Air Travel

George Bush Intercontinental Is One of the Top Hookup Spots; Who Knew?

You thought the only action you were going to see at George Bush Intercontinental Airport was from that one airport security guard who always gets a little handsy in the pat-downs, but you've got another think coming. Turns out, if you're looking to get a little lovin', IAH is the place to go, speci ... More >>

Michael Brown: Feds Accuse Former Hand Surgeon of Choking Flight Attendants, Threatening to Show His Wang

We're sure that, by now, everyone's heard the latest hijinks our favorite cocaine enthusiast and alleged anal-herpes-giver Michael "Daddy's Baby Girl" Brown has gotten himself into: Dude has busted his federal-charges cherry by allegedly choking flight attendants and threatening to get buck nekkid o ... More >>

City CM Helena Brown Never Visited Any South Korean Airlines On Publicly-Funded Trip To Asia

Houston City Council Member Helena Brown issued a press release Wednesday touting her recent trip to Asia, which she funded with $11,000 in public money, as a "successful business trip" -- but it's become clear her journey to Asia was anything but, and, in fact, completely different than the city's ... More >>

Leonard Sawyerr: Lawyer Exposes Erect Dick On Plane, Somehow Doesn't Get Laid

Apparently some pick-up lines work better than others. Showing a seatmate your erect dick and then asking if she really wants to climb over you to get out? Unsuccessful, if Leonard Sawyerr's experience is any indication. Sawyerr (the extra "r" is for stupid) was convicted today in a Houston federal ... More >>

Southwest Rolls Over United In Hobby Battle

In the end, it wasn't even close. The epic battle between Southwest and United was won by SWA, with council voting 16-1 today to allow expansion that will enable international flights out of Hobby. United flies internationally out of Bush Intercontinental, and wanted to keep that status very much ... More >>

Southwest vs. United: The Tale of the Texas Tape

This week brings another chapter in the titanic showdown between Southwest Airlines, who wants to fly international flights out of Hobby, and United Airlines, the company that flies international flights out of Bush. United knows that allowing international flights out of Hobby would be a very, ver ... More >>

Comment of the Day: United, Southwest & Loyalty

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

United vs. Southwest Deathcage Match: Your Campaign Donations Scorecard

Houston City Council is currently in an uproar over Mayor Annise Parker's tentative proposal to allow Southwest to have international flights out of Hobby Airport. Councilmembers have said the proposal is rushed and would harm United Airlines, which, of course, merged with Continental and flies int ... More >>

Hobby Airport Renovations Promise to Make Air Travel Even More Fun For The Next Year

Once you're inside, it's back to all thease and comfort of air travel​Nothing these days is as soothing, hassle-free and just plain fun as flying on a commercial airline. So the fact that starting today, repairs are going to be causing detours for the next year in traffic circulation at Hobby ... More >>

10 Songs For Pissed-Off Travelers

This spring, Austin honky-tonker and Pasadena native Dale Watson had some dates in Australia and made the mistake of booking a flight from Sydney to Melbourne on Singapore-based budget carrier Tiger Airways. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, not only did the airline charge Watson a $500 exce ... More >>

Southwest's Pilot Apologizes For Misogynist, Anti-Gay Rant

Sorry about that.​KPRC, which first broke the story, has an update: The pilot caught on an open cockpit microphone denigrating gays and flight attendants has sent out a company-wide apology letter. Captain James Taylor said he "deeply regret[s]" the remarks. "Please know that this event has ... More >>

Southwest Pilot Caught on Open Microphone: You Are Now Free to Denigrate Gays and Your Female Flight Attendants

Times haven't changed (for some).​KPRC has broken the story of a Houston-based Southwest pilot who got a little chatty without realizing his cockpit microphone was on. Air-traffic controllers were treated to a rundown on how the unnamed pilot thinks most Houston flight attendants are ugly, wi ... More >>

Final Four: Expect Airport Madness

Hopefully it won't look like this​At least one airline is telling passengers that if they hope to leave Houston tomorrow, they better get their butt to the airport early. An expected rush of Final Four evacuees -- some happy, some crushed -- could mean long lines at security, ticket counters ... More >>

Robert Wade Prince: A-Hole Passenger Gets Six Months

Robert Prince: A raft of bad ideas nets him six months​A year ago we told you about Robert Wade Butler, an Alabama man arrested at Bush Intercontinental after getting drunk and disorderly on a Continental flight home from Amsterdam. Prince not only hassled female flight attendants and passeng ... More >>

Saudi Diplomats Sue Continental for Kicking Them off Plane

Flying to the courthouse​Two Saudi Arabian diplomats have filed suit here against Continental Airlines, saying they were tossed off a flight to Houston simply because they were speaking a foreign language. The action "unnecessarily subjected [them] to humiliation, degradation and embarrassmen ... More >>

Don't Feel Turbulence

Continental Airlines Puts an End to the Free Meal...in Coach

Felix Sanchez/PR Newswire​Admit it. You knew this day would come. People have been ragging on airline food for almost as long as people have been flying in planes. And now they want you to pay for it. Yes, Continental Airlines is introducing menu-based cuisine to the skies. Beginning Octob ... More >>

Aeros Would Like To Start Making Plans, But The AHL Doesn't Have A Schedule Yet

LeBron, causing trouble again​The Houston Aeros know who they'll be playing this season. They know the date of their home opener, and they know the dates of five other home games. What they don't actually have yet, as the start of the AHL regular season draws close, is an actual schedule, and with ... More >>

Dave Chappelle and Other Memorable Celebrity Airplane Freak-Outs

Victoria Osteen: No Dave Chappelle​Because celebrities are better than regular people and therefore fly a lot, it's only natural that the friendly skies are occasionally subjected to the inexplicable fame-fueled freakout.The latest famous person to go bananas at 30,000 feet was comedian Dave ... More >>

First, They Came For My Legroom...Then They Came For My Food

​Earlier this month Houston's Continental Airlines announced that it would be improving its customer service for tall people by charging them for legroom.Today the airline announced it would be improving customer service for everybody in coach by no longer giving them free food."Continental Airlin ... More >>

Pop Rocks: "Fly, Fatass, Fly!"

