Theresa Roemer Selling Mansion With Infamous "She-Cave"

If these walls could talk......they'd probably say a lot of stupid stuff.
If these walls could talk......they'd probably say a lot of stupid stuff.
Screenshot from HAR.com

If you have an extra $12.9 million and a penchant for gaudy things, you're in luck: Theresa Roemer, she of the $500,000 burgled closet, is selling her 17,315-square-foot Woodlands Xanadu.

John Lomax at Swamplot has some nifty interior pics of the 20-odd-room estate, which sorta looks like what you'd get if a Brookstone catalog fucked a Lamborghini.

Roemer told the Chron with characteristic humility, "It's just a beautiful home; it's my best work yet. This is our third home in Carlton Woods; I just love making things beautiful."

The socialite also told the Chron that the sale has nothing to do with the August theft of the home's three-story "closet" that was fawned over by media worldwide.

See also: Caller Claims to Be Burglar of Theresa Roemer's Closet, Sends Us a Bunch of Jewelry, Wisp of Hair

"This house was never meant to be a house that we would live in together," Roemer told the Chron. "It was always meant to be a house to flip. I want to build another one and build a bigger closet."

This just bolsters our theory that Roemer is actually an Andy Kaufman-esque performance artist pulling off a tremendous hoax, because real people do not do the things she does or say the things she says. It just doesn't happen.


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