Subject:

AFC South

  • Blogs

    November 7, 2011

    Texans/Browns -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    Photo by Marco TorresTough day for Colt McCoy​The Texans beat the Browns soundly yesterday by a score of 30-12, and for the first time in the history of the franchise, your hometown team is three games over .500. The Texans have never tasted this rarefied air before, so I don't really know w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 10, 2011

    5 Signs You're Dangerously Starting to Think It Just Might Be the Texans' Year

    Check yourself before you wreck yourself.​You have tried. You have told yourself you've been down the road before, and each time your hopes and dreams have been cruelly dashed. But you can't help it -- you are, once again, letting yourself become optimistic about the Texans. But this year th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Texans 37, Buccaneers 9: Five Things We Learned

    Photo by Marco TorresIn the immortal words of Ian Dury: Reasons to be cheerful, part three​Were it not for the heartbreak of the past 10 years, week after week of uncompetitive football might get boring. As it is, the Texans and their legion of fans will take the wins however they come. The T ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Matt Schaub Out, and It Could Be Serious

    Yes, Texans fans, you are cursed. Celebrating too soon.....​Quarterback Matt Schaub has suffered what might be a serious foot injury, which he got in the game against the Buccaneers Sunday. "How bad could it be if he still played with it?" you ask. Well, adrenaline -- and not being asked to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Texans/Bucs -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (The "Goddammit, NOT Schaub!" Edition)

    Born under a bad sign.​So, I was thisclose to hitting "SEND" on a post that would have openly discussed the Texans going 13-3 and getting home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. And then this: Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub has a significant foot injury that will force him to mi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2011

    Slim Thug, Paul Wall and Chamillionaire Get Behind the Texans

    ​Slim Thug posted a video today for #ThugThursday simply titled "Houston" that is all about the Texans and he invited Paul Wall and Chamillionaire along for the ride, which we assume is not dirty. The song, which opens with and samples throughout the NFL on Fox theme song (much better than th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2011

    Openings & Closings: Food Trucks and Football-Shaped Bars

    ​As we reported earlier this week, Houston is getting three new out-of-town chains soon. Will you be patronizing any of them? Austin-based Torchy's Tacos will be opening on December 7 in the old Gratefull Taco spot. Burger House is moving down from Dallas into a space in Rice Village in 2012. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2011

    Texans 20, Jaguars 13: Five Reasons Why Not To Panic

    The road to the Super Bowl goes through T.J. Yates​In the moment, it felt so overwhelming. How could the Texans, already reeling from the loss of Matt Schaub, recover from yet another season-ending quarterback injury, this time to the left collarbone of Matt Leinart? The initial results didn ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2011

    Five Jobs Even Riskier Than Texans' QB, Such As Spinal Tap Drummer

    "We're from the Discovery Channel, and we'd like to watch you work."​If you didn't read our Texans' game wrap -- and you should, it offers positive thoughts for the team's future this season -- you might not know that Matt Leinart, the backup quarterback playing his first game as a Texan beca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2011

    Brett Favre, Sage Rosenfels, Etc.: The Pluses & Minuses Of Potential New Texans QBs

    He throws almost-accurate passes in his Wrangler ads!!​With Texan quarterbacks falling like British Tommies at the Somme, speculation is rampant that the team might sign a veteran who would give them a better chance in the playoffs than rookie T.J. Yates. We're not sure we buy into the theory ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2011

    The Texans: Seven Motivational Posters for the Rest of the Season

    We all know things have changed a bit for the Houston Texans from those halcyon days just a couple of weeks ago when they were pushing for the Number One seed in the AFC. Matt Schaub had a season-ending injury. Backup QB Matt Leinart had a career-ending injury. But all is not lost in TexansWorld. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2011

    Openings & Closings: November 2011

    Photo by Amber AmbroseEl Rey closed this week -- but which one?​Remember how busy of a month October was for openings and closings? November was a little slower, but not by much. In upcoming restaurants, one of our favorite bloggers reports that Calliope's is opening a second location of its ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2011

