AL East

Bo Don't Know Shifts: Astros Manager's Defensive Shifts Rankle Pitcher

There's been a lot of nonsense coming out of the Houston Astros this week. Primarily the nonsense around the Houston Area Women's Center and a canceled gala that instead of being handled quietly saw the Astros filtering press statements through attorneys. Here's a hint, the Astros lost that PR war. ... More >>

Musicians, Music Offer Sweet Relief After a Terrible Week

Life can get pretty dreary at points, and last week was, without a doubt, the dreariest week in a long time. From the massive fertilizer-plant explosion that devastated West, Texas to the Boston Marathon bombing and everything in between, our nation faced some pretty horrific tragedies in which many ... More >>

Boston Bombing: Former New England Patriot Joe Andruzzi Was Rescuing People Yesterday

As is tradition on the third Monday every April, thousands of Bostonians and Boston visitors took the day off to celebrate Patriot's Day. On paper, Patriot's Day serves as a tribute to the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the first two battles of the Revolutionary War, but above and beyond that t ... More >>

One Man's (Idiotic?) 2013 Baseball Predictions

The major league baseball season opened up on Sunday night with the Rangers traveling to Rangers Ballpark in Arlington South to face the Astros. Most of the teams started up yesterday, and the rest of the league will get underway today. With the season getting underway, it's time once again to make ... More >>

Houston Astros 2013: Season Win Total Prediction (And Four Other MLB Season Win Total Predictions)

Maybe it's because football keeps our attention year round (what up, Ed Reed?), maybe it's because we're right in the middle of March Madness, or maybe it's just because as a city we've been beaten down by a half a decade of mediocre to bad baseball, but goddamn, this baseball season snuck up on me! ... More >>

One Man's Baseball Bucket List

The thought of baseball season is depressing for some people, primarily because the Astros are going to be so damn bad. But that doesn't bother me. I'm a baseball addict, and while the Astros will be bad, it's not really going to matter because I'll be watching baseball -- and thanks to Comcast Spor ... More >>

The Astros Will Suck, But They Do Have A Good Plan

The Houston Astros are a subject of much derision. They're a bad team with very few, if any, names on the roster recognizable to the average fan. They'll probably struggle to win 60 games. And there are national writers who think that the Astros are an embarrassment to baseball. I'm often critical ... More >>

10 Totally Played Out Wedding Songs That Will Still Pack the Dance Floor at Your Reception

Years ago, a wedding planner told me the basis of a successful wedding is remembering that primarily the ceremony is for the bride, the food is for the groom, the photos are for the family and the music is for the friends. While not 100 percent accurate, it does form the basis of a pretty successful ... More >>

Pro Football's Birthday: The Oh-So-Manly Hupmobile, A Star Named "Pudge" And Drafting Off Baseball's Heat

For an incredibly high-profile operation like the NFL, the league's beginnings are somewhat murky. A loose collection of teams, players, schedules and shifting alliances, the early days of the league bear almost no resemblance to the streamlined corporate machine that dominates the current sports l ... More >>

If You Boycotted The Astros, Would Anybody Notice? Would It Make Any Difference?

Listening to sports talk radio yesterday afternoon, I heard a caller demanding that the fans boycott the Astros. First, it's pretty evident from the lack of attendance this season that many of you are already boycotting the ballclub, but secondly, just what it is that you want the Astros to do? Thi ... More >>

The Astros Appear to Actually Have a Plan

It was quite the busy weekend for Astros GM Jeff Luhnow. He unloaded pitchers J.A. Happ, Brandon Lyon and David Carpenter on the Toronto Blue Jays on Friday, and he sent closer/clubhouse cancer Brett Myers to the Chicago White Sox on Saturday. Frankly, I'm shocked that any team in the American Lea ... More >>

Bob Davidson: Wow, MLB Actually Suspended an Umpire for Being a Jerk

I have a good friend who was a minor league umpire, so I tend to have a bit more of a sympathetic eye toward their foibles than do others. I see them as human, and I think they're doing the best job they can, most of the time. I don't think the umpires favor teams over other teams, and I think they ... More >>

