The Weinermobile, Hassled By The Man In Houston
Who in their right mind would ever hassle the Weinermobile, the beloved symbol of all that is good and nutritious in Oscar Mayer hot dogs?
The Houston police, that's who.
We were traveling on I-45 south of downtown Friday night when we glanced to the side of the road. There, amid the frenzied blinking of HPD patrol-car lights, was the Weinermobile.
We will admit that we didn't see any cops with their pistols drawn, ordering hapless Oscar Mayer employees to explain themselves while lying face-down on the gravel, but that may be simply because we had a bad angle.
We were picking someone up at the airport and running late, so we couldn't stop to find out just what heinous crime the Weinermobile had been caught doing. Selling crack instead of almost-healthy processed meat products? Tearing up the Gulf Freeway at 95 mph, weaving in and out of lanes while giving the finger to panicked drivers and yelling "I AM DRIVING THE FUCKING WEINERMOBILE, LOSERS!!!!! GET OUT OF MY WAY, VEGANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As it turns out, it was neither of those scenarios.
Houston police had stopped the Weinermobile, an Oscar Mayer spokesman tells Hair Balls, for a much less dramatic reason.
"The police pulled over the vehicle as they said they could not see the state in which the license place[sic] was registered," Syd Lindner says. "Once pulled over they could easily read the plate. No ticket was issued."
Yeah, right -- they couldn't read the plate. Apparently the folks at Oscar Mayer didn't get the message: Don't let the sun set on your Weinermobile in Houston. We're a Ball Park Frank kinda town.