    Texans 17, Falcons 10: The Day Gary Kubiak Won The City Of Houston

    Yes we can​One of the major criticisms of Gary Kubiak has been an alleged lack of guts. From his turning away on game-winning field goal attempts to generally conservative playcalling when ahead, Texans fans wondered over the years if he had the killer instinct to win big. But the 2011 season ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2011

    Texans/Falcons & The NFL Weekend -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    Photos by Marco TorresHopes are rising at Reliant​This time last season, in the aftermath of a Week 13 Michael Vick-administered beatdown on a Thursday night in Philadelphia, the Texans began preparation for a Week 14 Monday night game with the Baltimore Ravens in Houston. We all know how tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2011

    Blood and Broken Collarbones: Another Attempt at a Texans Tribute Song

    Nothing like a phoenix, actually.​What is it about teams winning that makes really awful music just ooze from the woodwork? We remember back when the Rockets were winning some of the most God-awful tribute material hitting the streets and, at times Lord help us, the airwaves. We get that fan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2011

    Texans' Last-Second, Playoff-Clinching Win: Yes, It's A Miracle Season

    Get on the bandwagon NOW​You're an underdog down by six on the road with 2:33 on the clock. You've got 80 yards to go, and you're depending on a rookie quarterback making his second start. Plus, you're the Texans, the team that has given Houston years and years of mediocrity and who, just las ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Texans 20, Bengals 19: Historic Season Doesn't Have To Stop With Division Title

    Photo by Marco TorresSign of the times​The popular opinion of the 2011 Houston Texans has been that while they were an inspiring story, injuries would prevent them from being a true Super Bowl contender. After Sunday, consider the latest in a long line of Texan myths officially debunked. Whe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Texans Celebrate: Twitter Pics From The Locker Room And The Team Plane

    ​It's been a long, long time since Houston has hosted an NFL playoff game -- Newt Gingrich hadn't even become Speaker of the House yet, for crying out loud, when the Oilers choked away a Dome game to the Chiefs in 1993. And the Texans, of course, have given fans plenty of despair and disappoi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Putting An A-Hole Non-Texan Fan In His Place

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2011

    The Top 10 Cookbooks of 2011: Texas Edition

    ​This is neither a list of the all-time best cookbooks of the year, nor is it a list of the best Texan cookbooks of the year. It's a combination of both. Because odds are that if you're giving a cookbook as a gift this year, it's either going to be to a fellow Texan or because you're a Texan l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2011

    Football! My Texans Prediction and Other Weekend Best Bets

    Baby needs new gear...​Every year at about this time, I wind up investing several hundred dollars in various pieces of Texans gear for my two sons (ages 13 and 12, and I'm fairly certain the only two Texan fans in their Chicago-area junior high school), and while the attitude in this, the most ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2011

    Panthers 28, Texans 13: Concerns Mount At QB, Kicker As Playoffs Approach

    Photos by Marco TorresRookie T.J. Yates looked very rookie-esque​The Texans are three weeks from postseason play and have rapidly intensifying concerns at quarterback and placekicker, two of the most critical playoff positions. It may not be time to panic, but a regular season that seems cert ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2011

    Colts 19, Texans 16: The Day The Sports Gods Reminded Houstonians To Know Our Role

    Oh, there goes gravity​For months, it seemed as though the Texans were the average Houstonian's sports salvation. Never mind the Astros' status as the worst organization in baseball and a Bud Selig-forced move to the American League after 50 years. Never mind that the Rockets, after cleverly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2011

    Rape, Scandal, Greed and Cockfighting -- The 2011 Sports Year In Review

    2011: Penn State's horrible year​You know how, in the series 24, the way a season unfolds? How just when you think there has been some sort of resolution to the bad guys being bottled up, right then and there a new (often worse) layer is introduced, and ultimately in like Hour 22 Jack Bauer wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2012

    Titans 23, Texans 22: Let's Hope It Was Indeed Meaningless

    No helmet needed The Texans ended their most successful regular season with a third consecutive loss, effectively doing everything possible to dim NFL Playoff Fever in Houston. The mantra fans kept mumbling to themselves is "meaningless," which is what everyone was calling this 23-22 loss to the T ... More >>

