"Don't worry, they died of natural causes at a farm out in East Texas," the older man says. "We raised all sorts of exotic animals out there." Mouth open, we're staring at a pair of stuffed zebras, right past the row of topless dancers flanking them. To be fair, mounted animals are surrounding us, ... More >>
Celebrating 25 years of women, drinks and zebras.
Ever had the urge to make the world's worst playlist? Perhaps you're hell-bent on torturing the passengers on a ten-hour road trip to Florida, or you just want to drive your mother-in-law batty enough that she'll jump ship and walk home. Well, just bust out these bad boys. Be careful, though. In s ... More >>
5. CAPS PIANO BAR Tuesday through Saturday, Caps Piano Bar boasts one of the best house bands in town. Jazz and blues hits from days long gone by may be the artists' favorites, but they'll happily play you some Top 40 hits, as long as you keep the tips coming. And don't worry about racking up a huge ... More >>
Mayor, police grilled on HPD beating.
Texas is loaded with natural resources, among them beautiful women. The state has provided many, many gorgeous, sexy and smart women. To be sure, not all of them combine all of those qualities -- here are tradeoffs to be made -- but still, there's been no shortage in our lifetimes of fetching Texas ... More >>
Anna Nicole Smith's court case lives onThe Anna Nicole Smith litigation, which seemingly has gone on as long as her career did, is not over yet.The U.S. Supreme Court, of all people, has decided to wade into the case and rule on whether a Houston jury made the right decision when it kept Smith fr ... More >>
It takes two hookers to get James Worthy ready for ShowtimeHouston is not a big town for sex scandals. Whether it's because we have a sophisticated European, laissez-faire attitude to such things, or because bigfoot Houstonians are better at hiding things, we don't know. Although we guess it's th ... More >>
At the outset, it looked like another Sue Sylvester-heavy episode. First, she gave Mercedes (and, less emphatically, Kurt) an ultimatum to lose weight or be dropped from the squad, then she commandeered the McKinley High auditorium for an entire week, forcing New Directions to secure a new lo ... More >>
Legendary Houston lawyer John O'quinn and an unidentified man were killed this morning when their SUV slammed into a tree off Allen Parkway. Police have not said who was driving. O'Quinn, 68, won huge settlements in mass-tort cases dealing with deadly breast implants and Big Tobacco. Recen ... More >>
It's often said that the only creatures capable of surviving a nuclear holocaust are cockroaches and Keith Richards. But Hair Balls would like to add another unkillable entity to that list: Anna Nicole Smith lawsuits.The Chron reported today the plight of Lyndal Harrington, a local blogger who was h ... More >>
A close call for a champ
World, you have waited long enough -- you are finally getting your Anna Nicole Smith opera.Britain's Royal Opera House has announced it will produce an opera based on the life of Houston's favorite stripper/golddigger/Rusty Hardin antagonist in 2011.The libretto will be written by the guy who did Je ... More >>
Okay, so it’s Friday, and we’re feeling a bit brain-dead and slap-happy. But we’ve found the perfect way to entertain – and inform – ourselves on this beautiful afternoon. Google Trends! You enter a term, and this amazing tool will list the top ten cities that have searched for it. In othe ... More >>
She’s baaaack …. It’s been quite a while since Anna Nicole Smith’s name was last mentioned in the news, but once again, the former Playboy centerfold and reality TV show star is front and center, thanks to a lawsuit filed by her mother in Harris County. On Tuesday, Virgie Arthur, a retire ... More >>
Reliving the glory of America's giant leap for mankind
In a time when Anna Nicole takes precedence over a war and American Idol collects more votes than any election, it’s doubtful Kurt Vonnegut's death will muster up more than today's front page headlines. Maybe these are just the ramblings of a bookworm from high school, but it's sad to think that ... More >>
This weekend Halliburton announced plans to move its corporate headquarters from Houston to Dubai. We here at HouStoned are unsure exactly which tack to pursue when covering this story. We could... a) wonder where the HPD mounted division is now going to find protestors to run over with its horse ... More >>
Houston really won't stay out of the national news. Sure, we've got W to thank for a lot of that, but there's also Halliburton, Enron, Anna Nicole, Lisa Nowak and Donnie Davies — in no order of importance. Now added to the list are Evander Holyfield and a Sugar Land company by the name of Cell ... More >>
TMZ reports that John "Texas" O'Quinn, lawyer for Anna Nicole Smith's mother, has collapsed in court, apparently suffering from diabetic shock. Check out the comments here for some classic Abbott and Costello bickering. — Keith Plocek You can read Rich Connelly's story on O'Quinn here.
Bill Clinton wakes 'em up, for a while, at Rice
Everyone seems to have something to say about Anna Nicole's death, but we're betting Lisa Marie Nowak can't get enough of the coverage. After all, the passing of America's favorite hussy was just about the only thing that could get a diaper-wearing Astronaut off the front pages. Case in point: The ... More >>
This little riff just came in from a friend of Brett Koshkin (in other words, he's not claiming it). This just in: Doctors have confirmed that Anna Nicole Smith died of food poisoning. Apparently she got a hold of an 80-year-old wiener.
Here's a clip of Rosie's rant against Anna Nicole hours before the former Playmate died. According to Access Hollywood, it appears the buxom bombshell might've gone the way of Jimi Hendrix. — Keith Plocek
Rosie O'Donnell's battle with foot-in-mouth disease continues. This morning on The View, a couple hours before Anna Nicole Smith's death topped the headlines, Rosie ranted: "If I have to see Anna Nicole Smith one more time on television...that woman and her paternity test...and she can hardly even ... More >>
At this point, we can be sure of two things: Anna Nicole Smith died today, and she's dead. We'll let you know more whenever we read it somewhere else. -- Keith Plocek
Get a dandy dose of queers, cross-dressers and even Anna Nicole at the Houston Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
Help E! live up to its exclamation point
But just think, no one hates TV more than Trent Lott
Susie Loucks The KIKK Chick, KIKK/95.7 FM
America, you deserve The Anna Nicole Show
Anna Nicole Smith
The solution to Houston's image problems? Spin them away.
So you know Houston's goats, heroes and high points? Think again.
When it comes to old-timers and alleged schemes, Anna Nicole's got nothing on this woman
Anna Nicole Smith fights for a fortune as her past erupts
In probate court, the sons of oilman J. Howard Marshall II air a high-stakes family feud a fight about loyalty, betrayal and whether their dad played favorites
Are We Having Fun Yet? Or is it just the jangly buzz of advanced urban stress syndrome?
The Confederate House feeds us on what Houston was -- for better and worse