same route, and besides that has basically underperformed considering he gets to pick and choose from the astounding collection of high school football talent the state of Texas offers.
Incredible as it may seem, some UT natives have been getting restless with this level of performance. Calls for Brown's head -- mostly in the form of making him "Director of Alumni Development," or some sort of cushy sinecure -- have been rising.
And that means it's time to chart these things with the official Mack Brown Deathwatch, a highly scientific device that takes all relevant matters into account and determines Brown's status in Austin.
Don't fret, Mack fans -- we did one for Houston Texans head coach Gary Kubiak when the team was in the middle of one of its standard swoons, and it got him a contract extension.
Mack haters, we guess that means we're sorry. Enjoy Dallas in the coming years, and as always enjoy February when you're annually anointed as having the best recruiting class of the year.
So what, according to the Deathwatch, is Brown's current status?
Here it is. Let science reign through ultra-sophisticated space-age technology and design!!:
Baylor, you're on the clock. Updates to come.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Astros Take Royals, Announcers by Surprise with Game One Win
Mon., Oct. 19, 7:00pm
Wed., Oct. 21, 7:00pm
Sat., Oct. 24, 12:00am
Sat., Oct. 24, 11:00am
- Why Are Neighbors Angry That the Glenbrook Golf Course is Becoming a Botanical Garden?
- Cougars Destroy SMU, Storm Out To 5-0 Record