Today's Children's-Hour Story: The Hungry, Hungry Bank Robber
Today's bank robber is bold, aggressive....and hungry.
Not only hungry for food, but hungry for a need to be understood by his victims.
About 10:30 this morning, the FBI says, a pair of robbers entered a bank at 12514 Tomball Parkway. One pulled out a shotgun; the other, the FBI said, while "the other told tellers a sob story."
Hey, FBI!! No editorializing!!!
As the agency describes it:
One of the men pulled out a shotgun, and forced a customer and a bank employee to the ground. He stood guard over the bank while the other man approached the tellers and pulled out his handgun. While pointing his pistol at the tellers, he demanded cash, and then proclaimed "I'm only doing this to eat. They're not letting me work!"
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Irony: He was trying to work for Bank Robbers R Us, a new company on the west side.
We're not sure about that last part, but we are sure, because the FBI says so:
The robbers were last seen getting into to a tan, gray or silver 4-door Chrysler model sedan with custom rims.
The robber who was armed with the handgun is described as a black male in his thirties, approximately 5'6"- 5'8"tall with a medium build. He wore a fake black beard and mustache during the robbery. He also wore a navy, short-sleeved Tommy Hillfiger tee-shirt with "Tommy Sports" written on the front of it. He wore dark sunglasses and carried a small black nylon bag into the bank to carry the cash.
The robber who was armed with the shotgun is described as a black male in his twenties, approximately 6'3"-6'4" tall with a thin build. He wore a dark colored "hoodie" and sunglasses during the robbery.
Wait, the guy who said he was hungry had "a medium build" and the other guy had "a thin build"?
Did John Dillinger ever whine about missing a meal?
Man up, dude.