The Situation: Seven Stupid Things He (Or A Very Good Imposter) Said On His Flight To Houston
The Situation is in town!! He's here for a show, but you probably already knew that. Hey, hey -- that's not an insult. We're not saying you're the kind of person who follows The Situation's career or anything. Just that you're a dedicated Rocks Off reader.
(Note: That Rocks Off item indicates the show was Saturday, but it must have been changed somewhere along the way.)
The erstwhile Mike Sorrentino was on a flight from Newark to Bush yesterday evening; he got bumped from first class and ended up sitting in coach right behind a friend of ours. He reports The Situation was very nice, friendly, and chatty with everyone. (Our Craig Hlavaty reports The Situation was at Rich's Saturday night, though so he must be one commutin' fool.)
Seven utterly The Situation things our friend overheard, without really trying:
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 3PM-8PM
TicketsSat., Apr. 1, 3:00pm
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-6PM
TicketsSun., Apr. 2, 10:00am
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-3PM
TicketsMon., Apr. 3, 10:00am
Rice Owls Men's Baseball vs. Louisiana Tech Bulldogs Men's Baseball
TicketsFri., Apr. 7, 6:30pm
1) "You don't seem like the GTL type to me is all." In case you're not up on your lingo, "GTL" stands for "Guido-loving Total Loser." Or maybe "Gym, Tan, Laundry." Take your pick.
2) "I do want to settle down some day, I mean, but if a girl don't cook, what's the point. It's definitely a lost art." Marriage: He's only in it for the food. Better brush up on your Sopranos Family Cookbook, gals.
3) "I am not a rapper by any means but Taylor Swift is pretty hot so I gotta collaborate wit her." Taylor Swift, OG.
4) "Yeah, I put it in the contract I only want red M&Ms. (laughs) That's called a rider, yo." The Situation, savvy show-biz negotiator.
5) "You use Twitter? Twitter is getting huge, man." And there's this thing called the iPhone that is going to be really big, trust me.....
6) "Yo, I just want to let you know I was in the middle seat up there, but it was too tiny so I saw this seat and I just transformed myself to here." We don't think "transformed" means what you think it means.
7) "Do you want to watch The Day After Tomorrow with me?" Who could resist a come-on like that? You had us at The Day After Tomorrow. At least until the tidal wave hits Manhattan, then it gets kinda boring.
Other snippets of news: The Situation believes there will be four more seasons of Jersey Shore, two a year for the next two years. He plans to do them, barring -- we guess -- some other exciting thing happening in his career.
Also, he's getting a Bentley for his Fourth of July birthday.
Note: our pal took a picture on the plane that's fuzzy but definitely looks like The Situation to us....
But maybe it was one of those impostors trying to get tail? The world wonders.
"Looks like him, same nose," our friend says. "The whole thing felt a bit like an act, so maybe it was some impostor. That'd be impressive in its own right."
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