Bill Brown

What's Japanese for F***? Astros Announcers Suggest Yu Darvish Might Learn English Obscenities After Blown Perfect Game

With one out left in the ninth inning and Yu Darvish set to become just the 24th pitcher in MLB history to pitch a perfect game, someone named Marwin Gonzalez stepped to the plate and drilled a single right through the legs (and heart) of Darvish. There were certainly mixed reactions from fans on ha ... More >>

Whoever They Hire, The New Astros Radio Broadcasters Have Their Work Cut Out For Them

The Astros television broadcast booth was finalized last week. Bill Brown will return at the primary play-by-play voice. Alan Ashby will be the primary color analyst. When Brown doesn't work (he's doing a reduced schedule this season), then Ashby will do the play-by-play and he'll be joined in the b ... More >>

25 Ways to Replace Jim Deshaies; You're Welcome, Astros!

As you know by now, Jim Deshaies has left the Astros, and is joining the Chicago Cubs broadcasting crew. In many ways, that's like making the jump from AAA to the majors since WGN is seen nationally while Comcast Sports Net Houston is seen just about nowhere. Now with Deshaies gone, the Astros are h ... More >>

Astros Dismantling Continues As Color Man Deshaies Leaves for Chicago

Since 1997, the television voices of the Houston Astros, Bill Brown and Jim Deshaies, have been about as good as you can possibly get in baseball, or any sport, for that matter. Brown's dry delivery made the perfect set-up man for Deshaies's wit and insight. They pair was a match made in broadcast h ... More >>

Teen Wanted To Shoot Up Katy School

Wow, Brett Dolan And Dave Raymond Fired By The Astros. Who's Next?

I feel that I owe an apology to Brett Dolan and Dave Raymond. It took me a few years before I accepted them as members of the Astros radio crew. Mostly that was due to my affection for Alan Ashby, who was unfairly forced out of the booth. Once I got in tune with them, I liked them. They knew their ... More >>

Tonight: The End Of An Astros Era (Last Chance To See National League, Old Uniforms, Bill Brown, Etc.)

For many, the end of this year's Houston Astro season -- much like last year's Astro season -- could not come soon enough. There are only so many 100-loss campaigns even the most diehard fans can be expected to endure, after all. (In case you are keeping score at home, the Astros are 42 and a half ... More >>

Surely Bill Brown Will Still Broadcast Astros Games Next Season. Right? Right?

Last week the Houston Astros attempted to give us Weekend at Bernie's involving Joe Niekro. Then they misspelled Jim Deshaies' name in the post about Niekro. And in wake of the erector-set billboards blocking the views in left field, one can only wonder what the Astros are going to botch next. What ... More >>

What, Larry Dierker Wants To Come Back? Then What Are The Astros Waiting For?

You've probably checked out on the Astros already, at least you have judging by the attendance. But the Astros are busy making preparations for next season in hopes that they'll be able to grab your attention and get you back out to the ballpark. They've fired most of the front office staff, and th ... More >>

10 Suggestions For Improving the Poorly Ranked Astros Radio Broadcasts

Baseball blog and stats-geek delight Fangraphs did a little post over the weekend ranking the radio broadcasts of the 30 major league teams (h/t to Crawfish Boxes). There's nothing really shocking in the rankings, unless you count the Astros radio broadcast team only finishing at number 23 -- they'r ... More >>

Comment of the Day: The Only Good Thing About Astros Broadcasts

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

Dear Fox Sports Houston: Your Astros Broadcast Suck

Dear Fox Sports Houston: I realize this is your last season with the cable rights to the Houston Astros. I realize that at this time next year you'll probably be losing cable systems while justifying that Little League game you're putting on in primetime. I also realize that you're tied into Fox S ... More >>

25 Positive Thoughts As The Astros Head off to Spring Training

Jed Lowrie could be the Astros' best all-around shortstop since Dickie Thon, if he stays healthy​Spring training begins for Major League Baseball next week, and that means the Astros will be reporting to camp in Florida and prepping for the upcoming season -- yes, despite whatever happened las ... More >>

