Subject:

AFC South

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2012

    Early NFL Season Win Total Lines Have Brought Out a New Trash-Talky Side of Bob McNair

    "I think we are a contender, so that's no surprise to me. I guess they got tired of losing money out there, putting our over-and-under too low, so they're getting more realistic." -- Houston Texans owner Bob McNair trash-talking the oddsmakers when asked about the Texans' status as favorites in the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2012

    NBA Formalwear: Chase Budinger's NBA Socks Worn Under His Suit At Tilman Fertitta's Charity Event

    On the evening of May 2, John Granato and I had the opportunity to broadcast a "very special edition" of our show on 1560 The Game live from local restaurant and casino mogul Tilman Fertitta's palatial (Understatement Adjective of the Year, by the way) estate in River Oaks. It was the annual "Gath ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 11, 2012

    The Betting Lines on the First 15 Texans Games Are Here!

    Think you have a pretty good idea on how your favorite NFL team will do this upcoming season? More importantly, does your "pretty good idea" differ drastically from the super-early predictions the experts have forecasted for your squad? If so, the gambling gods have given themselves you another way ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2012

    Jacoby Jones Released by the Texans

    "I don't watch the draft. When they draft someone it means somebody I played with for an entire year and sometimes longer, must go." -- Arian Foster on Twitter, 5/1/12 Arian Foster posted this tweet to his Twitter account late Tuesday afternoon, and despite the lack of any specific names mentioned ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 1, 2012

    Ranking The Local Sports Radio Shows From Worst To First

    I've been listening to sports radio in the city of Houston a very long time. Too long, probably. While I don't remember much about Edmonds and Martini, I do remember when the only sports radio show in Houston was Sports Beat, which ran evenings on KTRH. Amazing to think that we've gone from one four ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2012

    Texans Draft Recap: Six Things We Learned

    Few things are sillier in sports analysis than "draft grades" given before players have taken their first steps onto a professional field. Texan fans know this quite well, considering the abundance of Fs given to them by analysts in 2006 for having the gall to choose Mario Williams over the anointe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 27, 2012

    Texans Draft Notebook: What The Mercilus Pick Means For The Weekend

    The Texans, as expected, addressed a need with their first-round pick Thursday night. It just wasn't the sexy playmaker position that many expected. Whitney Mercilus, a projected linebacker at the NFL level who led the NCAA with 16 sacks in his junior year at Illinois, proved too much value for the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2012

    Texans Draft Preview: Understanding Needs In A Gary Kubiak Offense

    For the first time in years, the first round of the NFL Draft may not be about defense for the Texans. After spending exhaustive resources to rebuild the depleted unit, the consensus among pundits is that Gary Kubiak will use the 2012 draft to add youth to his offensive core -- namely, in the passi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 19, 2012

    The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here! The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here!

    In the timeless Steve Martin comedy The Jerk, there's a famous scene where Martin's character Navin R. Johnson sprints across the parking lot to snag a copy of the new phone book to confirm that, indeed, his name and phone number are included. When he is able to find his name he screams that inclus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 18, 2012

    Texans Release 2012 Schedule: Five Early Thoughts

    It's often not whom you play, but when you play. That's the key item to consider when evaluating an NFL schedule release. Ranking schedules based on prior-year records, as some media outlets did this week in proclaiming an "easy" slate for the Texans, can be misleading. For example, Denver -- sche ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 17, 2012

    Houston and Denver: Where Dreams of Being a Male Cheerleader Go to Die (w/ VIDEO!)

    It's been a longstanding joke that since the time Gary Kubiak took over the reins of the Houston Texans, every facet of the organization here has some tie to the Denver Broncos. If the Texans pick a player up off the waiver wire, oftentimes it's someone who played recently for the Broncos. If a coac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 29, 2012

    Frito Pies (or Not) Across America

    I suffer under no delusions that Frito pies -- whether Texan in origin or not -- are as popular outside of Texas/Oklahoma/New Mexico as they are in this Frito tied-triangle. I understand that Frito pies are to our region as lutefisk suppers are to Minnesota or lobster rolls are to Maine. However, I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 29, 2012

