• Blogs

    September 18, 2014

    The Rocks Off 200: We Were Wolves, Howlers at the Moon Tower

    Welcome to The Rocks Off 200, our portrait gallery of the most compelling profiles and personalities in the far-flung Houston music community -- a lot more than just musicians, but of course they're in there too. See previous entries in the Rocks Off 100 at this link. Who? This here digital chat wi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 19, 2014

    H-Town to Boomtown: Beaumont Has a Music Festival Too

    The 2014 music festival season is kicking into gear, with Free Press Summer Fest announcing its lineup last week. The rundown features at least a half-dozen acts coming right from Coachella, which announced last month, and probably at least a few who will be performing at Bonnaroo, which announces t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2014

    Gun Toting Banana Man Detained, Actually Working for a Local Gun Store

    Whenever I'm driving along the road and I see some poor sucker in a weird costume, particularly on a sweltering August day, I feel a little bad for him. No way that guy is getting good money despite having arguably the most ridiculous job you could get. I always try to wave to the poor bastard becau ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 21, 2013

    The Slapstick, Gonzo Style of Five Modern-Day One-Man Bands

    LINCOLN DURHAM Anything goes should have been the catchphrase for one of the most unpredictable one-man bands around, Lincoln Durham. He might throw in occasional odes to girls named Clementine and shed a little ever-loving light, but it definitely isn't in an old-fashioned gospel kind of way. He p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2013

    COPS Will Soon Be Filming Mulleted Ne'er Do Wells in Beaumont

    If you've ever been jealous of the (alleged) perps on "COPS," resplendent in their beer-soaked wife-beaters and mullets, shouting about how that crack rock in their back pocket wasn't really theirs because those really aren't their pants, as they're forced to the ground in front of their trailer whi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2013

    Great Egret Found Walking Around Front Yards With An Arrow In It

    Great Egrets can be distinguished by their yellow bills and black legs and feet. And in Beaumont, they sometimes can be distinguished by the arrow sticking out of them as they wander through neighborhoods. Beaumont police say they received a call last week that a large white bird that "was going f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 11, 2013

    Morrissey Once Again Postpones Jefferson Theatre Gig

    On Friday night, Morrissey fans learned that the former Smiths front man and bard of the morose had yet again postponed his gig at Beaumont's Jefferson Theatre. This show had been highly anticipated, for the relatively out of the way venue and the fact that the man hasn't played in this region sin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 14, 2013

    Man Who Bit Off Woman's Ear in Beaumont Probably Not Mike Tyson

    Some days just don't go the way you want. There you are, in line at a convenience store, minding your own business, just trying to buy some Skittles and beef jerky, and out of nowhere, some dude sneaks up behind you and bites your damn ear off! You'd be surprised at how often that happens in East Te ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 29, 2012

    Crustacean Combat Sends Two Beaumont Women (Ages 70, 23) to Hospital with Gunshot Wounds

    Initial reports out of the Golden Triangle said that two women -- one 70, and the other 23, neither identified -- were shot during the course of a heated argument about crawfish. Those reports were incorrect. In actual fact, the women apparently shot each other over shrimp. Now that's Gulf Coas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2012

    Road Trip? Morrissey Coming To Beaumont, Not Houston, In December

    Later this year Texas will once again be graced by the presence of former Smiths frontman and cult icon Morrissey, who is embarking on a shortish U.S. tour. The frequently controversial crooner and vegetarian hero is hitting all the major cities in the Lone Star State, like Pharr...and Wichita Fal ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2012

    Comment of the Day: She Got Her Mother's Day Gift

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 6, 2012

    Pay No Attention To The Amazing Car Crash Happening Live On Our Camera, Please

    When news breaks....​A reporter needs a nose for news. Sometimes, though, that nose is stuffed. This isn't the highest-quality video, but it does show what was airing at KFDM during the recent bad weather. The station tapped into one of Beaumont's live-action traffic cams, while a reporter t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2011

    U Can't Sing This: When Office-Party Karaoke Goes Very, Very Wrong

    Label this video Exhibit A​Via our pals at the Bayou, we have found slam-dunk evidence that it is always a bad idea to participate in karaoke at your office Christmas party. A clip of a Beaumont party includes what might be the world's worst rendition of "U Can't Touch This," and that is a ve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 20, 2011

    Sex Equality in the Workplace: Not in Texas

    All things not being equal....​If you're looking for cities where women are not treated equally in the workplace, welcome to Texas, according to a report by US News & World Report. They've ranked cities all across the country on gender equality, and four of the bottom ten are in the Lone Star ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Tattoo Logic

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2011

    YouTubed Beaumont Catfights Freak Texas the F Out

    The Southeast Texas portion of the Internet is a-crackle with a report out of Beaumont about fight videos produced by their local youth, some of them shot at area high schools with teenage bystanders egging on the participants. What seems to shock the writers of these stories the most is that many ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2010

    The Jerk Church Called: They're Running Out Of You

    The meek shall inherit the earth, whilst calling people "jerks"​Commuters in Beaumont are, unwittingly or not, taking part in a bold new experiment in church advertising: The "You're a Jerk!" school of theology.