20 Modest Fan Suggestions for Jim Crane

The word from on-high came earlier this week when the Houston Astros announced that Jim Crane had heard the voice of the fans and thus would not be changing the team's name. It's nice that Crane paid some attention to the people who buy tickets (though it does seem strange to see how many people co ... More >>

Dear Astros: Try The Old Rainbow Unis, Then You'd At Least Be Interesting To Look At

Dear Astros, if you're going to be bad, could you at least wear the rainbows?​Hey Astros fans, here's some news for you. The Astros have the same record as the Boston Red Sox. And the Red Sox are supposed to be playing in the World Series at the end of the season, if you believe the experts ... More >>

The Year In Astros Baseball: 25 Things, Including Thank God For Jennie Finch

Mrs. Casey Daigle actually made some Astros games watchable​Let's face it. The Houston Astros suck. They sucked last season. They're going to suck this season. As long as Drayton McLane and Ed Wade are involved with this team, they're going to suck. But it's the end of the year, so let's tak ... More >>

Lloyd C.A. Wells: Civil Rights Pioneer For Sportswriters Deserves Spot On Astros' Wall Of Fame

Lloyd C.A. Wells desegregated press boxes in the South​Several years ago the Houston Astros established a Media Wall of Fame, which is found in the press box. The first three honorees, Anita Martini, Gene Elston, and Neil Hohlfeld, were among the most worthy honorees that have ever been placed in ... More >>

Baseball Is Coming: 25 Things To Love About The Astros This Year

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​Believe it or not, but pitchers and catchers are reporting for the Houston Astros on February 19, 2010. Yes, the Astros are going to suck this year, but it's baseball, and I love baseball. That said, I realize that some of you might want some more specific reasons to get ... More >>

St. Miguel Tejada, Patron Saint Of Lying

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​Apparently Fox Sports Houston did a documentary on Miguel Tejada which aired this weekend. I didn't see it, but listening to Bill Brown and Jim Deshaies talk about Tejada and the documentary during the games with the New York Mets, I couldn't help but reach the concl ... More >>

The Astros May Suck, But At Least You Can Listen To Jim Deshaies

So I'm watching the Astros/Twins game on Sunday afternoon, and it gets to be that inning for the trivia question. The question this time asks Jim Deshaies and Bill Brown to name the four Minnesota Twins that have been named as American League MVPs. So they start tossing out names of great Minnes ... More >>

Astros-Cubs: What, Is It Raining Everywhere?

Wandy's Mediocrity Revealed in 9-5 Loss to Reds

Astros-Pirates: Blame It on the Rain, or the Hurricane, or Something

Astros-Dodgers: Extra Innings Not Enough

Astros-Rangers: Arlington Gets the Silver Boot. Now We Just Need a Texas Team to Actually Win the World Series.

Astros-Brewers: Just What Will It Take for Cecil Cooper to Bench Miguel Tejada and Carlos Lee?

Astros-Brewers: Ugly. Actually, Make That Fugly.

Astros-Rangers: What Happens When Two Teams on a Roll Run into Each Other?

Astros-Giants: Big Puma, Billy Jack and Doug Rader

Astros-Dodgers: All Hail Big Puma

Astros-Nationals: One Game Over Five Hundred

Astros-Brewers: Back-to-Back-to-Back Wins and Homers

The Five Best Broadcasters in the History of Houston Sports

Astros-Reds: The Vaunted Offense Keeps Hitting

Astros-Cardinals: Albert Pujols Goes Deep. Twice.

Astros-Cubs: One Win (and Two Losses) for the ‘Stros, But Still None for a Starting Pitcher

Astros-Padres: Shawn Chacon, Not So Bad?

Astros-Padres: Michael Bourn Is Looking Good. Everyone Else, Not So Much.

Astros-Padres: It's Going to Be a Long Season

John Royal's Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part Two

What's Craig Biggio Got to Do with Paula Marshall? Not Much, But Hear Us Out.

Bright Idea: Have Woody Williams Mentor Wandy Rodriguez.

History with Bill Brown

Base Brawl

One Shy of the Record

Three in a Row

Encore or Bust?

Stressing about the 'Stros begins anew

Get Your Kicks

A Texas filmmaker looks at small-town life through a windshield

Best Play-by-Play Announcer

Bill Brown

Best Play-by-Play Announcer

Bill Brown