Houstonians who listen to 1560 The Game occasionally get to hear the most epic pest-control commercial of all time.
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Words hardly do it justice; it must be experienced to achieve full appreciation.
Speaking over a bouncy tune, a twangy voice informs us: "My name is Scott McGrath. The day before my eighth birthday I fell into a bed of fire ants and suffered significant wounds...Since that day I have made a solemn vow to kill every insect on Planet Earth. I hate them with the passion of a religious zealot."
It gets better from there.