Subject:

Alabama Crimson Tide (Football)

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2012

    Brian Downing: Alleged Alabama Teabagger Pleads Not Guilty (w/ VIDEO)

    On the evening of January 9, 2012, the Alabama Crimson Tide beat the LSU Tigers in the BCS National Championship Game. They beat them like a drum to the tune of 21-0. The game was so lopsided that LSU amassed a grand total of 92 yards in total offense, five first downs and didn't cross midfield unti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 27, 2012

    NFL Draft 1st Round by the Numbers: Ranking High School Ratings, Conferences

    The first round of the NFL Draft is in the books, and now we spend today overanalyzing the selections the teams made last night (complete with the inane letter-grade report cards for a bunch of players that have not yet even had their first press conferences with their new teams) and preparing for t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 13, 2012

    Top 5 Liars in College Football History -- A List Dedicated to Bobby Petrino

    Fired and liars rhyme. Just sayin'. This week, Bobby Petrino, a married father of four, was canned from his gig as head football coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. As Hair Balls previously rapped about, Petrino was let go for lying about his motorcycle accident, his extramarital affair with a fello ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    Deontay Greenberry: A Texans-Related Grain Of Salt For College Football National Signing Day

    There was a time not too long ago when the last-minute defection of wide receiver Deontay Greenberry from my alma mater Notre Dame to the University of Houston would have sent me into a mental funk that would have taken me a week from which to recover. After all, Greenberry is a dynamic "four star ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2012

    5 Examples Why National Signing Day Is Overhyped Lameness

    There's the hat trick, where Mr. College Football Recruit (who often turns out to be a bust) tries to do the fake-out thing with which hat he'll put on his dome; the flip-flopper who can't make up his mind; and, if you happen to choose the Georgia Bulldogs, the token puppy. Today (a.k.a. the first ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2012

    Houston Texans Grieving Process 2.0: At Least We're Not THIS GUY in Louisiana! (w/ NSFW VIDEO)

    SEC football fans, ballin' up.​With each day, the pain of Sunday's loss to the Ravens continues to dissipate. However, it still hasn't subsided to the point where we shouldn't be taking pleasure in the acute pain of others. In fact, in the spirit of yesterday's post, the pain hasn't subsided ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2012

    Houston Texans Grieving Process 1.0: At Least We're Not in Louisiana!

    Ha-ha!​Forty-eight hours have come and gone since Sunday, and the Texans' loss to the Baltimore Ravens is still maddening and painful. How does one process the anguish coming out of a sporting event in which your team had every chance to win the game and put themselves one step away from th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2012

    Bobby Hebert Is Not a Fan of LSU Coach Les Miles's Conservative Game Plan (w/ VIDEO)

    Predictably, the BCS National Title game was, to use my good friend Jim Ross's phrase, "bowling-shoe ugly." Monday's game between Alabama and top-ranked LSU featured lots of hard hitting on defense, lots of mistakes on offense, and a few field goals. In fact, until Trent Richardson scored a touchdow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 9, 2012

    Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend's 4 Winners and 4 Losers

    All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss most of the season. Then you rip ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2012

    Landon Collins: High School Recruit Chooses Alabama and Pisses Off His Mom (w/ VIDEO)

    On Monday night, LSU will face Alabama for the second time this season for the whole ball of wax, the BCS national title. While it's unprecedented for the two teams to face each other twice in the same season on the field, they battle each other multiple times daily in the world of high school recr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2011

    The Aggies' SEC 2012 Schedule Is Out, and It's a Killer

    Get ready for some beatdowns​Welcome to the SEC, Aggies!! With every team in the nation's toughest football conference gunning to teach the Ags a lesson, the newly released 2012 schedule shows a rough road for A&M: Alabama and Auburn on the road, for starters. The Ags will also face LSU, mea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2011

    Football! Baylor-UT, NFL: This Weekend's Best Bets

    Let the Tebowing continue!​"College football is March Madness every week!" -- Bill Hancock, Executive Director of the Bowl Championship Series Ah, the battle cry of the BCS apologist. Specifically, the battle cry of the BCS executive director, Bill Hancock. It's what he and his minions tell ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2011

