War On Christmas Revived: Federal Court Gives "No Jesus Pencils!" Principals Another Chance
Just when you thought the War on Christmas had been won -- and by the good, God-fearing, Constitution-hating forces, too -- along comes another setback.
We told you last month about two Texas elementary principals who had failed to convince a federal appellate panel that they shouldn't be sued because they wouldn't let students distribute Jesus-ed-up pencils and candy canes during Christmas parties. (Or, as the heathen infidels would no doubt put it, "Xmas parties.")
Now the full 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals -- a haven for Republicans -- has decided they want to reconsider the panel's decision.
"A member of the court having requested a poll on the petition for rehearing en banc," the order says, using the legal term meaning "by the full court of appeals." A majority of the active judges voted in favor.
People, this is very, very ominous. When Satan begins operating through the auspices of the 5th Circuit, the End Days are near.
No wonder birds and fish are dying in Arkansas.
We can only hope this is the Battle of the Bulge of the War on Christmas, where the forces of evil staged a brief, last-minute, temporarily successful counterattack before they were smited forever by God, or Patton.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Rational East Texas Man Urges Violence and Tells Cops to "Step the Hell Aside"...
- Texas Horse Racing Will Continue, At Least For Three More Months
- Court Calls Texas Churches Campaigning Against LGBT-Friendly Politicians "Paranoid"