Yankee Fan Mule-Kicks Drunk Red Sox Fan (w/ VIDEO)

The Red Sox-Yankee rivalry is one of the fiercest in all of team sports, a true "throw out the won-loss record" hatred, if not between the teams then certainly between the respective fan bases. That acrimony was on full display this weekend. Strangely enough, the backdrop for what you're about to s ... More >>

Dear Fox Sports Houston: Your Astros Broadcast Suck

Dear Fox Sports Houston: I realize this is your last season with the cable rights to the Houston Astros. I realize that at this time next year you'll probably be losing cable systems while justifying that Little League game you're putting on in primetime. I also realize that you're tied into Fox S ... More >>

Top 10 Worst Sports Stadiums, In Honor Of ASU's "Tampon With Wings"

This week, Arizona State University unveiled artist renderings of an overhauled Sun Devil Stadium. The project, which will eliminate some 16,000 seats and install a canopy-type roof at the circa 1958 venue, was spearheaded by new ASU athletic director Steve Patterson. (If you remember, Patterson was ... More >>

MLB: 4 Season Win Total Bets You Can Still Get Down on Before Friday Morning

Happy Major League Baseball Opening Day! Oh, what's that? You say I missed Opening Day? It was actually last night when the St. Louis Cardinals helped christen the Miami Marlins' new ball park (and new name and new uniforms and new manager and...) with a 4-1 win? Oh, I'm sorry, that was the domesti ... More >>

In Which John Royal Predicts the Winner of the 2012 World Series

The major league baseball season officially started last week when the Oakland A's and Seattle Mariners played two games in Tokyo. Most of the other teams open on Thursday, and the Astros get started on Friday when they host the Colorado Rockies. Thus, here are my predictions for this season. NATI ... More >>

Former Astro Luke Scott Hates Boston and Is Not Afraid to Tell You

Sometimes, it takes years to evaluate a trade and determine which side got the better of the deal. In 2007, when the Astros traded five players to Baltimore for shortstop Miguel Tejada, it was widely thought that the barometer for whether or not the Astros got the better of the deal would be the per ... More >>

The Year In Astros Baseball: Thank God That's Over

​So let's continue our look back at the sporting year that was 2011 by taking a look at the Top 25 events to happen to the Houston Astros. 1. They finished with the worst record in team history, which was quite the accomplishment seeing as how the Astros were pretty damn bad for most of the ... More >>

The Astros Are Heading To The Promised Land -- The American League!

Say hello to Yankee Fan​As a major league sport, baseball has always done a fairly good job of keeping itself relevant throughout the calendar year. (Football is the king of year-round relevancy. Basketball is the court jester. Baseball lies somewhere in between.) November is normally a fun b ... More >>

Wednesday Was the Best Night of Baseball Ever, and We Have Dan Shaughnessy to Thank (w/ VIDEO)

Well, they say that if you're playing in a game that matters on the final game of the season, that's all you can hope for. The Astros were playing in a game that mattered last night; unfortunately, it mattered only for the opposition. For the Astros, last night's two-hit shutout was the final kick ... More >>

Red Sox Fan Gets to Second Base (The Good Kind -- w/ VIDEO!)

Fun at the old ballpark.​Last weekend, the Boston Red Sox came into Minute Maid Park and pretty much did everything to the Astros they possibly could short of making sweet love to all of their wives and girlfriends. If you're an Astros fan, it was just another lost weekend in a litany of lost ... More >>

Comment of the Day: On Astros' Management Catering to Red Sox Fans

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Since When Is It Okay For Minute Maid Park To Be Fenway Park South?