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2010

    Nick Kosir: The Rapping Weatherman's San Francisco Gig Is Over

    All of Houston has been following semi-breathlessly the sage of rapping weatherman Nick Kosir who has either appalled or entertained viewers (in Beaumont and on YouTube) with his white-man-raps schtick.He seemingly rode his talent to the big time -- San Francisco, which is a hell of a lot better TV ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2010

    BREAKING & URGENT: Rapping Weatherman Will Not Rap At New SF Gig

    Nick Kosir's rapping career is KIA​The day Kurt Cobain ended it all. The afternoon Paul McCartney sued his fellow Beatles. The first time NKOTB broke up.All of those could be called The Days The Music Died, but they pale in comparison to the news that comes from our sister paper SF Weekly: Beaumon ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2010

    Prisoners Still Can't Get No Relief from Courts, Rita

    ​In the end, it wasn't about how awful the conditions were for inmates trapped inside a Beaumont federal prison during Hurricane Rita. To the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, it was all about jurisdiction. Two years ago, more than 400 former and current inmates sued the U.S. government, claimin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2010

    A Side Lover's Lament

    ilovememphis​Stop right there before you head down to comment land at the bottom of the page and write, "You don't go to barbecue restaurants for the sides." Don't even think of writing that -- it's just a dumb thing to say. If barbecue restaurants don't want to be judged on their sides, then ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2010

    Spineshank: Nu-Metal Group Saved By Texas' Judicial System

    ​You're big fans of Spineshank, the California nu-metal group, right? Who isn't?Well, us. But it's only because we haven't heard the albums Self-Destructive Pattern or Strictly Diesel, or the songs "Smothered" and "New Disease." We're sure we'd jump on the Spineshank bandwagon if we did.But Spines ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 20, 2010

    Apparently The Noid Was Unavailable for Questioning

    No one can tell when a hot wing jones will overcome them. You might be sitting on the couch, watching a Saved by the Bell marathon, when bam, you get the fierce craving for spicy Buffalo goodness. When we've been broke and this happened, we've done some crazy things, like pour ranch sauce on our fin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 9, 2010

    A Street Tale: The $15,000 Condom

    ​Around noon on February 11, an unidentified Beaumont man -- a horny one, by the sound of this report -- was patrolling the city's southside streets in his SUV, looking for action.He found it in the form of 26-year-old Renee Denise Stoker, who likely didn't advertise the fact that she had been arr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 7, 2010

    Sarah Vowell Comes To Beaumont (Of All Places)

    ​Something about the idea of Sarah Vowell, that This American Life star, regular NPR contributor, droll historian, frequent Jon Stewart foil, voice of Violet of The Incredibles and all around Person Who White People Like coming to Beaumont was utterly irresistible.It seemed like the exact inverse ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 23, 2010

    A Playoff Victory For The Ages, Or For The Want Of A Good Travel Agent A Championship Was Lost

    ​As fans travel to Houston for the NCAA regionals, they can only hope their favorite team shows as much spunk, as much desire, as much can-do spirit as Beaumont's Southeast Texas Mavericks.The Mavericks are part of the American Basketball Association (suggested slogan: "Not the ABA You're Thinking ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 12, 2010

    In Ongoing Bat Invasion Of Texas, Terrifying New Theaters Of War Opened

    ​Two weeks ago today, in an nearly all-but-exclusive report, Hair Balls broke the story of the ongoing bat invasion of Texas schools and courthouses.At the time, the winged mammals had seized control of two schools in Clear Lake and one each in Chambers and Matagorda counties. They had also staked ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2010

    In Other News, There's A Job Opening

    ​ Once again, the Bayou blog -- a must-read for all your Golden Triangle weirdness -- comes through.This is a screen capture of Beaumont's Fox 4 web page, which features news headlines and a "Job of the Day."We can only say that they move quickly in Beaumont.

