Bart Simpson

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2013

    UPDATED: Tera Melos, TTNG and LIMB at Fitzgerald's, 5/16/2013

    UPDATE: Rocks Off incorrectly identified the former By the End of Tonight member now performng as LIMB as Jeff Wilson, not James Templeton. Our apologies to LIMB. Tera Melos, TTNG, LIMB Fitzgerald's May 16, 2013 It's unusual to walk into a show where majority of the crowd is under legal drinking a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 7, 2012

    Summing Up the 2012 VMAs In One Awkward Photo

    By the time you finish this sentence, the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards will have been over for more than 12 hours (unless they're still killing you with that damn endless loop). Your brain will have turned to mush, your Twitter and dFacebook timelines slowly rebuilding themselves from ash and your co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 24, 2012

    Olympic Logos: The Best and the Worst, Including Lisa Simpson's Sex Act

    Heh. Lisa Simpson is giving Bart Simpson a hummer in the London 2012 Olympic logo. Uh, we mean aren't you stoked for the 17 days of glory that commences on July 27 in the United Kingdom, especially with a logo that cost £400,000 (approximately $621,000)? That's right. All of that freaking money f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 8, 2012

    Gator Gum and 7 Other Discontinued Snacks That I Wish Were Still Around

    Remember Gatorgum? No, it's not a gum disease caused by the disgustingly sweet nature of Tim Tebow that has been crippling the entire female population ever since the QB's time back at the University of Florida (although that's not a bad name for the Tebow hysteria is it?). It's the Gatorade brand ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2011

    Dude Looks Like a Lady: Hottest Movie Cross-Dressers

    Glenn Close is finally getting her dream of playing a man on the big screen. Her upcoming movie Albert Nobbs, now slated for wide release on January 27, features Close portraying a woman who dresses as a man in 19th-century Ireland in order to get a job as a butler. This has been a passion project o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2011

    10 Popular Rappers' Disney Alter Egos

    Watch The Throne.​Were you ever mildly attracted to Jafar in the Disney movie Aladdin? We were, probably because he reminded us so much of Prince. So, needless to say, Rocks Off is pretty stoked that Disney is bringing back some of our beloved iconic villains-like Jafar and Scar-to 3-D. We' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2011

    Friday Night: Katy Perry At Toyota Center

    Photos by Marc Brubaker​Katy Perry, Robyn Toyota Center July 29, 2011 See more teenage dream photos in our slideshow. As the current crop of glittery female pop-stars goes, Katy Perry is not as tragic as Britney Spears, less serious and arty than Lady Gaga, not as hedonistic as Ke$ha, and a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2011

    For Anthony Weiner, Eight Awkward Dongs From The Movies (NSFW)

    Did not make the cut.​In my review of The Hangover Part II, I made a comment about the seeming preponderance of male genitalia on the big screen lately. The phenomenon has been limited primarily to comedies because, let's face it, penises are pretty damn funny looking. Judging by that screeni ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2010

    What Does Batman Have To Do With "Jingle Bells"?​Jingle Bells! Batman smells Robin laid an egg. Batmobile lost a wheel And the Joker got away. Everyone has heard this parody of "Jingle Bells." In fact, for a couple of years Rocks off had recited this version so many times that when called upon to sing the original ve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2010

    The Five Best Halloween Warnings Forwarded By Frantic Moms

    FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!!​Oooooo -- Halloween!! So scary for young kids!!And for adults who insist on forwarding every e-mail from some AOL account carrying dire warnings of Halloween horror.Our five favorites:5. That candy has crystal meth!!Subject: HALLOWEEN WARNINGHALLOWEEN ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2010

    Tera Trevino Will Bring Friendswood's Low-Rider Culture To A Shocked America

    Not the Wife Swap you see on ABC​Remember Nelson Muntz coming out of Naked Lunch with Bart Simpson et al? "I can think of at least two things wrong with that title," he says.That's the general sense viewers of ABC's Wife Swap get. The show is titillating only if you're turned on by whiny, self-ob ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 23, 2009

    Game Time: Texans Battle Titans Tonight In The Most Important Athletic Event In Our's Nation's History

    ​Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together." -- Kent Brockman, Channel 6, Springfield (The Simpsons)If you are wondering what "this" was in that quote, it was the Bart Simpso ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 1, 2009

    Tasting Bluebell's New Flavors

    With this Groom's Cake, I thee wed?Three flavors, which one will come out on top? Our little Texan creamery sends out rotational flavors -- each made for three months before being replaced -- alongside the year-round lineup. Sometimes old seasonal flavors make a comeback; sometimes the flavors are ... More >>

  • Culture

    April 9, 2009

    Ay, Caramba!

    Mythical euphemisms and Hispanic panhandlers

  • Culture

    January 29, 2009
  • Blogs

    December 1, 2008

    Sam Houston's Not The First Politician To Be In A Cheesy Ad

    If you needed any more evidence that Comcast was an agent of evil on par with Al Qaeda or whomever makes those peanut-butter-filled pretzels, look no further than the cable company's inescapable local commercials featuring Sam Houston. The former Texas President/Governor is shown engaging in a varie ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 25, 2007

    Last Night: Dan Deacon at Walter's on Washington

    Dan Deacon Walter’s on Washington September 24, 2007 Better Than: Just about anything else you might find yourself doing at 10:30 p.m. on a Monday. Download: “The Crystal Cat,” from Deacon’s Myspace Page. Along with several other songs (not available for download) and a bunch of immensely ... More >>

  • Culture

    September 28, 2006

    Low-Rent Scoundrels

    This Broadway show is a fun piece of fluff

  • Music

    December 8, 2005

    Do You Hear What I Hear?

    Wack's Very Special Holiday Music Guide

  • News

    April 15, 2004
  • Film

    August 1, 2002

    Signs of Faith

    Mel Gibson has a close encounter with God -- or just a mean E.T.

  • Culture

    December 21, 2000

    Twisp of the Tale

    When C.D. Payne stopped writing ad copy, he created a revolutionary teenage hero

  • Music

    October 21, 1999

    Third Coast Roast

    Let's rap music

  • Film

    December 17, 1998

    Exodus Lost

    Prince of Egypt goes wrong with Good Book rewrites

  • News

    February 12, 1998

    Oprah Does Amarillo

    It's the Queen of Talk versus the Meat Men, and outside the courtroom, master media manipulator Winfrey is already the clear winner.

  • Film

    May 18, 1995

    First, There Was a Mountain

    Brash and bashful, Hugh Grant stars in yet another fey English tale, this one with a twist