American League (MLB)

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2014

    Country Music Time Machine: World Series Edition

    Right now Texans are in the middle of football season, and therefore even attempting to talk about any other pro sports amounts to ripping a wet fart into the wind -- unless it's the Rockets, and most of us Houstonians can't watch them on TV anyway. But in case you haven't noticed, and you probably ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2014

    CSN Houston Still Bankrupt, Still Not Coming To A TV Near You

    Presumably the bidder for CSN Houston was made to known to Comcast yesterday. Presumably, of course, because nobody will comment. An order was sought yesterday evening seeking to prevent Comcast from divulging any details regarding the potential bidder. The parties are supposed to have a status conf ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 7, 2014

    The Future is Just Over the Horizon: A Little Patience for These Astros

    This could sound a bit familiar. A respected national sports magazine does a feature on a woebegone baseball team. The team's coming back from the depths. The farm system's been rebuilt and is now the best in baseball after having invested huge amounts of time and money. The GM was hired after havin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2014

    Bud Selig Did More Than Screw The Astros, He Screwed All Of MLB

    The light's went out in Oakland's Coliseum Saturday night. The A's were hosting the Yankees and the action was delayed over 30 minutes while the lights in left field were returned to life. Problems with Oakland's park are nothing new. Locker rooms fill with sewage when there's a hard rain. The ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 26, 2014

    You Don't Need a Fancy Ballpark to Be Competitive

    The Chicago Cubs are going to do some major renovations to Wrigley Field. The team's going to spend millions of dollars on attorneys to do so, because the renovations will affect the ability of the owners of the buildings across the street from Wrigley to sell access to rooftop seats. This cost is w ... More >>

  • News

    April 17, 2014

    How Boston Is Taking Back Its Marathon

    Hall of Fame runner Bill Rodgers talks the magic of the marathon.

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2014

    With a Little Patience, Maybe the Astros Can Make Out Like Bandits on CSN Houston

    It's easy to say that Jim Crane and the Houston Astros should just agree to any deal that Comcast or the Rockets put in front of them regarding CSN Houston carriage. The only concern of most fans is that the games get on television. Nothing else matters. And the truth of the matter is, making sure t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 11, 2013

    This Weekend's Best Bets: Father-Son Oakland Raider Weed Smoking Scalpers Edition

    At this point, when it comes to my weekly picks, I've been abandoned by all my family and friends and I'm basically rubbing two sticks together in the middle of the woods. I have no answers, and if last week was the week you finally decided to go opposite of my picks because it was "the right thin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2013

    More Crippling: Albert Pujols' Plantar Fascia Tear Or Albert Pujols' Contract?

    Any general manager with a decent modicum of self awareness will tell you that sometimes the best deals are the ones you don't make. To that end, I have to assume that St. Louis Cardinals general manager John Mozeliak wakes up every day and thanks God that Albert Pujols decided to go for the under ... More >>

  • News

    July 4, 2013

    Not So Minor League: The Wild World of Minor League Baseball in Texas

    Cheap beer, affordable tickets, swanky surroundings -- what's not to like about minor and independent league baseball parks?

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2013

    San Jose Attempting to Out-Bully Bud Selig

    The city of San Jose, California filed an antitrust lawsuit against Major League Baseball last week. This doesn't concern Houston. It doesn't concern the Astros, or Jim Crane, or the Astros dwindling fan base. It is a lawsuit that has almost zero chance of success. Bu, hopefully it will do something ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 3, 2013

    Watch Grown Men (Red Sox and Yankees) Scurry Like Children During a Clap of Thunder (w/ VIDEO)

    I am putting up this brief post and (in my opinion, hilarious) embedded video a bit cautiously this morning as, believe it or not, I've already been deemed "weather insensitive" by a few people on Twitter today. At about 6:00 a.m., I tweeted some comments about storm chasers and Darwinism, and a fe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2013

