This Weekend's Best Bets: Brooke Hogan's Engagement to Dallas Cowboy Crumbles
If there has been one subtle development in the world of wagering that has been a true godsend (because God doesn't have enough on his plate, He must send things to degenerate gamblers), it's been the addition of non-sports wagers to the various betting windows (actual and online) around the world.
No longer is it just football, basketball, baseball and such that we can get down on. Now we can throw down our hard-earned dollar on things like lottery results, opening weekend box office revenue for movies, and reality television shows like The Voice.
Logically, the next step in all of this is the ability to wager on the length of celebrity engagements or marriages. This has to happen.
Which brings me to Brooke Hogan.
Brooke Hogan is best known for a couple of things:
1. She is the daughter of professional wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, and is so tied to him from an image standpoint that she publicly goes by her father's phony stage surname "Hogan." I guess I can't blame her for that, as it would be very hard to land Tier D record deals going by Brooke Bollea (Hogan's real surname), although Brooke Bollea is a decent porn name, which is a segue into my next bullet point...
2. ...not only is Brooke tied to her father from a marketing and business endeavor standpoint (she appeared regularly on the TNA wrestling television show with her dad), but it goes a very, very creepy step further -- go Google "hulk hogan brooke lotion." Go ahead...do it....okay, you back? Sufficiently creeped out? Yeah, Hulk Hogan and his daughter seem a little too close. And it doesn't help my stomach that Brooke is a damn near carbon copy of her mother, Linda, who Papa Hogan divorced a few years ago, right around the time the "lotion pics" surfaced. It's almost like Hulkster was trading in for a newer model of his then current wife. Only it was his daughter. Way past weird...brother.
3. Final add on Brooke: If a Hollywood diva type like her was going to be engaged to someone in the world of sports (other than her dad), it would probably be a Dallas Cowboy, so it's appropriate that in June, Brooke Hogan became engaged to Dallas Cowboys center Phil Costa. Let's face it, Brooke Hogan is kind of the Phil Costa of Hollywood -- fairly insignificant and with a low center of gravity.
Bringing this all back around to my original point on "relationship wagering," yesterday TMZ.com reported that Costa and Hogan were breaking off their engagement. (Cue Hulk Hogan doing a creepy Snoopy dance in front of his computer reading that news.)
If I could have gotten some action on the engagement of the privileged, plastic daughter of a celebrity (whose daddy issues probably need their own chapter in a parenting manual) to a nondescript Dallas Cowboy lineman fizzling before the year ended, dammit, I'd be out of this hole I've dug for all of us betting on, y'know, actual sports this season.
Come on, Vegas. Let's get these marriage props going, at least before Miley Cyrus gets engaged!
All right, I was 2-3-1 last week, another small backward step. My goal now is to get back to even by Christmas, and to do that I'll need at least one 6-0 week. Why not this week?!?
(Don't answer that.)
Let's do this...
Cowboys +2 1/2 over GIANTS On the surface, this appears to be Vegas begging all of us to take the Giants, who have won four in a row after an 0-6 start, and will be at home in what promises to be cold weather (I think every city in the United States is dropping 30 degrees this weekend) against a Dallas defense that has given up over 600 yards in two of its last three games (over 500 yards in four of its last seven games). And I read that sentence and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but (taking a shot of whiskey)...I won't let you bait me, VEGAS!! The underdog has covered 71 percent of Dallas games (41-17 ATS) over the last four seasons, and teams coming off 30+ point losses before a bye are 15-4 ATS coming back from the break. This week, Phil Costa got rid of Brooke Hogan, and we are going to ride Phil Costa's good fortune!
PATRIOTS +2 1/2 over Broncos Another game where I think the public is going to be all over the favorite, especially considering the most recent impression of each team is a nationally televised game in which the Broncos won and covered against undefeated Kansas City and the Patriots lost on the road to the Panthers. Did you know the Patriots haven't been a home underdog since 2005? Did you know that this is the first time the Pats have been dogs back to back weeks since 2006? Did you know the Pats are 15-2 ATS as an underdog following a loss? Well, now you know.
49ers -6 over REDSKINS The gambling metrics line up for the 49ers on this one, in that the Niners are one of the best Monday Night teams in the league historically (37-12 ATS), and that's well and good. I just happen to think the Redskins are a team that is circling the drain and the Niners feel a lot more like a strong 7-4 team than a 6-5 team losing to a bickering Redskins squad. Just trying to use common sense here.
Oklahoma/KANSAS STATE UNDER 53 1/2 I think both teams in this game are going to try to run the ball (due in some part to the fact that both suck at throwing the ball), so we will see the clock tick. In Big 12 play, both of these teams have out-rushed all of their opponents except Texas (and Oklahoma was out rushed -- and out everything-ed -- by Baylor). Oklahoma should come in with some degree of revenge on their mind, which means the game should be close. There isn't much I like on the board this week, but I do like this one.
Texas A&M +5 over LSU Okay, I know that I spent the first several hundred words of this piece begging the gambling overlords to bring more "real-life" events into wagering; however, I will admit that when actual real-life events in the category of the Jameis Winston sexual assault case move wagering odds in sports, it feels a little creepy. But it is a fact of life. Before the sexual assault case on the FSU quarterback was reopened, he was a prohibitive Heisman favorite at -500. Since that news went public, his odds have dropped to around -275, still a favorite, but a weaker one. The biggest beneficiary has been the reigning Heisman winner, Johnny Manziel, who went from +400 to +250. It's reasonable to think that with two big road games to close out the season against marquee teams (LSU this week, Missouri next week), Manziel could become the first two-time Heisman winner since Archie Griffin in 1974 and 1975. Then he can go close out his career with a win in the Sugar Bowl, and then get his ass to Houston to bail out our NFL team.
Oh, and while we're at it....
Texas A&M/LSU over 72 These two defenses suck. Take the over, too.
Last week: 2-3-1 Season record: 27-43-2
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
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