Before I'm accused of size discrimination, a little source material: If you've spent even five second on the internets in the last two days, you're aware of the escalating hostilities between movie director/"person of size" Kevin Smith and Southwest Airlines. Smith, 39, originally purchased two ... More >>

Aren't You Supposed To Be Pretty Mellow Coming Back From Amsterdam?

​Robert Wade Prince, 47, is from Alabama. We have a feeling he's called "Bobby," if not "Bobby Wade."He was coming back from Amsterdam when he got a little annoyed with things, and began making a series of seriously bad decisions that ended up with him getting arrested at Bush over the weekend and ... More >>

For Continental's 75th Anniversary: Five Not-So-Great Highlights

Houston's Continental Airlines announced today it's taking delivery of a plane done up in "retro livery," which to the rest of us means an old-school paint job and decoration, to celebrate the 75th anniversary.It's "The Blue Skyway" design from 1947, in case you're interested, and was chosen by curr ... More >>

What, The Name "Death To Jews" Was Taken?

Photo courtesy Qatar AirwaysQatar Airways is making a big move in the Houston market -- it's got ads on the air touting its luxurious service, it's got a giant new 777 plying the new Houston-Doha route.One thing it's probably not doing -- advertising in Houston's Jewish Herald-Voice. Or, if they are ... More >>

Erin Andrews: Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster

Photo by speedye The competition has ended, and just like the Philadelphia Phillies putting down the upstart Tampa Bay Rays in last year's World Series, ESPN Erin Andrews' dominated her competition once again to repeat as Playboy.com's Sexiest Sportscaster. Playboy.com attempted to toughen things u ... More >>

Erin Andrews: Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster

Photo by speedye The competition has ended, and just like the Philadelphia Phillies putting down the upstart Tampa Bay Rays in last year's World Series, ESPN Erin Andrews' dominated her competition once again to repeat as Playboy.com's Sexiest Sportscaster. Playboy.com attempted to toughen things u ... More >>

The Times Finds Yet Another Annoying Thing About Houston

Houston, The New York Times has found yet another thing you do that's highly annoying.Earlier, it was our pathetic efforts at recycling. Now it's the security announcements at what it terms "the grandly named" George Bush Intercontinental Airport."I immediately start grousing about those annoying se ... More >>

Continental Wants Its Pilots to Work Harder, Fly Righter

If you're flying Continental to Mumbai in the near future, you might want to pay close attention to how rested the pilot is. Are her eyes bloodshot, or are the lids propped up with toothpicks? Or is she perhaps knocking back little pills with gallons of coffee? Well, the FAA seems a bit worried tha ... More >>

High-Speed Rail Coming To Texas, Once Again

Last week, the Houston Business Journal reported that high speed rail  is coming to Houston. At a speech at New York's Penn Station, U.S. Department of Transportation Secretary Mary Peters announced that her office will soon begin "accepting expressions of interest to finance, design, build, op ... More >>

Southwest Airlines Going All International On Us

You are now free to move about...another country?Has Southwest Airlines, the little Texas company that introduced cattle-call boarding, going all international on us?The airline announced today it's taking the first steps to offering flights to Canada, which is a country somewhere to the north of th ... More >>

Tough Month To Be A Houston Flier

October was really a tough month to be an air passenger in Houston.The federal Bureau of Transportation has released its latest survey of flight delays, and Houston plays a prominent role in it.The third-worst airline when it came to on-time arrivals was our very own Continental. Almost 19 percent o ... More >>

Southwest Adding Flights To See Obama Get His First Executive Experience

As we've noted before, Houstonians are going wild over the chance to be in DC for Barack Obama's inauguration (assuming it still goes on, after the world discovers The Truth about his birth certificate.) More proof: Southwest Airlines is adding flights to Washington just to handle the increased ... More >>

Guy Sues Continental Airlines over Fuel Surcharges

Osteen Trial: Victory For Victoria!

The Osteen Trial: Let The Feasting Begin

The Osteen Trial: Brilliant Legal Mind At Work

Scenes From The Osteen Trial: The Race Card Played

I Must Know Immediately If Beyonce and Jay-Z Are Married!

Victoria Osteen, Continental Airlines and Unmanned Drones

Verdict on the Victoria Osteen trial: Fun!

John Vanderslice

Emerald City

They Fought the Law

In Rap, You're Nothing Without a Sheet

Pretty Soon They’ll Be Using an Outboard Motor in the Hot Tub

This Just In: Rod Stewart Canceled

Scorpion on a Plane!

So Long, Friendly Skies

Up in the Air

Was this the punch line to a bad racist, homophobic joke or a dry run for a terrorist bombing?

Man's New Best Friend

In the wake of September 11, security dogs have become must-have items. Prices have skyrocketed. There aren't enough German shepherds.

Air Sic

In cargo holds or plane cabins, critters are taking more than flights of fancy

Wipe and Sniff

Air passengers will get the rub, all in the name of safety

Insider

Not Ready for Prime Time. Continental may have taught the mayor how to fly right