Back in the day, even celebrities like Janine Turner couldn't be shown at Astros games if they were pulling for the opposing team​I started working with the Astrodome DiamondVision crew on opening day of the 1988 season. And I worked on that video crew, either at the Dome or at Enron Field, t ... More >>

Just Stop with the Astros to AL Talk Already

Just say no to douchebag Red Sox fans.​My twitter feed over the weekend was full up of tweets from people talking about how electric Minute Maid Park was, and about how packed it was with people just dying to see the Boston Red Sox play the Astros. And most of these people were using their tw ... More >>

Top 5 Sporting Events in Memorial Day History

Ernie Banks' immortal words used to mean something each Memorial Day.​A month from now (hell, even a second after it concludes), nobody is going to remember and/or care about the Houston Astros' Memorial Day clash with the Chicago Cubs in Wrigley Field. Overall, it's a pretty lame sports day ... More >>

Chef Chat, Part 2: Greg Lowry of VOICE

​Yesterday, we spoke with VOICE executive chef Greg Lowry about how he became a chef and the evolution of the menu under his direction. Today we talk sharks, Toque 5 dinners and molecular gastronomy. EOW: Have you recovered from the Final Four? GL: Business-wise it was fantastic, but hour-wi ... More >>

One Man's Predictions for This Baseball Season

​Believe it or not, it's time, yet again, for the Major League Baseball season to get underway. That's good news for those of us who enjoy watching the best players in baseball play the best sport ever created. That's bad news, however, for us Astros fans because, well, the Astros suck. But ... More >>

Texas Tribune Gets A Hefty New York Times Correction

The Texas Tribune: Mistakes were made​The Texas Tribune, the semi-new non-profit journalistic outfit, has been partnering with The New York Times. On Sundays, Times readers in the Lone Star State get two pages in their print edition with stories from Tribune writers. The partnership is relati ... More >>

December 9, 2013 Headline: Hunter Pence Signs With Pirates For 7 Years, $168M

Rich people making baseball decisions​Most major league baseball owners are billionaires or, at the very least, incredibly wealthy leaders of investor groups. And I'm pretty sure you have to be smart to become a billionaire (although I am admittedly very smart, and I regularly get excited whe ... More >>

Polk Street Pub's Houston Tycoon

Stirred & Shaken: Polk Street Pub's Houston Tycoon

Troy Fields​It's a strange scene when you have groups of Houstonians at a bar experiencing collective joy at the success of a Dallas-area sports team, but that's the power of New York Yankee hatred. It's stronger than love and most kinds of sexual attraction, and it's definitely more compellin ... More >>

Texas Rangers vs Yankees: Who The Hell Can You Root For?

W vs. Rudy? That's no help​The American League Championship Series, also known as the Reminder That Some Texas MLB Teams Are Still Playing, continues on.We've tried, but we can't figure out who to root for in this thing. We know who to root against -- the Rangers, and the Yankees -- but that seems ... More >>

Game Time: Roy Oswalt and Lance Berkman -- Five Thoughts

Photo by groovehouseActually enjoying a game at Minute Maid?​I know it's only three games. I know they were playing the Brewers. I know my judgment may be clouded by the fact that they actually won all three games, getting great pitching in the process. But I actually enjoyed going to an Ast ... More >>

Man U Fans Hate Houston (Or Maybe Just Us)

Take you stupidly shaped football and go home, Americans!​The MLS All-Star Game is only a day away, where the league's best will take on Manchester United, who are the New York Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys, the Notre Dame of soccer: You either love them or hate them.We decided to hate them, just be ... More >>

Game Time: George Steinbrenner's Death Raises Anxiety of Billionaires

You may be rich, but your heirs may be dangerous come December​If you're one of those people that has tried a thousand different ways to take off weight, somewhere along the way you've probably tried Bill Phillips "Body For Life" program. It's a pretty popular one because (a) it works and (b) it ... More >>

George Steinbrenner: One More Eulogy

Raise a calzone and pour out a 40 for The (Other) Boss​I hate the New York Yankees. I hate that they win all of the time. And I hate that everything that happens in baseball seems to revolve around the Yankees. I hate that the team has its own network. And that the Yankees have a seemingly endless ... More >>

Game Time: George Steinbrenner, 1930-2010

Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps?​I hated the Yankees growing up. No...I mean it, I HATED them. I hate them still now, but it's sort of a numb, latent, "I'm hating them because I'm just supposed to" kind of hate.When I was a teenager growing up in Connecticut worshiping Jim Rice, Dwight Evans, and Yaz, ... More >>

Longhorn Network: Death Knell Of The Big 12?

