Brian Cushing

Move Over, Jeff Bagwell! Brian Cushing's House Is For Sale, Too!

Maybe after the tidal wave of a sports week that we all enjoyed/endured last week, we needed a bit of a breather. After Manti Te'o's phony baloney girlfriend, Lance Armstong's phony baloney apologies, the Patriots' and Falcons' phony baloney Super Bowl aspirations, a slow sports week leading up to ... More >>

Grading the Texans Season: The Good, The Bad and The Seriously Ugly

Ultimately, the 2012-13 Houston Texans season will go down as a disappointment. An impressive 11-1 start gave way to a 1-3 finish, loss of home field advantage and second straight one win and out in the playoffs. Still, there were some bright spots for the team and some of the individual players thi ... More >>

Texans-Patriots: The 10 Last Rapper Tweets of the Season

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of God and his company, to mourn the loss our valiant football heroes, the United-States-Houston-Texas Texans. They were taken from us too soon, to be sure. But know that theirs was a lush, well-lived life full of successes earned and achiev ... More >>

Crystal Ball: Looking Ahead to 2013 Houston Sports, Texans/Rockets Edition

It's always an adventure when it comes to being a sports fan in Houston. Fortunes change quickly and the sensitive sports psyche of the city is so damn fragile, our confidence having been shattered so often in the past. Even when we want to swagger into a new year or a new season, it feels uncomfort ... More >>

Colts 28, Texans 16: Gary Kubiak-Led Collapse Reaches Fitting Conclusion

Dumbfounding special teams miscues. A 70-yard touchdown over the top on 3rd-and-23. Two inexplicable Matt Schaub interceptions with the offense rolling. Four offsides penalties. Two timeouts wasted on a baffling challenge and an indecisive fourth down. These are Gary Kubiak's Houston Texans. In the ... More >>

Texans-Jets: 4 Winners, 4 Losers, The World Learns About J.J. Watt Edition

Well, it wasn't sexy, it wasn't pretty, and it was actually a whole lot closer than most people thought it would be, but the Texans escaped northern New Jersey with a 23-17 win over the New York Jets. After the game, most Texan fans on Twitter were more interested in breaking down what went wrong ( ... More >>

Matt Schaub And Five Other Cringeworthy Ear Injuries In Pop Culture

If you were like most Houstonians, your heart sank on Sunday afternoon when you saw Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub hit the ground in agony after getting hit by the Denver Broncos' Joe Mays. Immediately images of last year flew through our heads and within seconds T.J. Yates was in the game - ... More >>

Houston Texans: Some Pre-Final Preseason Game 53-Man Roster-tology!

Thursday night, the Texans' 2012 preseason wraps up with a game against the Minnesota Vikings. The game is meaningful to a couple dozen guys still battling for roster and practice squad spots (and REALLY degenerate gamblers -- seriously, final preseason game gambling is the bestiality porn of the ga ... More >>

Saints 34, Texans 27: Five Things We Learned

In name, Saturday did represent the clichéd dress rehearsal for the Texans. In practicality, it was only the case on one side of the ball. With the defense missing Shaun Cody, J.J. Watt and Brian Cushing, there isn't that much use to reading fortunes on that side of the ball. The Saints are an eli ... More >>

Texans Rewind: I Found a 2008 NFL Preview Magazine, Man Alive Was the Texans Defense Bad

On our radio show on 1560 The Game this past Monday, John Granato and I were breaking down various aspects of both the Texans 26-13 win over the Panthers and the preseason in general. The topic was the defense, specifically Whitney Mercilus and the various ways that Texans defensive coordinator Wade ... More >>

Foster's Vegan Announcement Adds to Texans' Quirkiness

Officially a vegan now. We'll see how this goes. But week one down. So far, so good. Feels wonderful.— Arian Foster (@ArianFoster) July 6, 2012 We've all known Arian Foster to be a rather unique guy. He's a bit of a philosopher and poet. He tweets about eastern religion and plays random pick ... More >>

