This Might Be the Greatest Craigslist Ad Ever Written
You ever read a Craigslist ad that was too good to be true? Then you saw the product being hawked, right there in your face, and come to find out the real thing was less than advertised. Doesn't that just piss you off?
Well, we were hipped to one Craigslist poster who's selling a nifty, silver SUV. What grabbed us about the post was that it read like part stand-up routine, part Pimp C rap lyric. In fact, the best thing about it was that besides being funny, the ad didn't hide the vehicle's faults.
"I'm just naturally hilarious," said Lara Wright who wrote the post. She's sold plenty of items on Craigslist (even gave away some kittens), but never went with the tongue-in-cheek approach. "It's not a BMW or anything," she said. She was upfront about her SUV's 210,000 miles and faulty transmission.
Since we're pretty she's going to sell her vehicle before the close of the week, we wanted to share (with her permission) the full text of this diamond of a Craigslist ad.
"you need a car u say? shit, i got that bad boy right here! does it run? hell yes! like shit through a goose! this war wagon has some awesome silver inspired paint that will attract all the hotties! male, female, don't matter, you gonna get wall to wall booty when you pimp this bad-boy down the avenue!
So whats good about that hell beast? SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!! whats not good, son! Its got some comfortable ass seats, because i been sitting in them for like, EVER! so they are already butt dip shaped! 4 wheels on this mug! you buy the truck, you get the air in the tires for F-R-E-E! Do people like these trucks? you know it! it got some bitchin stickers all up on the back of it!
SO you know its a badass truck! the things got 210,000 miles on it! trucks dont get that many miles unless you take GOOD ASS CARE OF THEM!
So here's the skinny on the bad! the tranny slips! but by slips, i mean, it still runs! i drove that thing from baytown to montrose DAILY! for like 8 months! i just moved to the trose so i could save them gas BUX! i got a smaller car w 4 cylinders of dopeness! i don't need this monster anymore! oh, its 4wd btw! so you can like drive over mountains and shit! its a 6 cylinder engine w/ 4.0 liters of FIRE BREATHING DEVIL ASS STANK POWER!
dont be lame! bring me that uncle sam cash and put some wheels up under your sexy self! ax for LARA!"
To our surprise the 27-year-old Texan doesn't worry about Craigslist horror stories and sells stuff regularly, but there are a few precautions she takes. Call it her Craigslist rules:
- Always meet in a public space.
- Tell your friends you're going to meet someone from Craigslist.
- Never let somebody from Craigslist come to your house.
She had a couple of potential buyers lined up on Wednesday night, and a few email inquiries. Let's see what happens.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Astro Fans, This Person Is The Reason There's A Game 5 Wednesday Night
Sat., Oct. 24, 12:00am
Sat., Oct. 24, 11:00am
Sun., Oct. 25, 12:00am
Mon., Oct. 26, 12:00am
- Should School District Cops Be Allowed to Choke Students?
- Texas Suing VW is Such Adorable Hypocrisy