    Top Five-ish Things to Do in Houston Sports This Weekend: Memorial Day Edition

    As a general rule, unless your team is in the NBA playoffs (I'd say NHL, but most of you wouldn't even know what I was talking about), this time of year can be pretty boring for sports fans. Baseball is still early in the year. There isn't the hint of football save OTAs and college sports are nearly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 24, 2013

    Musicians, Music Offer Sweet Relief After a Terrible Week

    Life can get pretty dreary at points, and last week was, without a doubt, the dreariest week in a long time. From the massive fertilizer-plant explosion that devastated West, Texas to the Boston Marathon bombing and everything in between, our nation faced some pretty horrific tragedies in which many ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2013

    Boston Bombing: Former New England Patriot Joe Andruzzi Was Rescuing People Yesterday

    As is tradition on the third Monday every April, thousands of Bostonians and Boston visitors took the day off to celebrate Patriot's Day. On paper, Patriot's Day serves as a tribute to the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the first two battles of the Revolutionary War, but above and beyond that t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 2, 2013

    One Man's (Idiotic?) 2013 Baseball Predictions

    The major league baseball season opened up on Sunday night with the Rangers traveling to Rangers Ballpark in Arlington South to face the Astros. Most of the teams started up yesterday, and the rest of the league will get underway today. With the season getting underway, it's time once again to make ... More >>

  • News

    March 28, 2013

    The Screwball Economics of Major League Baseball

    As another season begins, MLB faces an unsustainable future - and you're picking up the tab.

  • Blogs

    February 15, 2013

    The Astros Will Suck, But They Do Have A Good Plan

    The Houston Astros are a subject of much derision. They're a bad team with very few, if any, names on the roster recognizable to the average fan. They'll probably struggle to win 60 games. And there are national writers who think that the Astros are an embarrassment to baseball. I'm often critical ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2013

    Jim Crane and Charlie Finley: The Future Through The Past

    A man buys a baseball team. He alienates the fans. He trades away all of the veterans with big contracts and attempts to build a team through the farm system. There's the threat of a forced move to another league. The other owners not wanting him in their club. And the commissioner treats him like a ... More >>

  • Culture

    August 2, 2012
  • Blogs

    July 23, 2012

    The Astros Appear to Actually Have a Plan

    It was quite the busy weekend for Astros GM Jeff Luhnow. He unloaded pitchers J.A. Happ, Brandon Lyon and David Carpenter on the Toronto Blue Jays on Friday, and he sent closer/clubhouse cancer Brett Myers to the Chicago White Sox on Saturday. Frankly, I'm shocked that any team in the American Lea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2012

    Suggested Baseball Fan Behavior: An Ode to Detroit's Comerica Park

    Last week, the Press' Margaret Downing, in Detroit for the Association of Alternative Newsmedia convention, took in a Tigers game at Comerica Park. She brought a souvenir back to the office: A full-color, 60-page "A-Z Guest Guide," which basically breaks down how to be a fan in verbose and silly l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2012

    Yankee Fan Mule-Kicks Drunk Red Sox Fan (w/ VIDEO)

    The Red Sox-Yankee rivalry is one of the fiercest in all of team sports, a true "throw out the won-loss record" hatred, if not between the teams then certainly between the respective fan bases. That acrimony was on full display this weekend. Strangely enough, the backdrop for what you're about to s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 2, 2012

    In Which John Royal Predicts the Winner of the 2012 World Series

    The major league baseball season officially started last week when the Oakland A's and Seattle Mariners played two games in Tokyo. Most of the other teams open on Thursday, and the Astros get started on Friday when they host the Colorado Rockies. Thus, here are my predictions for this season. NATI ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 27, 2012

    Texas Rangers Unveil Two-Foot Long Hot Dog Covered In Everything (w/ "Making Of" VIDEO)

    Whether it's the television show Man vs Food or our fascination with the competitive eating circuit, never has the American public been more hell bent on trying to eat its collective self into a collective coma. As new and exciting food challenges at bars and restaurants drive cholesterol and heart ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2011