    The Texans Unleash Their Free Agency Assault...by Signing the Rams' Punter

    The offseason started out just fine for the Texans, with the team inking star running back Arian Foster to a five-year, $40 million contract. Since then, other than the re-signing of center Chris Myers, it's been a depressing parade of one guy after another either leaving or being asked to leave. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 21, 2012

    Texans Trade DeMeco Ryans -- The Players Speak Out

    Okay, this one I didn't totally see coming. After a somewhat tumultuous one-week period that saw the Texans lose outside linebacker Mario Williams and guard Mike Brisiel to free agency, and cut offensive tackle Eric Winston as a cap casualty, the Texans decided to shed more salary yesterday afterno ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 19, 2012

    Crisis Averted, Texans Fan -- Peyton Manning Spurns Titans for Broncos

    In a Texans offseason that has seen some good (Arian Foster's and Chris Myers' multiyear contract extensions), some bad (Mario Williams' leaving, although the Texans have proven they can survive that), and some ugly (the dismantling of the right side of the offensive line), strangely enough, the Tex ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2012

    A Look Ahead To Texan Free Agency, And Why It Won't Involve Peyton Manning

    It was less than a month ago when I believed the Texans would consider making a play for quarterback Peyton Manning. But on the verge of the NFL's free-agent signing bonanza on Tuesday, it looks as though any Texans' changes will be on a smaller scale -- and rightfully so. It seems clear the Texan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2012

    Houston Texans Spring Cleaning Hits Winston, Leinart, Vickers

    If you're looking for more signs of the Texans continuing shift from also-ran to legitimate Super Bowl contender, you needn't look any further than the "Transactions" portion of any NFL related website the last two days. Whereas in past seasons (hell, as recently as last summer), the Texans were d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 7, 2012

    Houston Texans Re-Sign Their Long Snapper -- The Jon Weeks Game Lives!

    "Best job ever." There are certain jobs in the world of sports where we often apply those three words. I'm not talking about the highest-paying, highest-profile roles like quarterback of an NFL team, point guard of an NBA team or cleanup hitter for an MLB team. Those really are the best jobs ever. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2012

    Justice Served, Arian Foster Gets Paid (5 Years, $43.5 million)

    The details have not yet surfaced on everything the Texans have done behind the scenes in the way of reworking other players' deals in order to get Arian Foster signed to a new contract extension. We don't know what the Texans' next moves entail and just how much, if at all, the magnitude of Foster' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2012

    Go Texans: Andre Johnson & J.J. Watt Are Rodeo Parade Grand Marshals

    Houston has a "Go Texan" day every year before the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo Parade, but this year it should feature an extra "s" -- two Texans will be Grand Marshals for the downtown event. Andre Johnson and J.J. Watt will be there, the HLSR announced today. "There is no better way to celebr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2012

    The Hair Balls Super Bowl Live Blog: Remember To Piss

    In some alternate universe, the streets of Houston are currently bathed in Miller Lite, Reliant Stadium and every bar in town is a watch party, with even the homeless folks are wearing soiled Texans jerseys. But alas, our Houston Texans only made it into the second round of the playoffs, and here we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    Deontay Greenberry: A Texans-Related Grain Of Salt For College Football National Signing Day

    There was a time not too long ago when the last-minute defection of wide receiver Deontay Greenberry from my alma mater Notre Dame to the University of Houston would have sent me into a mental funk that would have taken me a week from which to recover. After all, Greenberry is a dynamic "four star ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2012

    Houston Texans Grieving Process 3.0: At Least We're Not This 49er Fan

    It's been a couple weeks, but perhaps some of you are still smarting from the Texans' loss to the Ravens ending their two-game playoff run. As I expressed from the day after that game, there are lots of ways to cope with a loss, but to me the best way is taking some semblance of pleasure in the pai ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2012

    Google Auto-Complete Answers: Why Are Texans...

