What History Tells Us: Five Black Presidents
And although it seems heaven sent
We ain't ready, to see a black President
2Pac never lived to see himself proven wrong, but we do have an African-American Commander-in-Chief. The media will be going on for months about the historic nature of this election, the ramifications for America's future, and when Obama's secret madrassa programming will cause him to implement sharia. While we wait, let's take a look at a list of the top five fictional black Presidents.
We had to include TV, because they're almost as rare in Hollywood as they are in real life.
5. President Lindberg (Tommy "Tiny" Lister) - The Fifth Element (1997)
Former wrestler Lister has a brief but memorable turn as the Chief Executive in Luc Besson's underrated weird space odyssey. This clip, another of those dadgum "internet musical tributes," also sets a precedent for later black White House electees, so pay attention.
4. Mays Gilliam (Chris Rock) - Head of State (2003)
If only Sarah Palin had responded to questions about her lack of experience as...eloquently as the late, great Bernie Mac, she'd be picking out moose heads for the Lincoln Bedroom as we speak.
3. President Camacho (Terry Crews) - Idiocracy 2006)
Poorly received, uneven comedy? Or chilling glimpse into a future that not even Nostradamus could foresee, and not just because no one will be able to spell his name? Whatever your position, it's easy to see "Joe the Plumber" as a direct ancestor of "Beef Supreme."
2. Tom Beck (Morgan Freeman) - Deep Impact (1998)
AKA the Killer Asteroid Flick of 1998 Not Named Armageddon. Freeman sounds Presidential in almost every role, even when he's driving an old white lady around, so this wasn't much of a stretch. What gets lost is the larger lesson, put forward by The Fifth Element, that putting a black man in the White House attracts meteors.
1. David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert) - 24
The TV show 24 isn't just xenophobic and ludicrous, it's also a weekly hour-long testimonial on the benefits of torture. It did, however, give us a President with just about the biggest cojones ever to appear on screen, black or white.
-- Pete Vonder Haar
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