    Coogs Whip Tulsa, Now One Game Away from the BCS

    It's the same story that's been written six other times about the Cougars this season. Team goes on the road. Struggles in the first half. Explodes in the third quarter. Buries opposition in the fourth quarter. It's the same story, but this time it's different. This time the Cougars were vis ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2011

    Cougars and Mustangs, Orange and Sugar, BCS Comes Calling

    See pics from ESPN GameDay at UH in our slideshow. Maybe it was the stadium packed to the gills before kickoff. Maybe it was the excitement and energy of Senior Day. Maybe it was ESPN's Lee Corso letting loose with a profanity as he picked the Cougars to defeat SMU. Maybe it was the representati ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2011

    A Very Special BCS Edition of 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    For the first time in the history of my Texans fandom, their bye week left me with a palpable void. Sure, I love having NFL football in this city, even bad football is better than no football, so the bye week always feels a little weird. However, this season's team is a little different. If the Te ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2011

    Are the Cougars Really BCS-Bowl Bound? If They Don't Mess Up, Yes

    As of now, the Coogs are BCS-bowling.​I spent most of Saturday afternoon working on a post explaining the possible ways the Cougars could still make a BCS bowl even with Boise State going undefeated and taking the one guaranteed BCS bowl spot that the non-automatic qualifying conferences get. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2011

    Football! This Weekend's Best Bets

    The Flacco Factor: Always keep it in mind​It's the first weekend of football in November. In college football, this means we get into nut-cutting time, weekends that completely weed out the real championship contenders. This weekend includes a quasi-final four in the SEC with the huge LSU- Ala ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2011

    Football! This Weekend's Best Bets -- Crushing Las Vegas

    Vgeas is begging you to bet on a dog​For years, the rule in Las Vegas (because that's the only place you can wager, online wagering does not exist..cough, cough) has been that squares (wagering parlance for "Joe Q. Betting Public") bet favorites and overs a vast majority of the time. And for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2011

    Football! This Weekend's Best Bets

    It's an SEC kinda week​Time for another round of college and NFL friendly wagers. Are my selection techniques the most textbook, orthodox methods in the world? No. I mean, if I hosted a handicapping show and gave out six games and chose those games because they gave me convenient fodder to ta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Texans-Saints, Etc. -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    Big winner: James Casey​The easy fall back after Sunday's 40-33 to the New Orleans Saints is to say "Same ol' Texans," and in a way, I understand. Red zone issues, fourth quarter brain farts (23 points allowed), the untimely turnover, same ol' Texans. But I choose to look at the glass half f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2011

    This Weekend in College Football: The Coogs Should Get the Easy Win While The Owls Look to Lose Again

    The Pink Panther would probably provide tougher competition to UH than the Georgia State Panthers will​While the Rice Owls (1-1) struggle with the Baylor Bears this weekend, the Houston Cougars (3-0) will be struggling with themselves. It might seem that the Owls have the harder struggle, wha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2011

    College Football Week 1 Recap: 10 Things

    Coming up roses, again​College football is back, and probably for the first time I can remember, the feeling that the return of football brought with it more than anything else was relief. Finally, we can stop obsessing over agents, runners, tattoos, memorabilia, and Nevin Shapiro. The games ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 1, 2011

    For Texas A&M: A Guide to the SEC

    Welcome to the family, Aggies.​Earthshaking news that you might have missed if you're not a sports fan: Texas A&M is leaving the Big 12 to go to the Southeastern Conference. If you're not a sports fan, perhaps your earth has remained unshaken, but it's a monster step for the Aggies. To help ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 11, 2011

    Five Reasons Why Texas A&M Needs to Elope to the SEC

    ​Hey, Texas A&M and the Southeastern Conference: Get a room already! Then get married or whatever because this idle flirtation, which has been going on for years, is getting tired. For the past few weeks, a potential move by A&M to the SEC has become a hot topic, especially after the A&M Boar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 5, 2011

    Police Use Free Football Tickets to Capture Deadbeat Dads

    I can't believe my luck!!!​For a divorced parent, paying your child support should be one of those simple, automatic tasks each month. First and foremost, it pays to feed and clothe your children, who should be the most important people in your life (even when they're acting up in the back se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2011

