Former hand-surgeon/wife-beater Michael Brown has been sentenced to 30 days in a federal penitentiary for choking several stewardesses aboard a British Airways flight in January. He'll get two years of supervised release afterwards, with mandatory mental health treatment and substance abuse evaluation.
More in a bit.
UPDATE: U.S. District Court Judge Donald Graham handed down the sentence Wednesday afternoon after rejecting a plea agreement between Brown and federal prosecutors.
Brown was ordered to report to Miami authorities on October 25. He was also fined $5,000 -- which is way less than he allegedly spent on strippers in Houston every month.
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According to the sentencing minutes, Brown "apologized to the Court and asked for Mercy and that he would like to not...be sentenced to custody because of his children."
Oy freakin' vey.
We're not yet sure what effect -- if any -- this will have on the future of his companies, which have continued to hemorrhage funds under the control of "chief restructuring officer" David Grange. Doctors working for Brown Medical Center had their salaries cut by 50 percent this month, according to a memo from BMC Chief Operating Officer Robert Calamia.
But Brown oughta look on the bright side: maybe now he'll have some much-needed quiet time to crank out more sex-advice letters to his daughter.