  • News

    January 5, 2012

    2011-12 Houston Press Texans Game Card

    No helmet needed The Texans ended their most successful regular season with a third consecutive loss, effectively doing everything possible to dim NFL Playoff Fever in Houston. The mantra fans kept mumbling to themselves is "meaningless," which is what everyone was calling this 23-22 loss to the T ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2012

    Lucky Enough To Be Going To The Texans' Game? Here's The Info You Need

    Photo by Marco TorresOh, and be loud​Bill Clinton had been in office only one year the last time there was an NFL playoff game in Houston. As you might have heard, there's another one coming up Saturday at 3:30 p.m. It's sold out, but if you're one of the lucky ticketholders, there's some inf ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2012

    Texans-Bengals: Five Matchups to Watch, and a Prediction

    If he can dream...​The last time the city of Houston hosted an NFL playoff game -- or even had a team playing in one -- it came under very different circumstances than what will transpire Saturday afternoon. Unlike the 10-6 Texans, who slide into the playoffs on a 3-game losing streak, the 12 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2012

    Texans, Saints and Tebow! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets

    PLAYOFFS?!?!!? Oh, yeah​So is Houston ready for some playoff football? How about we go through the Reliant Stadium checklist for Saturday's game with the Bengals to find out. Notifications to season ticket holders to be in their seats 30 minutes before kickoff? Check. Colored placards in sea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2012

    JJ Watt & Pacman Jones Lead Texans To First Playoff Victory Ever

    JJ Watt's hands: Worth a number-one draft pick​A packed, loud and raucous Reliant Stadium crowd saw the highlight of rookie JJ Watt's life as the defensive lineman's incredible pick-six led the Texans to a 31-10 playoff win. Equally helping Houston's cause was Benglas corner Pacman Jones, who ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Texans 31, Bengals 10: Andre Johnson's Return Sparks Offensive Revival

    Photo by Marco TorresHappy times at Reliant​Andre Johnson was poised to assume the role of feel-good story in any Texan playoff win, regardless of how it came about. Nine seasons of brilliant play that (until now) had been overshadowed by team-wide failures can have that effect. For the first ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Ten Awesome Tweets Celebrating the Texans Playoff Win

    ​There's nothing like playoff victory to get the juices flowing...or the fingers typing. As with most things these days, when it happens in real life, it will be reported shortly thereafter on Twitter. When the Texans defeated the Bengals for their first ever playoff win, it came as no surpris ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend's 4 Winners and 4 Losers

    JJ Watt, scoring machine​All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once, but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Zombies & Texans: This Week In Houston Rap Videos

    ​Ah, rappers and music videos. Some are vehicles for self-promotion, others are tools used to promote a message, a gaggle of asses or some good ol' wholesome debauchery. In the case of the Houston rap class, music videos are always eye opening glimpses into the future, either telling what a ta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Texans, Saints, Tebow and Eli! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets

    There's no need to fear...​The scarcity of games on these NFL playoff weekends is a huge reason why wagering in the postseason can be a death trap of second-guessing for me. Fewer games on the board means there's way more time to focus (and, frankly, OVER-focus if there is such a thing) on the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    Texans-Ravens: Five Keys to Pulling Off the Upset

    Photo by Marco TorresAn upset: It could happen.​The lack-of-respect narrative for the T.J. Yates-era Texans may finally be changing. Of the four playoff underdogs this weekend, the Texans ( 7.5) are labeled by oddsmakers as the second-most likely to pull an upset. The only team higher, San Fr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    How to Appear Knowledgeable at a Texans Gamewatch Sunday (From the Bad Advice Dept.)

