Bart Simpson

Last Night: Dan Deacon at Walter's on Washington

Tasting Bluebell's New Flavors

With this Groom's Cake, I thee wed?Three flavors, which one will come out on top? Our little Texan creamery sends out rotational flavors -- each made for three months before being replaced -- alongside the year-round lineup. Sometimes old seasonal flavors make a comeback; sometimes the flavors are ... More >>

Twisp of the Tale

When C.D. Payne stopped writing ad copy, he created a revolutionary teenage hero

Sam Houston's Not The First Politician To Be In A Cheesy Ad

If you needed any more evidence that Comcast was an agent of evil on par with Al Qaeda or whomever makes those peanut-butter-filled pretzels, look no further than the cable company's inescapable local commercials featuring Sam Houston. The former Texas President/Governor is shown engaging in a varie ... More >>

First, There Was a Mountain

Brash and bashful, Hugh Grant stars in yet another fey English tale, this one with a twist

Oprah Does Amarillo

It's the Queen of Talk versus the Meat Men, and outside the courtroom, master media manipulator Winfrey is already the clear winner.

Exodus Lost

Prince of Egypt goes wrong with Good Book rewrites

Ay, Caramba!

Mythical euphemisms and Hispanic panhandlers

Why Do Mexicans Take So Long To Warm Up Their Cars

Mythical euphemisms and Hispanic panhandlers

Low-Rent Scoundrels

This Broadway show is a fun piece of fluff

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Wack's Very Special Holiday Music Guide

So, Did You Hear the One About the Funny Muslim?

Wack's Very Special Holiday Music Guide

Signs of Faith

Mel Gibson has a close encounter with God -- or just a mean E.T.

Third Coast Roast

Let's rap about...black music

Game Time: Texans Battle Titans Tonight In The Most Important Athletic Event In Our's Nation's History

​Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together." -- Kent Brockman, Channel 6, Springfield (The Simpsons)If you are wondering what "this" was in that quote, it was the Bart Simpso ... More >>

Tera Trevino Will Bring Friendswood's Low-Rider Culture To A Shocked America

Not the Wife Swap you see on ABC​Remember Nelson Muntz coming out of Naked Lunch with Bart Simpson et al? "I can think of at least two things wrong with that title," he says.That's the general sense viewers of ABC's Wife Swap get. The show is titillating only if you're turned on by whiny, self-ob ... More >>

The Five Best Halloween Warnings Forwarded By Frantic Moms

FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!!​Oooooo -- Halloween!! So scary for young kids!!And for adults who insist on forwarding every e-mail from some AOL account carrying dire warnings of Halloween horror.Our five favorites:5. That candy has crystal meth!!Subject: HALLOWEEN WARNINGHALLOWEEN ... More >>

What Does Batman Have To Do With "Jingle Bells"?

somethingawful.com​Jingle Bells! Batman smells Robin laid an egg. Batmobile lost a wheel And the Joker got away. Everyone has heard this parody of "Jingle Bells." In fact, for a couple of years Rocks off had recited this version so many times that when called upon to sing the original ve ... More >>

For Anthony Weiner, Eight Awkward Dongs From The Movies (NSFW)

Did not make the cut.​In my review of The Hangover Part II, I made a comment about the seeming preponderance of male genitalia on the big screen lately. The phenomenon has been limited primarily to comedies because, let's face it, penises are pretty damn funny looking. Judging by that screeni ... More >>

Friday Night: Katy Perry At Toyota Center

Photos by Marc Brubaker​Katy Perry, Robyn Toyota Center July 29, 2011 See more teenage dream photos in our slideshow. As the current crop of glittery female pop-stars goes, Katy Perry is not as tragic as Britney Spears, less serious and arty than Lady Gaga, not as hedonistic as Ke$ha, and a ... More >>

10 Popular Rappers' Disney Alter Egos

Watch The Throne.​Were you ever mildly attracted to Jafar in the Disney movie Aladdin? We were, probably because he reminded us so much of Prince. So, needless to say, Rocks Off is pretty stoked that Disney is bringing back some of our beloved iconic villains-like Jafar and Scar-to 3-D. We' ... More >>