Who's the most important person ever? Two computer scientists wanted to figure out who the most historically significant human beings to ever walk the face of the earth were (well, since we decided to start recording things with various forms of writing). So, being computer scientists, they develop ... More >>
There's lots of alternatives to the same old same old this year.
Daniel Day-Lewis and Steven Spielberg ably fill the hat.
"There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth or something I guess..." -- Luke 13:28, A Copy Of The Bible I Swiped From A Hotel Room Hello and welcome to Hair Balls' election night live blog and comment, where tonight I will be chronicling the mania of the 2012 presidential ... More >>
I don't know about you guys, but when I looked at the crop of Republican presidential candidates about a year ago, as the media and primary wars waged on, I could only think about what they would look like jogging or working out. It's a hidden hot-button issue. Depraved, mindless people like me vote ... More >>
Today is Juneteenth, a celebration that began in Texas but has spread across the country as a celebration of black culture. It is the coolest national holiday, for five reasons: 5. The name itself Thank God it's not known as The 19th of June, or even the other proposed names, like the clunky Emanc ... More >>
If he had not been assassinated 147 years ago, Abraham Lincoln would be having a pretty good year. In an already rancorous election campaign, our 16th president remains the ideal of statesmanship, common sense and decency in the Oval Office, virtues all but alien in modern-day Washington. This Frida ... More >>
This interview was conducted via e-mail and Facebook after the author was banned from the We Survived Bush, You Will Survive Obama Facebook group for questioning the veracity of a quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln. Jef With One F: Thank you for lifting the comment ban. Lou Colagiovanni: Appare ... More >>
When I started following the popular We Survived Bush, You Will Survive Obama page I did so because I liked the sentiment it seemed to project of telling the doomsayers to breathe into a bag, pull on their big-girl panties and stop saying that the world was ending because of Obama's election. I was ... More >>
Portraying presidents on screen is always tricky. Crass imitation makes the thing look like a comedy skit, but completely ignoring the mannerisms and voice that people know doesn't work either. There have been some laughingly inept acting jobs when it comes to the 44 people who have been the countr ... More >>
Editor's Note: Please congratulate Jef With One F for breaking the record for number of colons used in a Houston Press headline. Two presidents both alike in regard and respect, in fair Internet, where we store our trailers for upcoming films featuring chief executives that combat supernatural evil ... More >>
By now you have all seen this year's Oscar nominations, released yesterday, in Beverly Hills, California. Nine films were nominated for Best Picture, including Hugo, Moneyball, War Horse, The Artist, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Help, Midnight in Paris and The Tree of Life. Fun stuff, espe ... More >>
Miley Cyrus' 19th birthday party was taped and the video revealed her admission that she is a stoner. On her 18th birthday, Cyrus was filmed smoking salvia. This upset fans, but it especially upset parents. No parent wants to see their child's Disney idol bragging about puffing the magic dr ... More >>
Red light cameras: Status back to "up in the air."A federal judge has thrown out the city's ban on red light cameras because it came from a referendum, not a charter amendment. U.S. District Judge Lynn Hughes said the changes mandated by voters last November were not valid -- they could only ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>
Abe Lincoln: Let's get rrrrready to rrrrumbleIn our continuing series of scholarly meditations on the United States Presidency, we now bring you a list of five presidents who could kick the crap out of Chuck Norris. Of note: only one of the top five served after 1908, although two honorable m ... More >>
Chester Arthur III: Gay liberation leader and sex astrologerHaving a president for a father is not easy: The roster of children born to America's chief executives is rife with alcoholics, suicides and failures. Some, of course, thrive. But still, there are oddities. Here are five (Bonus: Two ... More >>
Redford helms another dull history lesson.
Apu chose an alternate path to citizenshipThere's a scene in The American President -- Aaron Sorkin's pre-West Wing exercise in wishful liberalism -- when President Shepherd (Michael Douglas) describes America as "advanced citizenship." It's a nice thought, especially in the fantastical conte ... More >>
celebritytattoogallery.comPeople get tattoos for a number of reasons: to commemorate someone or something special, to make a statement, to remind themselves of who they are, or as a consequence of a drunken night out with friends. Whatever the motivation, tattoos always draw attention. Oh, a ... More >>
Photos by Marco TorresRap is a cultural celebration of telling, through music, what it is real today, right now; not what was real two years ago as happened on June 19, 1865 when word finally reached Galveston that President Lincoln had freed the slaves... two years previous. At midnight on ... More >>
See the story of the U.S. smashed into just 90 minutes
Photos by Marco Torres Click here for a slideshow from the concert. Aftermath had high hopes for Devin the Dude's 4/20 concert at Warehouse Live, even though we've already seen Devin at that same exact venue performing mostly the same songs. The difference is that this is a 4/20 concert. That dif ... More >>
Fort Bend is opening a new elementary, and they threw open the naming process. Three dozen suggestions came in.Some were old school: Abraham Lincoln Elementary. Honest Abe doesn't tend to get many things named after him these days outside of Illinois.Hillary Clinton Elementary? It would have ... More >>
This past week, the health-care reform debate reached an end, as the bill was passed by Congress Sunday night and signed into law by President Barack Obama on Tuesday. At stake was the health and well-being of millions of uninsured Americans who now stand to be covered by socialized governmen ... More >>
Black Box Series makes its Houston debut
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to email@example.com.Photos by Barry Dolton For thi ... More >>
This is the final post in our series of articles offering Halloween costume advice. Check out the other four entries here, here, here and here. You've been too busy to run by Frankel's, Party Boy or even Wal-Mart to start formulating your Halloween costume this year. No ideas have jumped out at yo ... More >>
If you needed any more evidence that Comcast was an agent of evil on par with Al Qaeda or whomever makes those peanut-butter-filled pretzels, look no further than the cable company's inescapable local commercials featuring Sam Houston. The former Texas President/Governor is shown engaging in a varie ... More >>
The MFAH hosts an exhibit of more than 50 photographs of the remains of black colonial sites
Stealth aims low but hits its mark
Two siblings named Lincoln and Booth battle it out in Topdog/Underdog
Medicine Show is packed with talent, youth, and charm
H.C. Westermann was the quintessential American artist
Web designer George Kalas wanted to re-fight the Civil War. Instead, he started one in his own movement.
Why is this winsome public sculpture, created by Mount Rushmore's sculptor, languishing in disrepair? And where is her arm?