Boston Red Sox

Zaprduer Analysis Of A.J. Clemente's (F-Bomb Dropping News Anchor) 15 Minutes Of Fame

As I wrote about yesterday, Boston Red Sox slugger David Ortiz kind of re-calibrated the acceptability scale for the f-word on Saturday when he dropped it in the middle of his brief speech welcoming Bostonians back to baseball in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings. Hell, even the FCC wasn't go ... More >>

Boston Red Sox' David Ortiz: "This Is Our Fucking City"

When real tragedy like the bombings at the Boston Marathon last Monday occurs, one of the phrases that gets uttered seemingly every time is that "sports helps the healing process." Now, most of the time we hear this, it's uttered by someone who makes their living in sports, so the statement may b ... More >>

One Man's Baseball Bucket List

The thought of baseball season is depressing for some people, primarily because the Astros are going to be so damn bad. But that doesn't bother me. I'm a baseball addict, and while the Astros will be bad, it's not really going to matter because I'll be watching baseball -- and thanks to Comcast Spor ... More >>

10 Songs That Will Pack Your Wedding Reception's Dance Floor

5 Fourth of July Sports Moments

Though only a few sports are in full swing in July, all sorts of marvelous, bizarre and messed up sports moments have occurred on America's Independence Day. Here are five of them.

The Astros Battle #MillsLogic

It's hard not to get excited about the Houston Astros right now (well, not hard for those actually paying attention, and judging by the attendance, not many of you are). Sure the team has a losing record (11-14) and they're five games out of first place, but the team has won three straight and six o ... More >>

Last Night: Dropkick Murphys At House Of Blues

Dropkick Murphys House of Blues February 28, 2012 Check out photos of last night's sold out Dropkick Murphys show at House of Blues. Everybody's Irish at a Dropkick Murphys show. Tuesday night at House of Blues, Rocks Off saw more shamrock-festooned gear and Boston Red Sox caps than should normall ... More >>

Astros To The American League? That's The Latest Rumor

Wait, what, the Astros to the AL?​If you were at one of the Astros games this weekend against the Braves -- and judging by the attendance figures, many of you weren't -- then you were probably annoyed by the idiot Braves fans doing that stupid tomahawk chop thing they do. But things could be ... More >>

MLB Realignment -- I Want The Astros In The American League (And I'm Bright!)

"I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb!"​Your Houston Astros lost 4-1 to the Atlanta Braves on Sunday afternoon to drop their record on the 2011 season to 24-42, the worst record in all of Major League Baseball. The Astros are a bad baseball team that is thoroughly uninteresting. As ... More >>

Chef Chat, Part 2: Greg Lowry of VOICE

​Yesterday, we spoke with VOICE executive chef Greg Lowry about how he became a chef and the evolution of the menu under his direction. Today we talk sharks, Toque 5 dinners and molecular gastronomy. EOW: Have you recovered from the Final Four? GL: Business-wise it was fantastic, but hour-wi ... More >>

The Beauty of Short Hops: Or, Come Back Ken Tremendous, A Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You

​Author Michael Lewis wrote this book around the turn of the century that has dominated baseball discussion, for good and bad, ever since. This book, Moneyball, dealt with the efforts of Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane to field a competitive team despite not having the payroll to comp ... More >>

Dear Astros: Try The Old Rainbow Unis, Then You'd At Least Be Interesting To Look At

Dear Astros, if you're going to be bad, could you at least wear the rainbows?​Hey Astros fans, here's some news for you. The Astros have the same record as the Boston Red Sox. And the Red Sox are supposed to be playing in the World Series at the end of the season, if you believe the experts ... More >>

Play Ball, Baby

A new season for the Astros, and hopefully a new team.

Astros Spring: Please Save Jordan Lyles from This Club

Is Jordan Lyles this season's savior of the Astros?​The news from Astros camp last week was that Carlos Lee had to DH in some games because he had a tired shoulder. Which begs the question of don't you actually have to use the shoulder for something before it can become tired? Is this what co ... More >>

Lacrosse Mascot Gets Halftime Lap Dances (with VIDEO)

It's hard out here for a mascot​Living in Houston, I'm guessing very few of you know anything about lacrosse. I'm guessing even fewer of you know that there is actually a professional lacrosse league called the National Lacrosse League. However, again, living in Houston (and being avid reade ... More >>

Why a Fire Gary Kubiak Rally is a Bad Idea

Image courtesy of John RonaldSome rallies just have a way of coming together.​Seems like a lot of folks are down right pissed at Gary Kubiak these days. Texans owner Bob McNair doesn't appear to be among them, but our latest Death Watch has the poor guy on his last legs here and fans on sports ... More >>

Carl Crawford Gives Davis High Academic Cred At Harvard

Carl Crawford, not discussing the history he learned at Davis​Carl Crawford, the Davis High School grad who is the Boston Red Sox' latest big-money acquisition, is giving his alma mater some serious academic credibility among his learned new neighbors. Or at least he was, for a while. A base ... More >>

