Tina Marie Arie's Hummer Heard Round the World
Denmark weighs in.
We report, the world reacts.
That's pretty much what has happened in the days since we helped the Montgomery County Police Reporter break the story of Howard Keith Windham and Tina Marie Arie and the cop-car hummer heard 'round the world.
Here's a portion of what people on three continents are saying about the pair, brought to you via the magic of Google Translate:
We like the exoticism of the Hungarians: "Összebilincselt hands did not prevent Windhamet Howard Keith and Tina Marie Arie was that of a police car while they are transported to the station, quickly sucking bonyolódjanak."
Is that Hungarian for badonkadonk? (If so, they lost something in the translation.)
A California-based Spanish-language paper headlined the story: Crimen pasional: sexo en un carro de la policía.
The officer noticed that something strange was happening in the back seat when he saw in the mirror Tina's head on the lap of Windham. She said she was tired, but the officer realized what was happening and ordered them to immediately terminate your pleasant activity.
Yep, I'll bet that's pretty much exactly the way that Montgomery County Constable put it. "Ma'am, I'm gonna have to request that you immediately terminate that-there pleasant activity."
The Danes salute the "energetic Tina Marie" and say that she "was no more 'tired' than she could show a little magic. 'Windham jeans were open "and" Arie was about to serve his genitals', as it says in the police report."
Wow, never knew there was cannibalism involved...
"She was slumped on the lap of his neighbor, but not for fatigue. Windham had his pants undone, she was beside him on his genitals with his face to the wind," waxed the poetic Italians at Blitz Quotidiano.
The Dutch reaction, bluntly headlined "Woman Sucks in Police Car": "On the way to the prison knew the 44-year-old Tina Marie Arie pants of the 30-year-old Howard Keith Windham pry him a good dose of oral pampering it."
The Chinese termed the cop-car blow-job "a bold act of arrogance." A second Chinese source changed Tina Marie Arie's name to "Yali" and Windham to "the Wind" and then got really weird on top of that:
Police found only after the mirror in the Wind, Yali was gone, he quickly stopped the car to view the original Yali bent body, head buried in the temperature Germany Kuajian, is to concentrate on the oral sex for the Wind.
Even hawter talk!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Chron Endorses a Homophobe for the HISD School Board, Again
- Ratings Wars: 5 Reasons the Texans Will Outpace the Astros on TV Thursday Night
- Colts-Texans, Week 5 — Four Things to Watch For