Andre Johnson

2013 NFL Draft, First Round: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

All right, it's Friday morning, and either you're hungover from getting destroyed by the Battle-Drink BINGO drinking card for the NFL Draft or you're mentally exhausted from sweating out all the NFL Draft prop bets I shared with you earlier this week. Either way, however shitty you feel is likely my ... More >>

The Sounds of H-Town

Cactus Music wants your help with a "Community-Curated Playlist."

All the Rappers Who Will Be Here All-Star Weekend, Part 1

Two days ago, a complete stranger calmly approached me at the airport. Her demeanor was kind, she didn't have any noticeable body odor and gave off a friendly vibe. I smirked before she started the painstaking task of carrying out small talk. "Hey, are you from here?" she asked. My brain wanted my ... More >>

Fan Fighting League! FFL Pro Bowl Brawl (w/ VIDEO)

I would guess that most fan fights at stadiums are fueled by three things: 1. Alcohol, 2. The undying, overzealous love of a fan for his team, and 3. Some modicum of disrespect. And in that order. Point being, to some degree, most fights probably have something to do with each participant's love for ... More >>

The Sports Hall of Shame, an Idea Long Overdue

A week or so ago, you may remember, I wrote a post about the auction for Bobby Petrino's crash-damaged motorcycle. The majority of the post was an outline of my idea to turn the crumpled-up love machine into a profit center by selling photo opportunities for fans to pose on the bike. At the end o ... More >>

Game Time: The Five Most Dominant Performances In A College Football Title Game

The time for talking is almost over, and tonight we'll find out if the shrinking spread on this season's BCS Title game and the last minute rush by some to the Texas Longhorn bandwagon is a harbinger of things to come. Me personally, I think Nick Saban dials up some exotic blitz packages that give ... More >>

What's It Gonna Take To Get Gary Kubiak Fired?

Photo by Mark C. Austin​Before the football season, Houston Texans owner Bob McNair supposedly said that anything short of the playoffs for the team would be unacceptable. I say supposedly because here we are, in January, at the end of another non-playoff season, and not only is Gary Kubiak still ... More >>

Game Time: At That Moment, Jerry....I Tell You, The Texans WERE A Playoff Team!

"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you Jerry at that moment I was a marine bio ... More >>

Texans 27, Dolphins 20: So Close, Yet So Far

​One game. One of two missed Kris Brown field goals. One of two Chris Brown rushing attempts from a yard out. A ridiculous Chris Brown pass on first and goal in Jacksonville. Take away any of those -- just one -- and the Texans are most likely 9-6 and controlling their own playoff destiny hea ... More >>

25 Texans Highlights Of The Decade

​As we come up on the end of the decade, I thought I would look back at some of the city's professional sports franchises and throw out some of their highlight moments. I figured I would start with the Houston Texans.1. February 18, 2002: The team's very first draft choice was in the expansion dra ... More >>

Texans 16, Rams 13: Staying Alive

​It's often noted how the difference between the 7-7 Texans and an 11-3 powerhouse is two Kris Brown kicks and two conversions of a single yard. Turns out, the difference between 7-7 and 1-13 isn't all that great, either. As the Texans seem to do in late-season road games where they're hea ... More >>

Game Time: Defining Texans Coach Gary Kubiak

​"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment... or the moment defines you." -- Roy McAvoyCertainly, I'm not asking Gary Kubiak to make like the source of the above quote and take multiple 3-wood shots over a water hazard to post a 12 on the last hole of the U.S. Open, or even do o ... More >>

Sports Things To Be Thankful For, And Not Thankful For

​It's that time of year when we start to look back at the events that have happened. And since it's Thanksgiving, I thought I would give a list of sports things for which I'm thankful, as well as listing a few of the turkeys of the year. So...1. I'm thankful for the MLB Network. The network and it ... More >>

Game Time: Stop Me If You've Heard This Before -- So The Texans Are Going To Tie The Game....

​There are certain teams around the NFL where having the national stage all to themselves -- say, on a Thursday night, Sunday night, or especially on Monday night -- is seen as just another day at the office. To teams like the Colts, Patriots, Giants, and a handful of others, the prime-time stage ... More >>

25 Things About The Texans-Titans Monday Night Match-Up

​For the second week in a row, it's homecoming week on Monday Night Football. This past Monday, it was the Baltimore Ravens returning to the place from which they came, Cleveland, to play the Browns. This coming Monday, the Tennessee Titans are returning to Houston to take on the Texans.With tha ... More >>

Game Time: Friday Broken Glass

​Just cleaning up some random broken glass in my "Blog" folder on a Friday ... Can You Guess This Team? Channeling my inner Cosmo Kramer... WHO WANTS TO HAVE SOME FUN?! Ok, well, I'm going to describe a fairly well known football team to many of you, and after I'm finished describing them, s ... More >>

At Long Last, Texans Play According to Plan

​For a franchise that has spent its entire existence searching for signs of turning a corner, the Texans on Sunday showed as many as they ever have. On the field, the Texans did what they never seem to do - win big in a game they're supposed to, routing the hapless Raiders 29-6 at Reliant St ... More >>