December 9, 2013 Headline: Hunter Pence Signs With Pirates For 7 Years, $168M

Rich people making baseball decisions​Most major league baseball owners are billionaires or, at the very least, incredibly wealthy leaders of investor groups. And I'm pretty sure you have to be smart to become a billionaire (although I am admittedly very smart, and I regularly get excited whe ... More >>

Game Time: Celtics, Feel Better -- Five Officiating Decisions That Were WAY Worse Than Kendrick Perkins' Second Technical

Sorry about that fifth down.....​It's funny, because I'm from New England, people automatically assume that I am a fan of all the Boston teams. To wit, last night as the Celtics were imploding in Orlando, my iPhone was blowing up with text messages asking if I was starting to get worried about th ... More >>

For Opening Day: The Worst Pregame Renditions Of The National Anthem Ever

What so proudly we hailed... Can you pass the earplugs, please?​ You can be forgiven for not realizing Opening Day for baseball season was here already (yesterday, in fact). Maybe you've been too busy cursing the guy in your NCAA tournament pool that filled out his brackets using the coin-flip met ... More >>

Game Time: The Decade's Five Most Lucrative Miracles

​First, I want to wish everybody out there a very happy holiday, and thank all of you who have read my stuff here on HoustonPress.com since I started up a couple months ago, especially those of you who leave comments (even if you think what you've just read is utter drivel, and you're telling me ... More >>

Game Time: Tiger, Why Can't You Be More Like Jeter?

​I have very few sports allegiances that drive me to either end of the emotional spectrum, especially professionally. Honestly, in the business that I'm in, I think it actually helps me think and assess things clearer than if I had a diehard rooting interest.Sure, I root for the Houston teams, a ... More >>

If You Love Roy Oswalt, Set Him Free

​Ed. Note: We mistakenly stated that Brian McTaggart was with the Houston Chronicle, which has now been corrected. We regret the error. If you were watching the Astros lose on Wednesday night, then you probably recall that at one point, Albert Pujols hit a soft groundball right up the middle ... More >>

Hey Drayton: Stop Treating Astros Fans Like Idiots

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherThe Chron did a story yesterday on the concession policies of the Houston Astros. The important thing to emerge from the story is that the Astros are the only team in major league baseball that does not allow fans to bring in their own food or drinks. That's right, ou ... More >>

This Season's MLB Predictions: The American League

With baseball season due to start next week, I thought I should put myself on the line and make some predictions. I'm going to do the American League today. I'll follow up with the National League and postseason picks tomorrow, and I'll give a more in-depth look at the Astros on Monday. So here' ... More >>

It's Time For Another Astros Slogan Contest!

Buried towards the bottom of a Pete Gammons blog post on the Boston Red Sox signing pitcher Jon Lester to a big contract is what appears to be a throwaway paragraph about MLB facing a huge economic problem this season. Gammons states that MLB officials have told teams to expect at least a 20-perce ... More >>

It's Time For Another Astros Slogan Contest!

Buried towards the bottom of a Pete Gammons blog post on the Boston Red Sox signing pitcher Jon Lester to a big contract is what appears to be a throwaway paragraph about MLB facing a huge economic problem this season. Gammons states that MLB officials have told teams to expect at least a 20-perce ... More >>

John Royal's Top 25 Random Baseball Facts

There's this new list craze going around Facebook in which you list 25 random things about yourself. And the geniuses at the Big League Stew baseball blog got hold of this and made it into a list of 25 Random Things About Yourself As It Relates to Baseball. Thus... 1. I am happiest in a baseball ... More >>

John Royal's Top 25 Random Baseball Facts

There's this new list craze going around Facebook in which you list 25 random things about yourself. And the geniuses at the Big League Stew baseball blog got hold of this and made it into a list of 25 Random Things About Yourself As It Relates to Baseball. Thus... 1. I am happiest in a baseball ... More >>

Tampa Bay Goes All the Way: John Royal’s MLB Postseason Picks

Astros, Reds Ramp Up Epic Battle for Fifth in NL Central

Twelve Best Sports Books of All Time

Astros-Rangers: Shawn Chacon Is Suspended, Carlos Lee Is Fat

Astros-Orioles: That’s Eight in a Row

Astros-Cubs: So That’s What a Good Team Looks Like…

This Just In: FBI Opens Investigation of Clemens

Top Ten Bizarre Baseball Injuries

Double Standard: How Come Few People Bitch About Cheating in Football?

No Hall of Fame for Dale Murphy?

John Royal’s Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part One

Roger Clemens Named in Steroid Report?

Big Money, No Whammies: Scott Boras Strikes Again

Pro Athlete Musicians

Athletes step off the field and into the studio

Jose de Jesus Ortiz Is a Turkey

A-Rod Would Be Good for the Astros. Not as Good as Starting Over, But Good.

Teach Our Children Well

Lights Out for Lidge?

New Bat for the 'Stros

The Hustle

Why the biggest deal at Sundance was no big deal at all

The God Squad

With their own chaplain, the Houston Astros might be the most religious clubhouse in the majors