If The Daily Stormer Goes Offline, Here's the Great Coverage Texans Will Miss

White supremacists got their swastika-printed boxers in a twist Monday after web host Go Daddy announced Sunday it was kicking neo-Nazi news site Daily Stormer off its service after the site ran a story on Heather Heyer, the protester killed in Charlottesville, Virginia over the weekend, "fat and a drain on society."

This made us wonder where hate-filled white people would now turn to for news if the Daily Stormer goes offline.

The site re-registered under Google, which promptly announced it was giving Daily Stormer the boot as well, but an August 14 post, credited to Daily Stormer founder Andrew Anglin, claims that the site is still active. Another article credited to Anglin announced that "Trump Finally Gives Half-Assed Charlottesville Statement to Whining Jew Media," which, by Daily Stormer style guidelines, seems redundant.

It's an especially difficult time for Anglin's site, which in April was seeking "shekels" to defend itself from a lawsuit by the Southern Poverty Law Center, better known to Daily Stormer readers as "kikes." (Bitcoins are Anglin's preferred form of shekels, "because [they] can't be seized easily by court orders." Plus, we assume Anglin naturally believes that Jews are unable to clench their oily talons around digital currency, much to their chagrin).

"All the news that's fit to set on fire and use to light crosses."
"All the news that's fit to set on fire and use to light crosses."
Daily Stormer screenshot

Unfortunately, if the site eventually goes kaput, its faithful, semi-literate readership will miss out on its unique take on Texas news. Here's a roundup of the kind of stories they'll have to do without.

"60-Year-Old Texas Grandmother Shoots Feral Black Home Invaders," Aug. 14, 2017.

According to totally-not-pseudonymous reporter Joe Jones, this story offered some "good news involving black crime" in Katy. The story drove home the ol' Daily Stormer aphorism: "Around blacks, never relax!"

"Texas vs. Trans-Insanity: Lone Star State Feeling the Heat in the Fight Against the Freaks," July 28, 2017.

Bylined "Goy Orbison," this thought-provoking piece tackles the controversial "bathroom bill," noting that the legislation's opponents include "Jews and soulless businessmen [who] don't care if your daughter has to share a room with a mentally unstable mutilated man in a dress." The story also refers to Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo, who, like other law enforcement leaders, has spoken out against the bill, as "a faggot advocate." Oh, Goy — you have such a way with words!

"Texas Rep Calls ICE on Beaner Protesters — Gets Assaulted by Spic State Congressman!" May 30, 2017.

The Goy-meister hits hard again with a piece that manages to squeeze two racist epithets in the headline. Just when you think ol' Goyster has fired every anti-immigrant arrow from his hate-quiver, you're pierced right through the heart with "lawnmower-Americans," "wetbacks," and "mestizo tribalism." Woodward and Bernstein wish they could've come up with gold bitcoins like that.

"Negroid Stabs Up UT Austin Campus," May 2, 2017.

Thanks to the Jews, most people weren't aware of the race of the man who went on a stabbing spree on UT's campus earlier this year, as Anglin himself tells us here. Only those readers who tuned into the Daily Stormer knew right away that the man charged with the crime was "Negroid," as opposed to "Polaroid," "Asteroid," or — perhaps worst of all — "Avoid the Noid."

The Stormer took things a step further by describing one of the victims (who was strangely not identified as "Caucasoid") as "a liberal fag."

See, anyone can blame a perpetrator — it takes real journalism to blame the victim as well. And unless The Daily Stormer gets enough shekels, it may be offline forever. And that would be a heck of a shame for Texans.

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