    Comment of the Day: The Day The Astros Died

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2011

    Worst Sports Night Ever? Texans Lose, Cards & Rangers to the Series

    You'll have to put up with Tony LaRussa's mug for awhile.​Our Houston Texans analysis will be coming later, due to some unforeseen circumstances, but in its place let us ponder how the sporting gods have toyed with us. Sure, beating the Ravens in Baltimore would have been a big upset. But the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2011

    Astros to AL with Jim Crane As Owner, Peter Gammons Says

    Hello, AL West.​Peter Gammons probably has the best sources in Major League Baseball, and he's got news: The Astros sale to Jim Crane will be approved in mid-November, and the team will switch to the American League. Gammons tweets the sale "is expected to go through," so there's some wriggle ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2011

    Wednesday Was the Best Night of Baseball Ever, and We Have Dan Shaughnessy to Thank (w/ VIDEO)

    Well, they say that if you're playing in a game that matters on the final game of the season, that's all you can hope for. The Astros were playing in a game that mattered last night; unfortunately, it mattered only for the opposition. For the Astros, last night's two-hit shutout was the final kick ... More >>

  • Film

    September 22, 2011


    Field of Statistically Knowable Dreams

  • Blogs

    July 8, 2011

    Red Sox Fan Gets to Second Base (The Good Kind -- w/ VIDEO!)

    Fun at the old ballpark.​Last weekend, the Boston Red Sox came into Minute Maid Park and pretty much did everything to the Astros they possibly could short of making sweet love to all of their wives and girlfriends. If you're an Astros fan, it was just another lost weekend in a litany of lost ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 6, 2011

    Since When Is It Okay For Minute Maid Park To Be Fenway Park South?

    Back in the day, even celebrities like Janine Turner couldn't be shown at Astros games if they were pulling for the opposing team​I started working with the Astrodome DiamondVision crew on opening day of the 1988 season. And I worked on that video crew, either at the Dome or at Enron Field, t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 4, 2011

    Just Stop with the Astros to AL Talk Already

    Just say no to douchebag Red Sox fans.​My twitter feed over the weekend was full up of tweets from people talking about how electric Minute Maid Park was, and about how packed it was with people just dying to see the Boston Red Sox play the Astros. And most of these people were using their tw ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2011

    For Vancouver: The Top 10 Sports Riots

    twitpic/Chris WaltsNot bad, Vancouver, but you got some work to do​Oh, behave, Vancouver. Last night, a number of poor sports, distraught by the Canucks' loss to the Boston Bruins in game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals, went all kung fu on the British Columbia city. By past standards, Van ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2011

    MLB Realignment -- I Want The Astros In The American League (And I'm Bright!)

    "I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb!"​Your Houston Astros lost 4-1 to the Atlanta Braves on Sunday afternoon to drop their record on the 2011 season to 24-42, the worst record in all of Major League Baseball. The Astros are a bad baseball team that is thoroughly uninteresting. As ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 13, 2011

    The Beauty of Short Hops: Or, Come Back Ken Tremendous, A Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You

    ​Author Michael Lewis wrote this book around the turn of the century that has dominated baseball discussion, for good and bad, ever since. This book, Moneyball, dealt with the efforts of Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane to field a competitive team despite not having the payroll to comp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 30, 2011

    One Man's Predictions for This Baseball Season

    ​Believe it or not, it's time, yet again, for the Major League Baseball season to get underway. That's good news for those of us who enjoy watching the best players in baseball play the best sport ever created. That's bad news, however, for us Astros fans because, well, the Astros suck. But ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2010

    Texas Rangers vs Yankees: Who The Hell Can You Root For?

