After a Monday that saw a few significant legal waves ripple throughout the sports world -- a "not guilty" verdict for Roger Clemens in his federal perjury trial, continued disturbing testimony in the Jerry Sandusky child molestation trial, Roger Goodell cackling at the appeals of the suspended New Orleans Saints players -- it's understandable that nobody is talking about the "verdict" in the precedent-setting case of Golf Course Rooster Guy vs the U.S. Open.
Golf Course Rooster Guy, you say?
Yes, and if you saw the aftermath of the U.S. Open you know exactly who I'm talking about. If you didn't see the post tournament interview with U.S. Open champion Webb Simpson, well, here you go...
Golf Course Rooster Guy actually has a name, which is a good thing since Golf Course Rooster Guy is very wordy and sounds like a really lame "one-episode cameo hero" on the Super Friends. His name is Andrew James Dudley. Appropriately, he goes by the "first-middle-last" name method, which has always been reserved for serial killers, government targets, and apparently now, golf course trespassers.
You may be asking yourself, "Wow, that Mets fan who celebrated Johan Santana's no-hitter on the field got a night in the pokey and a misdemeanor charge that carries a maximum sentence of a year in jail. What did Andrew James Dudley get as his punishment?"
First, that Mets fan had a name, people. It was Rafael Diaz. And as for Dudley, well, I'll tell you what's gonna happen to him, but first a few observations on this bit of footage:
1. Kudos to Dudley for knowing exactly where to position himself to get off his bird call. He landed himself right smack dab in the middle of the shot, a veteran move by a guy who (to the best of my knowledge) was attempting this on national television for the first time.
2. BIGGER kudos to the cameraman responsible for the wide shot. In a day and age where production teams for sporting events are instructed specifically not to give unwarranted attention to interlopers that inject themselves into the field of play, this cameraman panned out to make sure we caught the full shot of Dudley. Without the yeoman efforts of this cameraman, we don't get....
3. ...the shot of USGA director Mike Davis yanking Dudley off the set. I don't know Davis' height-weight dimensions but he doesn't appear to be a big guy. He tugged Dudley out of there like a rag doll. Impressive.
4. Simpson's line of "Enjoy the jail cell, pal." was maybe a D+ for humor, except when you apply the conversion chart to account for Simpson's being a pro golfer (not exactly a fleet of stand-up comics) and then it becomes a solid A-, and maybe the funniest line of the year on tour.
And the line, as it turns out, was accurate only to an extent. As it turns out, police did detain Dudley for a period of time in a station drunk tank until he sobered up (oh, news flash, he was shitfaced when he executed this little maneuver), but he will NOT face charges:
Dudley was not arrested for disturbing the interview but was held in a police station drunk tank after officers determined he was inebriated, said Albie Esparza, a police spokesman. Dudley was released when he sobered up.
Police did not arrest Dudley, concluding he did nothing illegal, Esparza said.
"There is no trespassing, since he had a ticket to be there," Esparza said. "All he did was go on the green of the 18th hole and make a bird noise."
So allow me to be the first to say "FREE RAFAEL DIAZ!" After all, he had a ticket to be at the Mets game. All he did was celebrate a franchise milestone moment with some of his heroes on the field.
Perhaps if he stopped and made a bird noise along the way, he'd have been granted immunity.
Meanwhile, you golf fans here in Houston, make a note -- if you're feeling a little saucy at next year's Shell Houston Open and want to show everyone your brand new raven crow sound, go ahead and saunter out to the 18th green and let her rip! Andrew James Dudley has blazed a trail for you!
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