Note to former Bush administration people who may yet be called to testify before Congress: Don't sweat it. Lie your ass off. You won't get much more than a slap on the wrist.
That's the lesson to take away from today's sentencing of Houston Astros shortstop Miguel Tejada, who admitted to lying to Congress and investigators about steroid use.
Perjury in front of Congress? That'll get you....a year's probation. And no travel restrictions. A hilarious $5,000 fine. And 100 hours of community service, which will probably consist of public appearances at hospitals and schools. ("Kids, lie your ass off to Congress!! No, seriously, don't. I guess.")
The Astros issued a statement expressing relief.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
''We're happy that this issue is resolved,'' Astros GM Ed Wade said. ''Miguel can now focus on baseball and direct all of his energy toward being a key member of the Astros. It was resolved the way Miguel and his representatives believed it would be, and we can now all move forward.''
Prosecutors noted Tejada had accepted responsibility for his crime and "has made a series of good choices" since then.
Tejada himself told the judge he was sorry, in a statement that took all of 45 seconds. (He was probably eager to get started on that community service.)
Court observers noted that Tejada did not apologize for his lack of range at shortstop.