    Tales of the Deplorable -- ESPN's Instant Analysis of Depth Chart Ramifications of Alabama Offensiv LIneman's Death

    In The Empire Strikes Back, you may remember a scene where Darth Vader, tired of the incompetence of the bumbling Admiral Veers, decides to go ahead and terminate him, permanently, via force choke, and immediately promote Veers' subordinate Captain Piett before they could even move Veers' body out o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2011

    Alabama Tree Killing Lunatic Is Living in His Car (w/ Guilt Admission AUDIO)

    Roll Tide: The dark side​The numbers tell us college football has never been more popular. Television ratings are healthy, rogue ticket prices for the national championship game were the highest for any major sporting event ever, and the smell of murder is in the air. No, this time around it' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2010

    College Football Bowls -- This Week's Best Bets

    The color, the pageantry of college football​Since it's Week 17 of the NFL season, we're changing it up a little bit this week. I don't know about people who actually know what they're doing when it comes to wagering, but my experience with the NFL in Week 17 is that it's a good time to stay ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2010

    NFL, College Football, Twitter, Pancake Bites and Bestiality -- Weekend's Best Bets

    A regular Paul the Octopus​So last season I did these Best Bets posts on Fridays and made every attempt to conduct myself like an actual handicapper, coming up with reams of statistics and subjective observations to lead to a conclusion that I hoped made reasonable sense. End result? A predic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 25, 2010

    NFL, College Football and Brett Favre's Wiener -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    Brett Favre can't get out of the headlines​I hope everybody had a lovely Texans bye weekend (insert lame joke about "Texans giving up fewer than 300 yards passing to BYE" here), and that you're refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for the back half of the football season. I'm on vacation this week vis ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2010

    College Football and NFL: Weekend's Best Bets (One Day Early)

    Brett Favre: Readying the "elbow tendonitis" excuse?​If you're keeping score at home, it was not a pretty week for society. In no particular order, in the last seven days, the following occurred: -- Much like the self-handling of his own Johnson (and we have the pictures to prove it), Brett Favre ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 11, 2010

    Texans-Giants, Debacle: The Sequel -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    Big Blue leaves a bruise in Houston​Driving down Murworth to the media lot on Sunday morning at around 10 a.m., if it weren't for signs directing us to various colored lots and a few orange cones, you'd have barely known there was anything going on at Reliant that day, let alone an NFL football ga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2010

    Les Miles for President (Also, 5 Winners and 5 Losers From This Weekend)

    Everyone's talking about Les Miles, and not in a good way​"In the game of life nobody -- repeat, NOBODY -- is playing with more house money than Les Miles." -- Me on Twitter just after LSU's 16-14 win over Tennessee As Homer Simpson would say, it's funny because it's true. The truly funny th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2010

    USC Trojans: They're Different From 1980s SMU How, Exactly?

    Snoop & Pete: BFFs​The Southern Methodist University football team was hit with NCAA sanctions on February 26, 1987 because of a slush-fund created to pay players. Seeing as how the Mustangs were a repeat offender -- they were already on probation for recruiting violations -- the NCAA le ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2010

    Game Time: If You Like The Texans Pick Of Kareem Jackson at #20 GIMME A HELL YEAH...Hey, Who Let All These Crickets In Here?

    ​I would have to say the NFL's taking the first round of its draft and transforming it from hardcore niche sporting event on Saturday afternoons to Must-See TV Thursday night melodrama was a success in its first year. We got plenty of shaking and moving (seven draft night trades involving firs ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2010

    Game Time: We Interrupt This Tebow Documentary For Seven Other Reasons To Watch The Senior Bowl

    ​Every year around this time, NFL prospects gather in Mobile, Alabama for the beginning of what amounts to a three-month job interview, complete with numerous forty-yard dashes, questions about their upbringing, and requests to "cough while I stick my fingers right...HERE!" It's a fascinating tim ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 22, 2010

    Game Time: NFL Conference Title Predictions...Channeling College Football

    There's no two ways about it, my NFL playoff predictions have been terrible. As I outlined on Monday, I reached a point this past weekend, after going goose eggs on the first seven games, where I picked the Jets to beat the Chargers outright merely because every rational thought and shred of evide ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2010