There was a rumor about a tumor...​Back in the 1950s, with the Dodgers relocated to Los Angeles and the Giants to San Francisco, New York City found itself with only one baseball team, the Yankees.And despite the so-called popularity of the sport, there were still only 16 major league teams. ... More >>

Rice's Anthony Rendon: Start Sucking Even Worse, Astros, In Order To Get This Guy

Photo courtesy RiceSoon to be a rich man​The Rice Owls were coasting to a pretty easy win Sunday afternoon, leading Louisiana-Lafayette 8-1 in the bottom of the eighth inning. But the Cajuns had two men on and two out when Matt Goulas sent a rocket down the third base line. Rice third baseman Anth ... More >>

Chris Johnson: Time To Move Him Up From Round Rock

A mistke...admit it. ADMIT IT​Before I go further, I first want to congratulate Houston Astros GM Ed Wade for ignoring Pat Burrell.Burrell was recently released by the Tampa Bay Rays, and over the weekend he signed a minor league contract with the San Francisco Giants. I want to congratulate Wade ... More >>

Kaz Is Gone, But The Astros Pain Endures

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherWhen the world is upside down, Kaz won't still be around​Kazuo Matsui is gone. He is no longer a Houston Astros. Things are well with the world. All of the Astros problems are solved. World Series, here they come.Okay, not really. The Astros still suck. They're goin ... More >>

How The Hell Can The Astros Be Outdrawing The Rays?

Good baseball, no trains in the ballpark​I saw the most amazing thing the other day. The Houston Astros, one of the worst teams in baseball, are outdrawing the Tampa Bay Rays, one of the best teams in baseball. And I just can't figure out why.I thought the purpose of baseball was winning baseball ... More >>

Game Time: Cinco De Mayo...Frenchies, Bye Bye-Oh!!

Mexico joins the not-so-exclusive "We kicked French ass" club​Go to any Cinco de Mayo celebration today and ask ten of the patrons what exactly they are celebrating and you're likely to get a range of answers that looks like this: -- Six drunks slurring that it's Mexico's Independence day -- Two ... More >>

Game Time: The Caballo Chronicles, Volume 2: A Look at MLB's 20 Biggest Contracts Ever

​This is my second go round living in Houston. Prior to moving back here in the summer of 2007, the last time I was an H-town resident was between 1994 and 2001. As an Astro fan, that means I was here when the Bagwell/Biggio nucleus finally broke through in 1997 and made the playoffs, I was he ... More >>

For Opening Day: Five Terrific Baseball Movies, None Of Which Star Kevin Costner

Opening Day is finally here, and we can once again try to resolve our love/hate relationship with the Houston Astros.As of this writing, they are undefeated, so -- so far, so good.Baseball, for all its problems, has long had an unbreakable hold on Americans. So have movies. So here are five great ba ... More >>

One Man's 2010 Baseball Predictions (Cover Your Eyes, Astro Fans)

​The major league baseball season officially starts this weekend with two so-called major league teams playing on Sunday night (New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox). I was going to try and do a little Astros preview for today, but they're still trying to figure out who exactly is healthy and who ... More >>

Game Time: Nomar Retires And Heads To The Place Ballplayers Go to Die.....ESPN

​I've worked several places in my lifetime, most of them in the corporate world. Easily, my favorite place I've worked is with my current employer, 1560 The Game. After watching Nomar Garciaparra's feel-good press conference this week where he announced his retirement on the heels of a one-day c ... More >>

Game Time: The Lost Speech Of Yankee GM Brian Cashman

​So the Yankees are World Champions. Yippee. Between watching Kobe tear out the Rockets' collective heart last night, and then having to flip over to Fox to watch Alex Rodriguez' post-game celebration (rehearsed in the mirror no fewer than 100 times, no doubt), November 4, 2009, will live in inf ... More >>

Game 6

Winning is easy; losing is complicated"