5 Things Texans Safety Troy Nolan Could Be Doing in This Picture OTHER Than Urinating

This just in -- sometimes men pee in places other than the bathroom. Sometimes it's out of choice, sometimes it's out of necessity, sometimes it's out of spite. Or it can be a combination of all three. (My co-host on 1560 The Game and noted LSU fan John Granato famously tells a story about a crowd ... More >>

Deontay Greenberry: A Texans-Related Grain Of Salt For College Football National Signing Day

There was a time not too long ago when the last-minute defection of wide receiver Deontay Greenberry from my alma mater Notre Dame to the University of Houston would have sent me into a mental funk that would have taken me a week from which to recover. After all, Greenberry is a dynamic "four star ... More >>

Bulls on Parade: Ten Songs for Ten Texans Players and One for the Team

​This past weekend, not only did the Texans roll to yet another improbable win over the Atlanta Falcons, they seemed to find a battle cry in the song "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine. The song was played over and over inside Reliant Stadium and seemed to fire up linebacker Connor ... More >>

Texans 24, Jaguars 14: It Wasn't Pretty. Thankfully, It Doesn't Have To Be Anymore

Photo by Marco TorresMark Schaub, the new Cam Newton​To know the Houston Texans is to know drama, at least from a historical standpoint. Offensive explosions -- both from the Texans and their opponents -- fueled both spectacular wins and crushing collapses in 2009 and 2010. In the end, the ups ... More >>

Texans/Jaguars -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresTexans battlefought their way to a win in Battle Red​"I still don't like them, and I have no respect for them at all. It was just the dirty stuff they were doing. I don't want to get into specifics; I just don't like them. . . . I'm not going to get into names or anything ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 5 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (This Doesn't Go Well For Jacoby Jones)

Be sure to check out the rest of our pics from Sunday's game. As we were driving slowly down Murworth to park in the Teal Lot before the Texans game on Sunday, my girlfriend Amy and I noticed a father with two boys (presumably his sons) around the ages of nine or ten stopped on the sidewalk having ... More >>

The New Normal

The Texans start operating like a bona fide NFL team.

The 10 Coolest Houston Fire Station Patches: Skulls, Gangs & Singed Balls

With everyone watching the wildfires blazing around the state, it's a good time to think good thoughts about the people who risk their lives as firefighters. Each Houston Fire Department station has its own patch, and some of them are very cool. Or odd. Here are the 10 best, in our humble opinion. ... More >>

Houston Texans: My Way Too Early Guess At The 53-Man Roster

Everyone's favorite kind of guy​We all have that friend who not only loves to be right, but also loves to point out that they're right and then continuously remind you that he (or she -- yeah, ladies, you're guilty, too!) is right. They'll text, they'll tweet, they'll take screen shots of Spo ... More >>

Top Ten Houston Sports Stories in 2010 (Alternate Title: "Here Comes The Prozac")

Brian Cushing will bring a keg and Fear of Tumors to your party​Putting together a "Top 10 Sports Moments" list is not supposed to invoke these feelings of anger and depression. But then again, I live in Houston, so try as I might to make this a list that is uplifting and inspiring, I can't. ... More >>

The Year In Battlefight: 25 Thoughts On This Year's Houston Texans

At least the Texans cheerleaders are worth watching​For some reason, there were many people out there who thought the Houston Texans were going to be a good team this year. Playoff good.I didn't read anything about Gary Kubiak getting a brain implant during the off-season, so I could never u ... More >>

Thanksgiving 2010: The Post Where We Get All "Thanky"

Thank you. Thank you very much.​As we prepare to gorge ourselves today on turkey (Cajun fried is the choice here), stuffing, pumpkin bread, and perhaps something green (maaaaybe, but probably not), I want to first thank all of you who stop in and read the stuff on the blog here, not just my st ... More >>

NFL & College Football -- Weekend's Best Bets (Nepotism Edition)

Keeping it in the family​Okay, last week's Best Bets were centered around a random string of stories from around the internet, good enough for a 3-3 record, which means it's still yielding better results than 2009, but still not good enough for me. And damn sure not good enough for you. So ... More >>