The Fines The Texans Should Be Handing Out

Photo by William Holtkamp​According to the Houston Chronicle, Texans defensive back Dunta Robinson was fined by the team for wearing shoes that had the words "Pay Me Rick" written on them. This was part of Robinson voicing his continued displeasure at the Texans for not paying him what he thinks h ... More >>

Playoffs? Playoffs? We Just Hope The Texans Can Win A Game

​In all of three hours, the hot topic of the 2009 Texans season might have transitioned from whether they can make the playoffs to whether they can lure Bill Cowher, Mike Shanahan or Jon Gruden as head coach come January.Remember the Texans' dynamic offense? The league's third-best unit a year ago ... More >>

Some (Few) Good Things Emerge From Texans' Monday-Night Loss

​It's never truly Texans season until there's the first Matt Schaub injury scare. This year, it came before the season even started -- when the Texans' QB ran out of bounds and turned his left ankle in Monday night's 17-10 preseason loss to the Vikings.But Schaub recovered, and so did the Texans, ... More >>

No More Bull

The past, present and future of the Texans breaking our hearts

Which Houston Team Has The Dumbest Front Office?

​Richard Justice actually had a decent blog post the other day. In it, he attempted to evaluate which of Houston's big three sports franchises was the smartest -- sorry Dynamo fans, he didn't include them because he says the team hasn't been here long enough, and I won't include them because I con ... More >>

Hey Texans -- You Can't Disappoint Us If We Don't Have High Hopes

​In our cover story this week, we take a look at the Houston Texans' brief-but-tangled history of breaking our hearts. A franchise that seems to begin each year riding on seemingly reasonable hopes of improvement consistently ends it with waves of disappointment.We also rounded up some predictions ... More >>

Never Depend On A QB Named "The Sex Cannon"

I stumbled over to the Texans website the other day, and after looking through things for a bit, I guess that I should buy my Super Bowl tickets because, if you listen to Texans employee Marc Vandermeer, this is an outstanding team at every position on the field. I especially like how he calls the s ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Texans Settle Into Mediocrity

Okay, so the Texans beat the Chicago Bears on Sunday to finish their second straight season at 8-8. That's two seasons in a row of mediocrity. Can I have a YAY TEAM! Over at the Chron, Richard Justice thinks the team is heading in the right direction and has turned the corner. He likes how G ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Texans Settle Into Mediocrity

Okay, so the Texans beat the Chicago Bears on Sunday to finish their second straight season at 8-8. That's two seasons in a row of mediocrity. Can I have a YAY TEAM! Over at the Chron, Richard Justice thinks the team is heading in the right direction and has turned the corner. He likes how G ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Hooters and Houston Texans

I'm in a Hooters in downtown Phoenix, Arizona and the Houston Texans are losing to the Oakland Raiders. And I'm the only one in the place watching the game. The requisite Redskins fans are scattered about, watching the Redskins on a majority of the TVs - really, is there any place besides Dall ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Jeff Fisher Outcoached by Gary Kubiak?

I'm a big guy - no literally, I'm 6'4", so I'm a big guy - so I can admit when I'm wrong. And I was wrong about Sunday's Texans/Titans game. And I was wrong big time. Andre Johnson had a day for the ages with 207 receiving yards and a TD. Steve Slaton rushed for over a hundred yards. The Texan ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Jeff Fisher Outcoached by Gary Kubiak?

I'm a big guy - no literally, I'm 6'4", so I'm a big guy - so I can admit when I'm wrong. And I was wrong about Sunday's Texans/Titans game. And I was wrong big time. Andre Johnson had a day for the ages with 207 receiving yards and a TD. Steve Slaton rushed for over a hundred yards. The Texan ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Were You Ready for Some Boring Football?

I can't believe I wasted over three hours of my life watching the Houston Texans last night. Sure, they won the game 30-17, but damn, that was an awful game to watch. I found the document review I was working on to be more interesting than most of that game - and you attorneys out there know that ... More >>

Ten Reasons Why the Texans Didn’t Challenge the Call on Justin McCareins’ Sideline Catch

Texans-Titans: Houston Looking a Little Better, But Not Good Enough

Hope for the Houston Texans?

Gary Kubiak and team search for their first winning season

Texans-Saints: Where’s the Andre Johnson Jersey?

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 17: Are the Texans Half Empty or Half Full of It?

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 15: Peter King is a Goober

Slideshow: Texans vs. Saints

Texans vs. Saints: Why Houston's NFL Franchise Is a Little Bit Like Ron Paul

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Nine: Getting Rid of the Hired Help, Going with the Raiders

Notes & Quotes: Wondering How God Feels about Ugly with the Houston Texans

Mail Call

Sports Columnist Smackdown

Long Snaps with Bryan Pittman: Sashimi, Indy and Ignorance

Long Snaps with Bryan Pittman: Fantasy Football, Gays in the Locker Room, Michael Bublé and Britney Spears

Madonna Shines Ray of Light on Texans

And Now, a Word or Three on the Texans

Getting Past the Nightmare

Trading Spaces: Mock Draft Version 4.0

This Better Work

Time to Grow Up

No more excuses for the Houston Texans

Like a Prayer

FrenetiCore's latest production sings praise without being preachy