    Like most people who use the monolithic search engine, I find it funny when Google tries to auto-complete our search requests, but I don't always pay attention. Let's face it, Google's system is so damn fast, I barely even noticed when "where can I find" added "tranny hookers" to the end of the sear ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 24, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Mario Must Go Edition

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2012

    Texans Offseason Blueprint: Five Moves Needed to Become AFC Favorites

    ​If Sunday's AFC championship proved anything, it's that the Texans with T.J. Yates were a legitimate threat to reach the Super Bowl. The same Ravens that the Texans so thoroughly dominated in Baltimore one week earlier (save mostly-unforced turnovers) had the title in Lee Evans's grasp and o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2012

    Houston Texans "Super Bowl Tattoo Guy" Speaks in the Aftermath of the 2011 Season

    In the aftermath of the Texans' 20-13 loss to the Ravens last Sunday, the question I was asked most frequently by my Twitter followers (other than the terms and conditions of Jacoby Jones's contract) was, "What do you think 'Texans Super Bowl Tattoo Guy' is thinking?" Truth be told, after any poten ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2012

    Two Ways to Get Over the Texans' Loss on Sunday

    I hear the Texans lost on Sunday. I say "hear" because I couldn't bear the stress of watching the playoff game, and instead spent the afternoon away from all televisions and Internet-enabled phones at a living history museum in Lafayette, where the locals were already smarting after the Saints' loss ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2012

    Mourning The Texans' Loss At The #Thurogod's Altar

    The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email it to sheaserrano@gmail. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2012

    Ravens 20, Texans 13: Historic Season Ends From Self-Inflicted Wounds

    Looking ahead to the fall, finally​In the big picture, the Texans were playing with house money. With little playoff experience and on a third-string rookie quarterback, this shouldn't rank high on the list of Houston football collapses. This wasn't the Oilers in Denver and Buffalo, circa 199 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2012

    Sunday Night: Starfucker at Fitzgerald's

    "We're sorry about your football team," said Starfucker* guitarist Ryan Biornstad to the packed crowd of college-age Houstonians at Fitz, just eight hours after the Houston Texans gracefully bowed out of its first ever playoff trip. Starfucker/STRFKR/Pyramid/Pyramidd may be from Portland but the f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2012

    The Dream Is Over: Texans' Stout Defense Can't Overcome Team's Mistakes

    There is sadness in Houston​Inspiring defense by the Houston Texans, which included a clutch goal-line stand, couldn't overcome the team's mistakes as they fell 20-13 to the Ravens Sunday. T.J. Yates threw three interceptions on passes that should never have been thrown, and Jacoby Jones disa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    Texans-Ravens: Five Keys to Pulling Off the Upset

    The lack-of-respect narrative for the T.J. Yates-era Texans may finally be changing. Of the four playoff underdogs this weekend, the Texans ( 7.5) are labeled by oddsmakers as the second-most likely to pull an upset. The only team higher, San Francisco ( 3.5), is playing at home. The newfound resp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 13, 2012

    How to Appear Knowledgeable at a Texans Gamewatch Sunday (From the Bad Advice Dept.)

    Photo by Marco TorresOh, and wear a mask.​You don't have to be a football fan to find yourself at a Houston Texans gamewatch party Sunday when they take on Baltimore. Which can be a problem, because you'll be surrounded by fanatics and you don't want to look foolish. Luckily, you can look li ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Zombies & Texans: This Week In Houston Rap Videos

    ​Ah, rappers and music videos. Some are vehicles for self-promotion, others are tools used to promote a message, a gaggle of asses or some good ol' wholesome debauchery. In the case of the Houston rap class, music videos are always eye opening glimpses into the future, either telling what a ta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Texans, Saints, Tebow and Eli! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets

    The scarcity of games on these NFL playoff weekends is a huge reason why wagering in the postseason can be a death trap of second-guessing for me. Fewer games on the board means there's way more time to focus (and, frankly, OVER-focus if there is such a thing) on the scant few games being played. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Texans 31, Bengals 10: Andre Johnson's Return Sparks Offensive Revival

    Andre Johnson was poised to assume the role of feel-good story in any Texan playoff win, regardless of how it came about. Nine seasons of brilliant play that (until now) had been overshadowed by team-wide failures can have that effect. For the first time in months, though, Houston's star receiver a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Ten Awesome Tweets Celebrating the Texans Playoff Win

