The State Bar Says "No" To Sex With Clients, We Reply With A List Of Sleazy Movie Lawyers
Anyone who's ever sat in front of television long enough knows that lawyers are better than regular people. They have nicer suits, drive cooler cars, and have awesomer sex -- sometimes with each other, sometimes with clients. But apparently that last one can be a bad thing, which is why the State Bar is considering amending the Texas Disciplinary Rules of Proposed Conduct to expressly prohibit "a lawyer from making sex a condition of representing a client and from soliciting or accepting sexual relations as payment of fees," according to Texas Lawyer.
But a group of female attorneys say the proposed amendment doesn't go far enough. "In an Aug. 17 e-mail, the women contend that the proposed new rule 'will neither protect clients, nor will it protect our profession in the eyes of the public,'" according to the story. The women believe the proposed amendment would only bar lawyers from sex-for-pay with clients they work directly with, and does not address the idea of a client being transferred among lawyers in the same firm. (We were shocked -- shocked! -- that a group of attorneys has already found a loophole).
Besides hot lawyer sex, the whole thing got us thinking about the best sleazebag lawyers in movies. Here then, without prejudice, are our top five:
Dave Kleinfeld (Sean Penn), Carlito's Way
Decked out in a magnificent Jewfro, Sean Penn spurned subtlety to give audiences a wonderfully paranoid, coke-addicted, backstabbing shyster who isn't above committing a murder or two. His comeuppance, shown here, is a tad gratuitous. Unless you've ever been on the wrong side of the Texas Hammer, that is.
Jonathan Fuerst (Jack Nicholson), Carnal Knowledge Juxtaposed with his college roommate (played by Art Garfunkel), Jonathan is a bastard. Intelligent, sure, but a repellent, misogynistic human being just the same. Oh, and did we mention he's a tax lawyer?
Ned Racine (William Hurt), Body Heat
Racine's really the whole package: incompetent, dumb, drunk, and easily manipulated. Sure, we'd probably break a window or two to get into Matty Walker's underpants, but killing her husband? Doesn't this guy watch any movies?
Lionel Hutz (Phil Hartman), The Simpsons
"Not sleazy," you say? "Not in the movies," you say? Perhaps you can look past that 9:30 AM belt of scotch, or his ignorance of legal terminology, or his Miguel Sanchez alias...but give the guy credit for working against peace and harmony for all mankind.
John Milton (Al Pacino), The Devil's Advocate
Did I say Ned Racine was the complete package? Milton makes the guy look like the venal pretender he is. And why not? He is, after all, freaking Satan.
Legal movie clip assistance provided by Pete Vonder Haar
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.