Alex Rodriguez

Astros Outfielder Rick Ankiel Gets A Popcorn Shower (w/ Hilarious Baseball Fan Vids)

When it comes to your Astros, it's hard to find wide sweeping bliss in a team that's 5-13 with a total payroll of $20 million (not sure if you've heard, but that's $8 million less than Alex Rodriguez makes...BWAHAHA!! Hilarious...). If the early part of the 2013 season is any indicator, it's very ... More >>

A-Rod Might Be (Okay, Probably IS) Fibbing AGAIN (w/ Steroid Denial Video Montage)

Sports is big money, and for every $100 million contract where a team sees a return on their investment and then some, it feels like there's five where a team walks away with some serious buyer's remorse if not right after the signing, certainly by the time the contract has played itself out. Of th ... More >>

Help For Hacks: A Comprehensive List Of Athletes Getting Paid More Than The Astros Entire Payroll

Comedy is a combination of hard work, creativity, timing, and -- depending on which comedians you talk to -- an ample amount of drugs may or may not be involved as well. I don't claim to be a professional comedian. Not even close. But I do think I have a decent ear for humor, an ability to discern ... More >>

One Man's (Idiotic?) 2013 Baseball Predictions

The major league baseball season opened up on Sunday night with the Rangers traveling to Rangers Ballpark in Arlington South to face the Astros. Most of the teams started up yesterday, and the rest of the league will get underway today. With the season getting underway, it's time once again to make ... More >>

PEDs: On The Differing Treatment of A-Rod and Ray Ray

There were two major non-Super Bowl related sports stories last week. They both involved big name athletes using PEDs. There was the story from our sister paper Miami New Timesinvolving Alex Rodriguez and numerous other baseball players. And there was the bizarre story with Ray Lewis and deer antler ... More >>

Roger Clemens, Steroids, and the Baseball Morality Police

There are still a lot of people upset about last week's Roger Clemens verdict. Sure, most of the people appear to be sportswriters and not actual tax-paying citizens, but that's beside the point. Sportswriter Ken Rosenthal and his baseball-reporting pals see the whole thing as a travesty of justice ... More >>

The All-Time Ultimate Astros Roster

The Astros are celebrating their 50th season in major league baseball this year. The team's going to be rolling out the throwback uniforms on Friday nights, and they'll probably find other ways to celebrate their history before making a new start of it in the American League next season. I thought ... More >>

Last Night: Dropkick Murphys At House Of Blues

Dropkick Murphys House of Blues February 28, 2012 Check out photos of last night's sold out Dropkick Murphys show at House of Blues. Everybody's Irish at a Dropkick Murphys show. Tuesday night at House of Blues, Rocks Off saw more shamrock-festooned gear and Boston Red Sox caps than should normall ... More >>

Astros' Pitching Musical Chairs -- Somehow Brandon Lyon Got A Seat

Jeff Fulchino: The latest casualty​"Fulchie's got the stuff, and he's had some success here the last couple years and we wanted him to go down and work on command of his pitches and being able to throw the ball over the strike zone with consistency," manager Brad Mills said. Okay, first thing ... More >>

One Man's Votes For The Baseball Hall of Fame

The best second baseman of the `90s​The latest class to the Baseball Hall of Fame will be announced tomorrow. This is a special year for all Astros fans as this is the first year that Jeff Bagwell is on the ballot. There's a lot of talk among the voters (and non-voters) about Bagwell this se ... More >>

5 Ways Lady Gaga Could Spice Up The Astros' Season

Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​Last Friday night, Rocks Off's favorite pop star, Lady Gaga, bum-rushed her way around Yankee Stadium during the opening game of the New York Yankees three-game homestand against crosstown rivals the New York Mets. Somehow she talked her way past secur ... More >>

Game Time: The Caballo Chronicles, Volume 2: A Look at MLB's 20 Biggest Contracts Ever

​This is my second go round living in Houston. Prior to moving back here in the summer of 2007, the last time I was an H-town resident was between 1994 and 2001. As an Astro fan, that means I was here when the Bagwell/Biggio nucleus finally broke through in 1997 and made the playoffs, I was he ... More >>

Game Time: The Definitive Sports "How To" Blog Post

​In a week that saw me have to write my eulogy to Corey Haim and on the cusp of one of the best sports weeks of the year, I'm going to use this Friday post to breathe easy a little bit and let someone else do the heavy lifting. More on this in a second....First, a couple of housecleaning items:-- ... More >>

Game Time: Cranking Up The Skank-O-Meter, Your 2009 Boggsies

​It's December 23, and thus 'tis the season of "Best Of..." lists and "[fill in noun here] of the Year" rundowns. Bonus points for any year ending in the number 9 because that means we also get (drum roll please)....DECADE LISTS!! I am a total sucker for stuff like this; it's mindless, it's pointl ... More >>

Game Time: The Lost Speech Of Yankee GM Brian Cashman

​So the Yankees are World Champions. Yippee. Between watching Kobe tear out the Rockets' collective heart last night, and then having to flip over to Fox to watch Alex Rodriguez' post-game celebration (rehearsed in the mirror no fewer than 100 times, no doubt), November 4, 2009, will live in inf ... More >>

Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp

Hard Economic Times Coming To Sports Franchises

The NHL doesn't have a team in Houston, so I'm pretty confident that most of you don't follow the league, and don't have any idea about some of the severe financial problems facing many of the southern teams.  The NHL has intervened in Phoenix in an attempt to find new ownership for the club.&n ... More >>

