Zapruder Analysis of the Latest Swimming Pool Dunk (VIDEO)
Screen shot from JamBroz
I have to say, Internet, rarely do I chastise you. Rarely do you let me down.
But I'll be honest -- the lack of acrobatic suburban white kid swimming pool dunks from you has been disappointing. Frankly, those dunks were a big part of what sustained me last summer from a content standpoint. (Aaron Hernandez's addiction to killing people was the unfortunate other part.)
However, if you're going to make a late run in the latter part of August, I may be willing to forgive and forget. The latest pool dunk you've given us is a pretty good start toward mending fences.
Not only a pool dunk, but apparently a pool dunking faction that I was unaware of! Like a WWE stable whose gimmick is perfectly timed jumps off diving boards and rocking GoPro cameras on their heads!
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Say hello to the Jambroz, who if I'm not mistaken authored the "ring of fire" dunk I Zaprudered earlier this summer.
The Jambroz have taken the idle time and access to private aquatics of suburban teenagers and channeled it into minor social media relevance and their own corner of YouTube.
Good for them!
Here is their latest effort, complete with new props, new moves and lots of first-person POV shots using GoPro technology....
Okay, Zapruder time....
0:01 -- We get a shot that includes no pool, no hoop and no ball. Just a dude with a gardener's hat on using a leaf blower to clean the yard scraps off the sidewalk steps. We've officially crossed over with pool dunks to where now there is actually psychology and story telling. Clearly, this is an homage to Caddyshack with this cat playing the role of Carl Spackler. It's obvious.
0:11 -- Spackler walks onto the patio, or as I call it, "swimming pool dunk thunderdome." This is the Jambroz arena, where legends are made, careers destroyed in an instant. (Actually, not really. Probably just a lot of editing.)
0:17 -- Spackler puts the blower on the ground, leaving it running, and we officially get our most unique swimming pool dunk trigger move, the "leaf blower suspends the ball in mid air like something out of the third floor of the children's science museum" move.
0:20 -- Much respect for a high-difficulty trigger move -- an accurate line drive to a jumper on the far side, while the unicycle guy to the right begins his trek poolside. How many times did the poor bastard on the unicycle have to double back and fall over because Danny Ainge sprayed a line drive into the neighbors' yard or popped the ball 50 feet in the air?
0:22 -- Unicycle guy goes catch-flip-splash, into the pool, and ball winds up with...
0:23 -- ...a repurposed, hatless Spackler! Two sport star! Leaf blowing and catch-and-flip!
0:24 -- Holy shit, the Jambroz are serious as a heart attack. How else do you explain the homemade water slide they installed for this dunk?
0:26 -- Oh, trampoline somersault! The frivolous luchador maneuver has made its way to pool dunking!
0:29 -- AND BOOM! Okay, now is where it gets a little weird....
0:31 -- ....because lots of shirtless pool hugging...
0:33 -- ....and shirtless tongue wagging....
0:47 -- ....and more shirtless pool hugging from a different angle....
0:59 -- ....but we'll let it go. Because we have our first official pool-dunking stable. All hail the Jambroz!