    W vs. Rudy? That's no help​The American League Championship Series, also known as the Reminder That Some Texas MLB Teams Are Still Playing, continues on.We've tried, but we can't figure out who to root for in this thing. We know who to root against -- the Rangers, and the Yankees -- but that seems ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2010

    Texas Rangers: Five Things To Know About Them As They Begin The ALCS

    Thanks for the Iraq War, Rangers​If you're an Astros fan, you might be surprised to learn that the baseball season did not end back in July -- that was just when the Astros season was deemed over. Baseball has continued to be played and, for the first time ever, the Texas Rangers are within a step ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 17, 2010

    Dear Drayton: Be Like Nolan Ryan And Lower Some Prices

    This could be you, Drayton​Dear Drayton,I know that you probably don't pay any attention to anything that I say. If you did, Ed Wade would be on the unemployment line, Carlos Lee would be playing rancher fulltime, and Pedro Feliz would be playing baseball in some independent league where he belong ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 6, 2010

    Mark Cuban: With Nolan Ryan Out, It's Now Up To You To Save The Astros

    Mark Cuban: Houston needs you, desperately​My dream for the Houston Astros was destroyed very, very early on Thursday morning when Nolan Ryan and his business partner, Chuck Greenberg, won the bankruptcy bidding for the Texas Rangers. I've written before that I was hoping Ryan's bid would lose, an ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2010

    Game Time: Roy Oswalt and Lance Berkman -- Five Thoughts

    Photo by groovehouseActually enjoying a game at Minute Maid?​I know it's only three games. I know they were playing the Brewers. I know my judgment may be clouded by the fact that they actually won all three games, getting great pitching in the process. But I actually enjoyed going to an Ast ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 28, 2010

    Please, Let Mark Cuban Buy The Rangers, For The Astros' Sake

    Help us, Obi-Wan KenNolan, you're our only hope​Don't despair, Houston Astros fans. I know you're tired of bad baseball. I know you're a tired of good ol' boy Drayton and his bumbling sidekick Ed. I know you're tired of laggards like Carlos Lee and contracts wasted on the likes of Pedro Feliz. I k ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2010

    Man U Fans Hate Houston (Or Maybe Just Us)

    Take you stupidly shaped football and go home, Americans!​The MLS All-Star Game is only a day away, where the league's best will take on Manchester United, who are the New York Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys, the Notre Dame of soccer: You either love them or hate them.We decided to hate them, just be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2010

    Game Time: George Steinbrenner's Death Raises Anxiety of Billionaires

    You may be rich, but your heirs may be dangerous come December​If you're one of those people that has tried a thousand different ways to take off weight, somewhere along the way you've probably tried Bill Phillips "Body For Life" program. It's a pretty popular one because (a) it works and (b) it ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 14, 2010

    George Steinbrenner: One More Eulogy

    Raise a calzone and pour out a 40 for The (Other) Boss​I hate the New York Yankees. I hate that they win all of the time. And I hate that everything that happens in baseball seems to revolve around the Yankees. I hate that the team has its own network. And that the Yankees have a seemingly endless ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 13, 2010

    Game Time: George Steinbrenner, 1930-2010

    Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps?​I hated the Yankees growing up. No...I mean it, I HATED them. I hate them still now, but it's sort of a numb, latent, "I'm hating them because I'm just supposed to" kind of hate.When I was a teenager growing up in Connecticut worshiping Jim Rice, Dwight Evans, and Yaz, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 22, 2010

    25 Ways You Know The Astros' Season Has Become Really, Really Bad

    The new t-shirt at Minute Maid​You know the Houston Astros are a bad team when...1.  ...the only thing the team is first at is having the first pitcher in the majors to lose 10 games. Congratulations, Wandy.2.  ...Geoff Blum not only gets consistent playing time at third base, but also s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2010

    Longhorn Network: Death Knell Of The Big 12?

    There was a rumor about a tumor...​Back in the 1950s, with the Dodgers relocated to Los Angeles and the Giants to San Francisco, New York City found itself with only one baseball team, the Yankees.And despite the so-called popularity of the sport, there were still only 16 major league teams. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2010

    Rice's Anthony Rendon: Start Sucking Even Worse, Astros, In Order To Get This Guy

    Photo courtesy RiceSoon to be a rich man​The Rice Owls were coasting to a pretty easy win Sunday afternoon, leading Louisiana-Lafayette 8-1 in the bottom of the eighth inning. But the Cajuns had two men on and two out when Matt Goulas sent a rocket down the third base line. Rice third baseman Anth ... More >>

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