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The Six Dumbest NASA Covers Time Magazine Ever Put Out

Not Time, but the most dramatic juice-box photo EVER.
Not Time, but the most dramatic juice-box photo EVER.

Yesterday we wrote about how Houston and Russia are getting together to honor Yuri Gagarin and John Glenn (we listed five awesome Gagarin paintings Houston should have received in place of the artwork it did end up with), and that stirred up a bit of NASA nostalgia.

Face it, the space program has been out of sight, out of mind since the shuttle stopped flying, especially when you throw in the bitter lagniappe of NASA not giving Houston one of the space-flown shuttles to display.

See Also: - "Tatooine" Discovery: Five Other Times NASA Has Drafted Off Star Wars' Heat - The Five Astronaut Autobiographies Everyone Should Read - Apollo 15, 40 Years On: Five Odd Facts (Including Faulty Peeing, a Very Irked NASA & the Coolest Lunar Experiment

So we went on the net for a space fix, ended up checking out Time magazine astronaut covers and eventually found ourselves asking, "What the hell's going on?"

If these covers were meant to draw in readers, let's just say we're surprised it took so long for the print industry to struggle.

Six we found:

The Six Dumbest NASA Covers Time Magazine Ever Put Out

6. "I'll be back" We're not sure if this is one of our brave discoverers exploring a new world or if it' s The Terminator vowing to be back and take out anyone who messes with his plans for moon domination.

Just to be safe, we're backing up with our arms in the air.

The Six Dumbest NASA Covers Time Magazine Ever Put Out

5. Heerrreee's Johnny!!! (The Shining style) Nothing like a gigantic humanoid hiding behind the planet you thought was so safe, suddenly staring out with a suspiciously endearing smile as if to assure you there's nothing at all to worry about.

The Six Dumbest NASA Covers Time Magazine Ever Put Out

4. "Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move" Floating aimlessly, slowly in a shot that no doubt lasts for minutes, this is not so much a Time cover as it is something from the cutting-room floor when they were editing Dave and HAL's scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

 

The Six Dumbest NASA Covers Time Magazine Ever Put Out

3. Disco Robot!! Who knew the moon would be populated by cheap-looking robots doing "Rapper's Delight"? Time magazine, that's who.

The Six Dumbest NASA Covers Time Magazine Ever Put Out

2. Yeah, what the hell, surround it with blue A unique version of what the moon looks like in space. A unique version likely developed very late on deadline night.

The Six Dumbest NASA Covers Time Magazine Ever Put Out

1. Gordon Cooper: Astronaut, Daredevil and....Clock? Send in the coupon and proof of purchase and Time will send you the minute- and hour-hands that will complete this baby and make you the envy of your NASA-lovin' pals!

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