Miguel Tejada Connected to A-Rod's Trainer

Are the Astros about to get caught up in the Alex Rodriguez mess? Not that anybody's making a big deal about it, yet, but the New York Daily News has a big story out about a trainer Alex Rodriguez has been involved with. The trainer, from the Dominican Republic, is named Angel Presinal, and he's b ... More >>

Miguel Tejada Connected to A-Rod's Trainer

Are the Astros about to get caught up in the Alex Rodriguez mess? Not that anybody's making a big deal about it, yet, but the New York Daily News has a big story out about a trainer Alex Rodriguez has been involved with. The trainer, from the Dominican Republic, is named Angel Presinal, and he's b ... More >>

Astros Spring Training Not Without Its Ups and Downs

You might not realize this if you've only been watching ESPN or paying attention to the national sports media, but the New York Yankees aren't the only team with players reporting to spring training, and Alex Rodriguez isn't the only player in baseball. So I thought I would help out and fill you i ... More >>

Astros Spring Training Not Without Its Ups and Downs

You might not realize this if you've only been watching ESPN or paying attention to the national sports media, but the New York Yankees aren't the only team with players reporting to spring training, and Alex Rodriguez isn't the only player in baseball. So I thought I would help out and fill you i ... More >>

Miguel Tejada Offers Scant Contrition, Scurries Away Like Scalded Dog

Photo by lisaschafferphotoThere there, little soldier. Miguel Tejada faced the press yesterday and took the coward's way out. Crying and stumbling over his words, Tejada confessed his sorrow for not telling Congressional investigators that he knew of another player that took steroids. Tejada and h ... More >>

Miguel Tejada Offers Scant Contrition, Scurries Away Like Scalded Dog

Photo by lisaschafferphotoThere there, little soldier. Miguel Tejada faced the press yesterday and took the coward's way out. Crying and stumbling over his words, Tejada confessed his sorrow for not telling Congressional investigators that he knew of another player that took steroids. Tejada and h ... More >>

Miguel Tejada Expected to Plead Guilty of Perjury; A-Rod Still a Scapegoat

At ten o'clock this morning, a federal prosecutor and Miguel Tejada will appear in front of a U.S. District Court judge and a six-page criminal information will be entered before the Court. It is expected that, at that time, Tejada will plead guilty to lying before Congress. It is thought that t ... More >>

Miguel Tejada Expected to Plead Guilty of Perjury; A-Rod Still a Scapegoat

At ten o'clock this morning, a federal prosecutor and Miguel Tejada will appear in front of a U.S. District Court judge and a six-page criminal information will be entered before the Court. It is expected that, at that time, Tejada will plead guilty to lying before Congress. It is thought that t ... More >>

A-Rod's Steroid Bust: How It Really Went Down

Alex Rodriguez did an Andy Pettitte yesterday and admitted to taking steroids. Though he wasn't facing any legal jeopardy, it's probably for the best that he did this as Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield and Andy Pettitte were all able to easily go on with their careers after their admissions whereas w ... More >>

Oh, Miguel Tejada, Lying To Congress Is Not A Good Thing

The off-season has been pretty lackluster for the Houston Astros.It just got a whole lot more luster-er, but not in a good way. Their shortstop, Miguel Tejada, has been charged with lying to Congress over whether he used steroids.He had denied the allegations in 2005, saying he'd never used any perf ... More >>

A-Rod's Steroid Bust: How It Really Went Down

Alex Rodriguez did an Andy Pettitte yesterday and admitted to taking steroids. Though he wasn't facing any legal jeopardy, it's probably for the best that he did this as Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield and Andy Pettitte were all able to easily go on with their careers after their admissions whereas w ... More >>

Top Ten Reasons Roger Clemens Wasn't Invited to the Final Game at Yankee Stadium

Cue Chewbacca: Instant Replay in Baseball Begins Tomorrow (or Maybe the Next Day)

Astros-Dodgers: Extra Innings Not Enough

Get Lit: Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and the Battle to Save Baseball, by Jose Canseco

Astros-Cardinals: ‘Stros Lose Again, But It’s Not the Starting Pitching’s Fault

Astros-Padres: Michael Bourn Is Looking Good. Everyone Else, Not So Much.

Steroids and Roger Clemens, or Why Jose Canseco Is Kind of Like a Republican

Random Thoughts from a Stupendous Sunday of Sports

A-Rod Would Be Good for the Astros. Not as Good as Starting Over, But Good.

MLB Playoffs: the God Squad vs. the FSM?

John Royal’s MLB Awards: Why Wait for the World Series?

Big Baseball Weekend. Real Big.

This Could Be One Serious Tuesday. Let's Hope Purpura Doesn't Do Something Stupid.

Shouting "Fire" in a Crowded Dugout

Dear Diary

Un-American Dream

Goal! follows an immigrant's pursuit of a European fantasy

Wild Pitch

MLB 2K6 throws more chin music than strikes

Blue Monday

Louise Glück and Franz Wright keep it solemn

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Best Astro

Shallow Pop

Bernie Mac needs three more hits. He won't likely find one here.

Peace Signs

Third–generation activist Luchita Rodriguez and her friends find the missing rally bus — and a fresh, family-style fight against war in Iraq