The Saddest, Dumbest Robbers
A pair of criminal masterminds recently executed a daring daylight robbery -- of a 99-cent store.
Police are on the lookout for two black males carrying old Alf lunchboxes, soon-to-expire cans of pseudo-tuna, plastic spatulas, wads of crumbled dollar bills and boxes of detergent that looks like a name brand if you don't check it too closely.
Seriously, dudes, if the name of your targeted store is "Nothing Over 99 Cents," then your plan probably needs a little rethinking.
Compounding the brilliance, the two guys had apparently cased out the store that day before robbing it -- and wore "distinctive" footwear both times, making them easily identifiable.
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. St. Thomas University Men's Basketball
TicketsWed., Dec. 21, 7:00pm
Advocare V100 Texas Bowl
TicketsWed., Dec. 28, 8:00pm
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Middle Tennessee State Univ Blue Raiders Mens Basketball
TicketsThu., Jan. 5, 7:00pm
PRCA XTreme Bulls
TicketsFri., Jan. 6, 7:30pm
They no doubt intended to leave business cards with their name and address, but hadn't picked them up yet from the Print-While-U-Wait store, which they also intended to then rob.
Call Crime Stoppers with any tips. Like, say, if the guy in the apartment next door is suddenly feasting on tins of plankton.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.