Your Fantasy Hurricane Draft Tips For 2010
Today marks the beginning of hurricane season, and for many reasons things look ominous. God has already shown He's pissed at the gulf, and if anything further bad can happen in connection with the BP spill -- like, say, a hurricane -- it will.
Plus all the usual weather signs -- water temps, El Nino, chances of dust killing African systems in the grave, wind shear -- are pointing in the wrong direction.
So it's a fingers-crossed type of year. It also means the stakes are high for this year's Fantasy Hurricane Draft.
Last year we gave you our tips on what names would be best to draft; here's
three five to look out for in 2010.
The scoring system remains the same: 10 points for every $100 million in damage; 20 points for Category at Landfall (i.e, Cat 2 gets 40 points, Cat 3 60, etc), and the closer to us, the higher the score. East Coast is 50; the Gulf from the Mississippi River east gets 75, from the Mississippi west to the Texas border 100, and a Texas hit is 200.
The hot picks for 2010:
Are you freaking kidding us? A hurricane named Igor is everyone's go-to Number One pick, even if they don't know how to pronounce it. (EYE-gor? EEE-gor?) There's no way Igor doesn't do some serious damage. Unless he's the Igor from Young Frankenstein.
My name is Earl, and my karma is not good. This one is definitely headed for the Flori-Bama area, where everyone will wonder why there's a hurricane with a middle name.
Teutonic names may not always work out in the end, but who wouldn't want Hurricane Karl in your line-up? Blitzkrieging his way through the Leeward Passage to -- well, let's just hop he tried to get to Poland.
Same argument applies, but you're taking a chance waiting for the O's. Then again, if they reach the O's, anything can happen. In which case take the Germans, at least until they invade Russia.
There is, of course, no way you should pick a "V" hurricane, unless you're a masochist both in terms of losing fantasy-league competitions and living in a season of constant hurricane fear. But by drafting Virginie, you'd at least get a commissioner's ruling on how to pronounce the thing: the gynecological-sounding Vir-JI-nee with a long I? The cracker-sounding Vir-ginnie, like white trash calling from the porch?
We need to know.
On the other hand, we don't want to ever reach the V in the list, so maybe it's better if it just remains a mystery.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.