College Football and NFL: This Weekend's Best Bets (And a Promise From Me)

You can't lose, except when you lose​I'm coming up on almost one year now writing a daily post on Hair Balls for HoustonPress.com. In that time, I've written tens of thousands of words about topics like the Summer of LeBron, the Brian Cushing saga, the Houston Texans, and the death of Jose Lima. ... More >>

Texans 31, Raiders 24: With A Running Game Like This, Johnson Has Time To Rest

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherMario Williams kept up the pressure​It only took one offseason and one Arian Foster to transform the Texans' running game from shaky to the club's foundation.As a result, the Texans on Sunday allowed star wideout Andre Johnson to rest his ailing ankle and saw their offens ... More >>

Duane Brown -- I'm The One Guy Saying Something Nice About You

Duane Brown: We're not jumping on the blame train​"I vow to learn from this mistake and be a better player and teammate because of it." -- Duane Brown In May, when the news came down that Brian Cushing had been suspended for violating the league's substance-abuse policy, the reaction among many ... More >>

Texan Duane Brown, Accidentally Taking Performance-Enhancing Drugs

Our Cowboys Week logo should have Duane Brown peeing in a cup​Texans offensive tackle Duane Brown has been suspended for four games because of a positive test for performance-enhancing drugs.His explanation? "I unknowingly took a supplement tainted with a banned substance and now have to deal with ... More >>

GAME TIME: Texans-Cowboys -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresYour face-painting will be in vain!​It's the preseason and we must remember that the Dallas Cowboys are making a return trip to Reliant Stadium in about a month, so let's not get crazy over what the Texans' 23-7 manhandling of the Cowboys on Saturday night means in the big pic ... More >>

Hospital mixes up big toe and fetus

Suspension Stands: Texans' Cushing Out First Four Games

All natural?​Brian Cushing had better get his training regime in order, because the NFL isn't buying that "Overtrained Athlete Syndrome" nonsense. Today, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced that the league will uphold the second-year linebacker's four-game suspension for taking a banned perfo ... More >>

Game Time: Mike Leach, Texans and Grounded Clubs -- Weekend Thoughts

The Whalers can take it out of you​I'm two hours removed from a 5:00 a.m. flight this morning from Boston to Houston, so if this post is even remotely coherent we all have Rich Connelly and his ninja proofreading skills to thank. Because when you go up to Hartford for Whaler Fest 2010, there's no ... More >>

Game Time: Brian Cushing -- Saga of the Overtrained Athlete

For he today that juices his blood with me shall be my brother...​ "It's not a lie, if you believe it." -- George CostanzaNo one could carry out a lie like George Costanza.If you watched Seinfeld, you remember the episode where George told his would-have-been in-laws, the Rosses, that he had a tim ... More >>

Game Time: USC Sanctions -- A Lesson in Media Logic (or Lack Thereof)

She cheered the Lane Kiffin hire, too​If you take Brian Cushing's four-game suspension and Reggie Bush's single handed takedown of his alma mater's football program -- two of the biggest football stories of the last two months -- and go to connect them "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon"-style, the easy ... More >>

Game Time: Okay Rockets, It's Your Move In The "Summer Of Trying To Be Moderately Interesting" In Houston

Photo by Daniel KramerYou're on the clock, Morey. Entertain us​"Can you really not be aware we've been building a RICO case against Tony Soprano for five f**king years? And then you blow this popcorn fart?" -- Federal agent to local prosecutor in Sopranos episode "Soprano Home Movies""Popcorn fart ... More >>

Aggies Recruit Teh Gheys

College Station, the San Francisco of Texas

Game Time: Brian Cushing -- My Final Words On This Topic

Brian, you are getting bad advice​As I type this, the Texans' first session of OTA's is about to wrap up, and we're all anxiously awaiting the final horn ending the session to see if Brian Cushing decides to take out his gas can and empty it on the brush fire that he started with his statement and ... More >>