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2009

    Today's Forecast: Cloudy With A Chance Of God-Awful Rap

    We have seen some white rappers in our time. But they don't come much whiter than Nick Kosir, morning weatherman on Beaumont's Fox station. This apparently is Kosir's third rap weathercast (Follow his tweets where he pimps himself heavily here.) It's about on the level of some slightly tipsy Junior ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2009

    It's A Joyful Gun-Shop Christmas In Beaumont

    The ultimate Texas Christmas song comes to us from JJ's Pawn in Beaumont (hat tip to the Bayou blog).It's not the sterling production values that make this a winner, it's the True Spirit of Christmas that shines through as the sales staff, standing in front of what seems like a militia armory, offer ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2009

    Aftermath: We Were Wolves and Satin Hooks, Born to Be Wild at the Mink

    Photos by Chris Gray​ It's been false-starting for a couple of years, but that grunge revival may be right around the corner - if it ever went anywhere in the first place. Beaumont's We Were Wolves plugged into the Mudhoney machine at the Mink Tuesday night, crafting sludgy sheets of guitar noise ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2009

    This Just In: A Wiffle-Ball Bat Is Not A Deadly Weapon

    Partying in Beaumont -- does it get any better? The smoky industrial fumes, the Golden Triangle aura, the knowledge that at any moment you could up and visit the Babe Didrikson Zaharias Museum if you wanted to: It's what makes life in Beaumont so good.As long as you keep the Wiffle-Ball Bats safely ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 2, 2009

    They Don't Make Cop Concerts Like They Used To In Beaumont

    Via Bayou, the Beaumont Enterprise's lively blog, we got directed to an old posting on the Octane Radio Network.And let's just say -- they don't make police concerts like they used to. In 1957 -- when Rock and Roll was still the Devil's Music -- the Beaumont cops bring in Johnny Cash and Jerry Lee ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2008

    Prisoners In Beaumont Federal Pen Sue Over Work Conditions

    Earlier this year, we brought you the story of the hundreds of inmates at the maximum-security federal penitentiary in Beaumont who sued the U.S. government claiming officials did not evacuate them during Hurricane Rita and thereby forced them to endure inhumane, medieval conditions. While that lega ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2008

    Flooded-Prison Lawsuit Moved Back to Texas

    A lawsuit originally filed in Washington, D.C. accusing the federal Bureau of Prisons of refusing to evacuate prisoners jailed in Beaumont during Hurricane Rita is coming home to Texas. And that's not necessarily a good thing for the plaintiffs. More than 400 current and former inmates at the Unit ... More >>

  • Calendar

    November 29, 2007

    Art of Beer

    The Art Museum of Southeast Texas hosts its own Oktoberfest

  • Music

    August 2, 2007

    Calvin Owens Orchestra, Barbara Lynn, Evelyn Rubio, Pete Mayes, Rue Davis, Tweed Smith

    The Calvin Owens Orchestra and special guests perform 9 p.m. Saturday, August 4, at the Howling Coyote, 6536 FM 1960 West, 281-444-3401.

  • Blogs

    July 20, 2007

    People Are Talking About Coins. And Beaumont. And Us.

    Various message boards are filling up with spirited comments from coin hobbyists regarding this week’s feature story on several related Beaumont-based coin companies accused of using aggressive tactics to defraud customers out of millions. You can follow the thread or add your two cents here. – ... More >>

  • News

    July 19, 2007

    Heads You Lose, Tails You Lose: Lie, Puke and Say No

    Coin brokers are taught that customers aren't trustworthy

  • News

    July 19, 2007

    Texas coin companies target elderly investors

    Heads you lose, tails you lose

  • Blogs

    July 18, 2007

    Cover Story: Heads You Lose, Tails You Lose

    You’ve probably seen the ads for rare coins, maybe while waiting to get a cavity filled. They run in stodgy mainstream pubs such as Time, Newsweek and U.S. News & World Report. If you looked closely, you saw at the bottom of the page, in itty-bitty type, a disclosure: “We may contact you from ti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2007

    Keep the Chain

    Daniel Kramer Maybe next time. Last week's cover story on the goings-on at Ozen High School presented me with a unique fringe benefit: my very own hip-hop chain. Our art director Monica Fuentes had it made for the cover shoot, and after all the flicks were clicked, she dangled it before me and s ... More >>

  • Best of Houston

    September 28, 2006


    Despite natural disasters and failed marriages, this seafood joint lives on

  • News

    August 24, 2006

    $50K Between Friends

    A donation stirs things up at LULAC

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2006

    The Grim Sweepers

    USA Decon "This headband totally covers my bald spot." The drive to Beaumont took more than an hour, and I thought about death the entire time. These weren't your run-of-the-mill musings on mortality (although that would've been very alliterative of me). I was on the way to meet the guys of USA ... More >>

  • News

    July 13, 2006

    Crab Man

    Meet Doug Sartin, onetime heir apparent to a Texas barbecued crab dynasty

  • Dining

    March 23, 2006
  • Calendar

    November 13, 2003

    Monster Trucks on Ice

    What would Brian Boitano think?

  • Best of Houston

    September 26, 2002

    Best Bathroom for Bowser

    Fire Museum of Texas

  • Music

    April 23, 1998
  • More >>