Two things you should know about William Webb, if what police charge him with is true: Don't let him babysit your kid, and don't hire him to be your arsonist.
Webb, 27, was arrested last week after a lengthy investigation. Waco police say, according to KWTX, that he was babysitting an infant in December and when the mother came home, she thought the baby was acting strangely.
A trip to the hospital discovered a blood-alcohol level of an amazing 0.291 percent, which even a Galveston Spring Breaker would find difficult to achieve.
"A bottle of vodka was found on a coffee table at the home where Webb was watching the baby, but it's unclear how the baby ingested the alcohol," the station says.
The baby is recovering, but the story wasn't done yet.
Webb bonded out of jail and, police say, began making threats to his accuser.
Then, violating a protective order, he went to the accuser's house and tried to set it on fire.
He poured gasoline around the house, but his arson skills were apparently as well-honed as his babysitting skills.
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"The home did not catch fire because of the wet conditions," KWTX says.
Tires were also slashed around the property, police say. Webb was found at his mother's house and arrested again for attempted arson.