You're No Activist 'Til You've Joined a Facebook Group
Who says Facebook Groups have gone the way of the dodo? Naysayers, you're gonna hafta shut it for one red hot minute. 'Cause three weeks ago, when 17-year old Vincent Giovanazzi went missing, it was social networking that came to the rescue. Instead of organizing tearful press conferences on national television or even starting a blog, Giovanazzi's family whipped together a Facebook Group to organize a squadron of seekers. And the group grew. And grew. And grew some more. To over 1,600 strong in support of searching for and locating the lil' dude.
FACEBOOK FAN PAGES, COULD YOU HAVE DONE THAT? HUH? HUH?!
Regretfully, the manhunt did not end happily, but we don't want to dwell on that right now, 'cause it's not Facebook's fault. Fact of the matter? Facebook is obviously the modern day Harvey Milk. Activism and Facebook. Peas and carrots. Bonnie and Clyde. College and unprotected sex. Airport bathrooms and conservative politicians. Yes, you get the point. A match made in heaven indeed.
To celebrate this remarkable development in societal sea change, we wanted to highlight a few groups that make us wanna run to Walgreens, buy posterboard and permanent markers, flex our most shoutworthy vocal chords, and take some real-time action to heal the world and make it a better place.
Instead of "Fuck the Police!", How About You STOP BREAKING THE LAW RETARD Yeah, you know, you have a point there. Especially with all those capital letters. We'll stop driving the speed limit, using our blinkers, yielding to oncoming traffic, and get pulled over 'cause we're brown. Or female. Or we zigged instead of zagged. Sure. We'll stop breaking the law. You've totally got us now! P.S. Extra persuasive points for using the word "retard," too.
Tell Him You Have Herpes Wait, are we telling him we have herpes because we have herpes, or we want him to think we have herpes? If we don't have herpes, why would we tell him we have herpes? Can't we just tell him we're not interested in him 'cause we think he has herpes? Sigh. We certainly hope there's a good explanation for this.
Get Out Of the Fu@#ing Middle Lane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the...? Why? Can't you pass us on the left? If we're not supposed to be in the middle lane, who is? Look, here are our wallets, filled with credit cards and cash. Now will you please remove all those exclamation points?! We're getting really nervous over here.
Against Gay Marriage? Then Don't Get One and Shut the Fuck Up Uh. Yeah. We'll just, uh, take our, uh, non-gay selves over here and get an, uh, non-gay marriage. Yes. That's exactly what we'll do. Thanks for the suggestion. Shutting the fuck up now.