Game Time: A Follow-Up E-mail To Brian Cushing

Brian Cushing and Elton John: Soulmates​Brian: Let me get right down to business. I am actually sending this e-mail as a follow-up to my open letter to you on Monday of this week, and frankly, I'm kicking myself that I actually sent you an open letter. I mean, who the hell sends letters any ... More >>

Game Time: Houston Texans: Relevance, Thy Name Is Cushing

Cushing, perhaps pondering the medical mysteries he's endured​The word "relevance" has been thrown around quite a bit these last couple years over at Reliant Stadium, as in "The Texans are seeking...." They're finding out the hard way the fast track to relevance is sometimes covered in hCG. Someh ... More >>

Smoot On Shamed Texans LB Brian Cushing

The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email it to introducingliston@ ... More >>

Game Time: Cush-Watch Day 5: AP Voters Get Their Sanctimony On

You talking to me? ​I'm not sure what it says about your franchise when the most highly anticipated Monday is not a Monday following a big game nor the Monday after the NFL Draft, but instead it's the first Monday of "organized team activities" (OTA's for those into acronyms) in May, and it's ... More >>

Game Time: An Open Letter To Texans Linebacker Brian Cushing

Three clean guys. Way to go, USC​Dear Brian,I won't even start off this letter with some colloquial phrase like "How was your weekend?" I know your weekend probably sucked, and the truth of the matter is I hate it when people ask how you're doing and don't really want to hear the answer. Along w ... More >>

Brian Cushing And the Department Of Bad Timing

A photo Cushing's PR person sent along today, before things went sour​Adventures in Public Relations:At 2:13 this afternoon, we got this e-mail: My name is Ryan Cole and I work for ESBL Sports management where we handle the PR for Houston Texans' Rookie of the Year and Pro Bowler Brian Cushing.I w ... More >>

Sports Things To Be Thankful For, And Not Thankful For

​It's that time of year when we start to look back at the events that have happened. And since it's Thanksgiving, I thought I would give a list of sports things for which I'm thankful, as well as listing a few of the turkeys of the year. So...1. I'm thankful for the MLB Network. The network and it ... More >>

Game Time: Kick In The Junk...Wide Left

​I woke up Sunday morning thinking that things had to get better. After a week that started off with a right cross from Kobe, a left hook from the Yankees, and a sucker punch in the junk from Notre Dame, I thought surely these events were just karmic balance for what was going to be the biggest w ... More >>

Game Time: Weekend Review

​I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you were all able to enjoy the nice weather by moving your television and recliner into your driveway to watch football on TV.  I'd like to start off by welcoming the Texans to this new thing for them called "November".  Boys, I know in ... More >>

Texans Finally Put Two Halves Together; Defense Finds Pulse

​After three weeks of the season, the Texans were on a pace to allow more total yards and more yards rushing than any team in NFL history.So who the hell are these guys? And more importantly, have the guys calling the shots figured something out?The Texans' defense pitched a third consecutive ... More >>

At Long Last, Texans Play According to Plan

​For a franchise that has spent its entire existence searching for signs of turning a corner, the Texans on Sunday showed as many as they ever have. On the field, the Texans did what they never seem to do - win big in a game they're supposed to, routing the hapless Raiders 29-6 at Reliant St ... More >>

Texans-Saints: New, "Improved " D Falls Flat In First Home Test

​Run the ball, and stop the run.It's one of the oldest clichés on what determines NFL success. But if there's much truth to it, the Texans' potential breakthrough season might already be in some trouble.With Reggie Bush out with a calf injury, the Saints (2-0) gashed the Texans (1-1) on Satur ... More >>

25 Key Things To Watch For In The Texans' Pre-Season Opener

​With the Houston Texans kicking off pre-season play tomorrow night, I thought I would throw out a list of 25 things to watch or listen for during the game.1. Does Matt Schaub make it through two series of plays without any type of injury?2. What kind of stupid catchphrase is radio voice Marc Vand ... More >>