If you're going to travel at more than 80 miles an hour over the limit, you should probably be a professional speedster and not a celebrity with run-of-the-mill driving know-how.
On Tuesday, Kyle Busch, a championship-winning NASCAR driver and team owner, was caught going 83 (eighty-freaking-three!) miles per hour over the posted limit. The Iredell County, North Carolina, officer who cited the 26-year-old for going 128 in a 45 mph zone sent Busch on his merry way after receiving a written promise from Busch to appear in court.
Busch's excuse? He was "test driving" a Lexus LFA sports car and got "carried away."
Lesson to celebrities not named Kyle Busch, Danica Patrick or David Coulthard: Leave the high-speed lawbreaking to the professionals.
5. Ben Affleck Degree of Danger: 6 (out of 10) Style Points: 1 (out of 10) In 2001, a Treutlen County, Georgia, officer busted the movie star for traveling at 116 in a 70 mph zone of Interstate 16. Affleck, who has been in and out of rehab, was not drunk or on drugs. He cooperated with law enforcement and paid his fine.
4. Mike Tyson Degree of Danger: 5 Style Points: 4 Back in 1989, the at-the-time undisputed heavyweight champeen and his Lamborghini were recorded going 71 in a 30 mph zone. He told Albany, New York, authorities that he was drag racing with a friend.3. Michael Jordan Degree of Danger: 4 Style Points: 6 Also in '89, an arrest warrant was issued for the NBA star after he failed to pay a ticket to a Kentucky traffic court for driving 90 mph in his Ferrari. (Jordan was also driving without a license.) The multimillionaire would finally mail in the $102.50, the equivalent of one one-billionth of a penny for Jordan.
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2. James Dean Degree of Danger: 10 Style Points: 8 In 1955, Dean died after colliding with another motorist at the intersection of highways 41 and 466 in San Luis Obispo County, California at 108 mph. Just hours before, Dean had been ticketed for going ten miles an hour over the speed limit. His passing would be ruled an "accidental death with no criminal intent."
1. Jackson Pollock Degree of Danger: 10 Style Points: 10 The abstract expressionist painter and notorious alcoholic had tipped back way too many when he lost control of his Oldsmobile convertible in 1956. The single-car crash, which happened less than a mile from Pollock's Springs, New York home, also took the life of passenger Edith Metzger.
Honorable Mention: On March 30, former NBA baller Allen Iverson was a passenger in his Lamborghini when he and his boy were apprehended. They weren't speeding, but they were operating a vehicle with expired tags. The incident caused AI to drop this classic blast: "Take the vehicle, I have ten more. Police don't have anything else fucking to do except fuck with me...Do you know who I am?!"