    Game Time: 2009 Bear Bryant Award, Chalk One Up For The Good Guys

    ​I'm not sure if any of you have noticed, but the last few weeks have not been all that kind to the perception of the college football coaching profession. If it's not Jim Leavitt getting fired from South Florida for allegedly slapping around a special teams player at halftime of a game, then it's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 14, 2010

    Game Time: Saluting College Football's Greatest Liars

    If you're into bending the truth, ignoring the truth, spitting on the truth...really any misdeed against the truth, then this has been a pretty good sports week for you. Hell, it's been a pretty good run ever since Thanksgiving when Elin either rescued Tiger from the fiery wreckage of his Escalade ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2010

    Game Time: Longhorns Come Away With "Rocky Balboa" Respect

    ​Around 10:15 PM last night, about the time the wheels started coming off the University of Texas Longhorns' run at what would have been an historical comeback, I got the following text from AT&T (verbatim, including all of the texty little abbreviations): "The AT&T All-America Player ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2010

    The Game Goes On

    Yo folks -- our Sean Pendergast (to be honest, we share him with 1560AM The Game -- is live-tweeting the UT-Bama game here. (Sample tweet: "McElroy, throw the f-ing ball, even if it's incomplete. I'm tired of watching you get sacked like a little bitch..")Our thoughts so far:a) Who the hell kidnappe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2010

    UT Would Have Won 85-21 If Colt McCoy Had Played

    How big a margin would the Horns have won by if superhuman Colt McCoy had managed to stay in the game? One can only guess. UT would probably have made Yates High look like the Marquess of Queensberry.We're guessing that's what we're going to hear from Horn fans, at any rate.UT's defense was stout; o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 6, 2010

    Game Time: Five Biggest College Football Title Game Implosions

    It's almost here. After wading through the sludge of bowl season, with just one more "go get me some popcorn" match left tonight between Troy and Central Michigan (Admit it, ninety percent of you reading this have no idea what state "Troy" is in), finally tomorrow Alabama and Texas will meet for a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2010

    Game Time: 2010 Fiesta Bowl....Thanks For Coming, TCU

    ​The winner and NEEEWWWW Intercontinental Champion...the Boise StateBRONCOS!!!-- me on Twitter last night after the Fiesta BowlFor those of you who don't get the analogy, I'll give you the back story. In professional wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment (known better by the acronym WWE) has th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2010

    Real Texans Hate The Longhorns

    ​It's an exciting time to be a Longhorn fan. If UT beats Alabama Thursday, it will mark only the second time in the team's storied history that they will be crowned college football champions while having black players on their roster.All of Texas is thrilled with the title chase, with the possibl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2009

    Game Time: Review Of ESPN's 30 For 30: The U

    Whenever people ask me what the best sporting event is that I've ever been to, the answer is always an easy one: October 15, 1988...Notre Dame 31, Miami 30. It had all the critical elements of a personal "best sporting event ever" --- Heated rivalry? Check. Brawl before the game in the tunnel? ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2009

    Game Time: Sure Thing...Betting The Opposite Of The Village Idiot

    ​If you're keeping track, you know that I've been sucking on my football picks since I started posting here at Hair Balls. My sincere hope is that all of you are doing the smart thing and running to the pay window with picks the exact opposite of mine, and laughing gleefully while doing so. I dese ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2009

    Game Time: Previewing College Football Awards Night

    ​Last night, the Rotary Lombardi Award for the top lineman in college football was given to Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. To anyone who watched him play this year, or even just watched him rag-doll and chokeslam the Texas offensive line in the Big XII championship game, Suh's winning th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2009

    Game Time: Weekend Review

    ​I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you were all able to enjoy the nice weather by moving your television and recliner into your driveway to watch football on TV.  I'd like to start off by welcoming the Texans to this new thing for them called "November".  Boys, I know in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2009

    Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And Texas Won't, Part 8

    ​We didn't watch the Longhorns this weekend, we have to admit. Subjecting the country to a prime-time match-up of UT and Missouri seemed unnecessarily cruel, but such is the heartless world we live in these days.But we're assuming two things: First, UT won, because come on, it's Missouri. And seco ... More >>

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