    Photo by Marco TorresOh, and wear a mask.​You don't have to be a football fan to find yourself at a Houston Texans gamewatch party Sunday when they take on Baltimore. Which can be a problem, because you'll be surrounded by fanatics and you don't want to look foolish. Luckily, you can look li ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2012

    The Dream Is Over: Texans' Stout Defense Can't Overcome Team's Mistakes

    There is sadness in Houston​Inspiring defense by the Houston Texans, which included a clutch goal-line stand, couldn't overcome the team's mistakes as they fell 20-13 to the Ravens Sunday. T.J. Yates threw three interceptions on passes that should never have been thrown, and Jacoby Jones disa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2012

    Ravens 20, Texans 13: Historic Season Ends From Self-Inflicted Wounds

    Looking ahead to the fall, finally​In the big picture, the Texans were playing with house money. With little playoff experience and on a third-string rookie quarterback, this shouldn't rank high on the list of Houston football collapses. This wasn't the Oilers in Denver and Buffalo, circa 199 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2012

    Sunday Night: Starfucker at Fitzgerald's

    Photos by Barry Sigman​"We're sorry about your football team," said Starfucker* guitarist Ryan Biornstad to the packed crowd of college-age Houstonians at Fitz, just eight hours after the Houston Texans gracefully bowed out of its first ever playoff trip. Starfucker/STRFKR/Pyramid/Pyramidd m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2012

    Mourning The Texans' Loss At The #Thurogod's Altar

    The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email it to sheaserrano@gmail. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2012

    Two Ways to Get Over the Texans' Loss on Sunday

    Photo courtesy of the Houston Food BankJoshua Martinez, left, and Lyle Bento of The Modular made the best of the Texans' loss with a donation to the Houston Food Bank.​I hear the Texans lost on Sunday. I say "hear" because I couldn't bear the stress of watching the playoff game, and instead sp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2012

    Houston Texans "Super Bowl Tattoo Guy" Speaks In The Aftermath Of The 2011 Season

    Photos by Anna Megan RaleyA magical season, and tattoo​In the aftermath of the Texans 20-13 loss to the Ravens last Sunday, the question I was asked most frequently by my Twitter followers (other than the terms and conditions of Jacoby Jones' contract) was "What do you think 'Texans Super Bowl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2012

    Texans Offseason Blueprint: Five Moves Needed to Become AFC Favorites

    ​If Sunday's AFC championship proved anything, it's that the Texans with T.J. Yates were a legitimate threat to reach the Super Bowl. The same Ravens that the Texans so thoroughly dominated in Baltimore one week earlier (save mostly-unforced turnovers) had the title in Lee Evans's grasp and o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 24, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Mario Must Go Edition

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2012

    Google Auto-Complete Answers: Why Are Texans...

    ​Like most people who use the monolithic search engine, I find it funny when Google tries to auto-complete our search requests, but I don't always pay attention. Let's face it, Google's system is so damn fast, I barely even noticed when "where can I find" added "tranny hookers" to the end of t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2012

    Houston Texans Grieving Process 3.0: At Least We're Not This 49er Fan

    ​It's been a couple weeks, but perhaps some of you are still smarting from the Texans' loss to the Ravens ending their two game playoff run. As I expressed from the day after that game, there are lots of ways to cope with a loss, but to me the best way is taking some semblance of pleasure in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    Deontay Greenberry: A Texans-Related Grain Of Salt For College Football National Signing Day

    Deontay Greenberry: No way of telling​There was a time not too long ago when the last-minute defection of wide receiver Deontay Greenberry from my alma mater Notre Dame to the University of Houston would have sent me into a mental funk that would have taken me a week from which to recover. Af ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2012

    The Hair Balls Super Bowl Live Blog: Remember To Piss

    Oh here go hell come. ​In some alternate universe, the streets of Houston are currently bathed in Miller Lite, Reliant Stadium and every bar in town is a watch party, with even the homeless folks are wearing soiled Texans jerseys. But alas, our Houston Texans only made it into the second round ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2012

    Go Texans: Andre Johnson & J.J. Watt Are Rodeo Parade Grand Marshals

    Yet another highlight of JJ Watt's career​Houston has a "Go Texan" day every year before the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo Parade, but this year it should feature an extra "s" -- two Texans will be Grand Marshals for the downtown event. Andre Johnson and J.J. Watt will be there, the HLSR ann ... More >>

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