Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to introducingliston@gmail.com.
It didn't strike us until recently, but there are no real poppy male R&B singers of consequence from Houston. There's Marques Houston, but he's from California. There's Houston Summers, who sang "I Like That" with Chi
So R. Kelly's newest single is called "Number One." Seriously? Okay, we know Kelly was found innocent of all child-related golden-shower charges by a jury of 12 idiots, but when the subject of Dave Chappelle's "(I Wanna) Piss On You" releases a single called "Number One"... sorry, but we have to believe he is now simply taunting us.
We taxed our brains to their very limits, and we were able to think of ten (as-yet) fictional songs that would be only slightly less appropriate. Have a look - you