    ​There's nothing like playoff victory to get the juices flowing...or the fingers typing. As with most things these days, when it happens in real life, it will be reported shortly thereafter on Twitter. When the Texans defeated the Bengals for their first ever playoff win, it came as no surpris ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend's 4 Winners and 4 Losers

    All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss most of the season. Then you rip ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2012

    JJ Watt & Pacman Jones Lead Texans To First Playoff Victory Ever

    JJ Watt's hands: Worth a number-one draft pick​A packed, loud and raucous Reliant Stadium crowd saw the highlight of rookie JJ Watt's life as the defensive lineman's incredible pick-six led the Texans to a 31-10 playoff win. Equally helping Houston's cause was Benglas corner Pacman Jones, who ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2012

    Texans-Bengals: Five Matchups to Watch, and a Prediction

    If he can dream...​The last time the city of Houston hosted an NFL playoff game -- or even had a team playing in one -- it came under very different circumstances than what will transpire Saturday afternoon. Unlike the 10-6 Texans, who slide into the playoffs on a 3-game losing streak, the 12 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2012

    Texans, Saints and Tebow! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets

    PLAYOFFS?!?!!? Oh, yeah​So is Houston ready for some playoff football? How about we go through the Reliant Stadium checklist for Saturday's game with the Bengals to find out. Notifications to season ticket holders to be in their seats 30 minutes before kickoff? Check. Colored placards in sea ... More >>

  • News

    January 5, 2012

    2011-12 Houston Press Texans Game Card

    PLAYOFFS?!?!!? Oh, yeah​So is Houston ready for some playoff football? How about we go through the Reliant Stadium checklist for Saturday's game with the Bengals to find out. Notifications to season ticket holders to be in their seats 30 minutes before kickoff? Check. Colored placards in sea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2012

    Lucky Enough to Be Going to the Texans' Game? Here's the Info You Need

    Bill Clinton had been in office only one year the last time there was an NFL playoff game in Houston. As you might have heard, there's another one coming up Saturday at 3:30 p.m. It's sold out, but if you're one of the lucky ticketholders, there's some info you need to know. -- Security will be ti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2012

    Titans 23, Texans 22: Let's Hope It Was Indeed Meaningless

    No helmet needed The Texans ended their most successful regular season with a third consecutive loss, effectively doing everything possible to dim NFL Playoff Fever in Houston. The mantra fans kept mumbling to themselves is "meaningless," which is what everyone was calling this 23-22 loss to the T ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 30, 2011

    Rape, Scandal, Greed and Cockfighting -- The 2011 Sports Year In Review

    2011: Penn State's horrible year​You know how, in the series 24, the way a season unfolds? How just when you think there has been some sort of resolution to the bad guys being bottled up, right then and there a new (often worse) layer is introduced, and ultimately in like Hour 22 Jack Bauer wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2011

    Colts 19, Texans 16: The Day The Sports Gods Reminded Houstonians To Know Our Role

    Oh, there goes gravity​For months, it seemed as though the Texans were the average Houstonian's sports salvation. Never mind the Astros' status as the worst organization in baseball and a Bud Selig-forced move to the American League after 50 years. Never mind that the Rockets, after cleverly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2011

    Panthers 28, Texans 13: Concerns Mount At QB, Kicker As Playoffs Approach

    Photos by Marco TorresRookie T.J. Yates looked very rookie-esque​The Texans are three weeks from postseason play and have rapidly intensifying concerns at quarterback and placekicker, two of the most critical playoff positions. It may not be time to panic, but a regular season that seems cert ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2011

    Football! My Texans Prediction and Other Weekend Best Bets

    Baby needs new gear...​Every year at about this time, I wind up investing several hundred dollars in various pieces of Texans gear for my two sons (ages 13 and 12, and I'm fairly certain the only two Texan fans in their Chicago-area junior high school), and while the attitude in this, the most ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2011

    The Top 10 Cookbooks of 2011: Texas Edition

    ​This is neither a list of the all-time best cookbooks of the year, nor is it a list of the best Texan cookbooks of the year. It's a combination of both. Because odds are that if you're giving a cookbook as a gift this year, it's either going to be to a fellow Texan or because you're a Texan l ... More >>

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