Cecil Cooper

The Astros Curse: They Are The Damned

The Astros have been damned​The following is based on true facts, but names have been redacted to protect the innocent, and not so innocent... The Houston Astros are a bad baseball team this season. They're beyond bad. They're beyond awful. They're closing in on worst team in MLB history b ... More >>

The Drayton and Milo Show: Somewhere, Two Villages Are Missing Their Idiots

​Drayton McLane visited with Milo Hamilton during Saturday's game against the San Diego Padres. As is usual whenever Milo's in the booth, it was already impossible to know what was actually happening during the game because Milo doesn't believe in talking about the events occurring on the fie ... More >>

Game Time: Roy Oswalt -- Translating Athlete-Speak 1.0

cutline​"It's not like I'm not happy here. This is the only place I know. They've given me a chance to play since '97, and I've always wanted to finish here. But I want to win, too. If you go into spring training knowing you're not going to win the whole thing, there's no sense in playing." -- Roy ... More >>

A (Somewhat Limited) List Of Reasons To Watch The Astros This Season

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​So I had a friend the other day asking me why he should bother with watching the Houston Astros this season. I went with the because-you-love-baseball answer, and he went the-Astros-aren't-baseball answer. And I've got to confess, looking at Brian McTaggart's proposed ... More >>

11 Things To Ponder As The Astros Open Spring Training

​Pitchers and catchers are reporting to Houston Astros camp today. The first workout is tomorrow. It's going to be a spring training full of questions for the Astros as management, the media, the players, and the fans try to figure out just what exactly this year's team is going to be like. As ... More >>

Game Time: Sure Thing...Betting The Opposite Of The Village Idiot

​If you're keeping track, you know that I've been sucking on my football picks since I started posting here at Hair Balls. My sincere hope is that all of you are doing the smart thing and running to the pay window with picks the exact opposite of mine, and laughing gleefully while doing so. I dese ... More >>

Game Time: Brad Mills Shows Bald Is Beautiful

​The biggest story locally this week has probably been the Astros hiring of Brad Mills. While some see it as the dawning of a new era for the Astros, I for one am sad to see the pageant that was Star Search 2009 end.So many memories...watching Drayton and Tal parade all ten candidates around...hea ... More >>

Which Houston Team Has The Dumbest Front Office?

​Richard Justice actually had a decent blog post the other day. In it, he attempted to evaluate which of Houston's big three sports franchises was the smartest -- sorry Dynamo fans, he didn't include them because he says the team hasn't been here long enough, and I won't include them because I con ... More >>

The Astros: Where Pitching Careers Go To Die

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​I don't know what Cecil Cooper has against pitchers, but it's really beginning to harm the team. The Astros put Wesley Wright on the disabled list yesterday. Chris Sampson, who recently came off of the DL, is pitching as if he's still injured, and he and Cooper had a clo ... More >>

Astros Are Red-Hot...For Now

 Is it actually possible? Is it actually possible that the Houston Astros could climb into first place of the NL Central this weekend? Can it really be that we'll wake up on Monday morning and discover that the Astros will be in a position to actually start pulling away with the division le ... More >>

The Astros, Hanging On Despite Themselves

The Houston Astros beat the Los Angeles Dodgers and Thursday and Friday to get their record to 46-44. For a short time, the Astros were in a three-way tie for second place in the NL Central. And with the first-place St. Louis Cardinals coming in for three games starting tonight, there was a chan ... More >>

Astros' Solution To A Lousy Rotation: Add More Lousy Pitchers

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherOver the past two Astros games, Jim Deshaies has been talking about the Astros going to a six-man pitching rotation. And Deshaies has given a lot of reasons for doing this, but as much as I like JD, I'm a little disappointed in that, with all of his discussion about g ... More >>

Why The Hell Should Wandy Rodriguez Listen To Pudge Anyway?

In this corner, we have Wandy Rodriguez. Wandy's the very definition of a mediocre pitcher who has managed to hold on in the majors only because he's a left-hander. His career record is 42-45 and his career ERA is 4.59. This season, he's 5-5, but he's lost his last three games, pitching a total o ... More >>

That Other Sports Team In Town -- Who's Running It?

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherI know I've asked this question before, but I feel that it needs asking again. So, seriously, who's running the Houston Astros?I ask because it came out yesterday that Cecil Cooper has been pitching injured pitchers, even though he knows they're injured, because they say th ... More >>

The Astros: Even Worse Than We Thought?

Photo by William HoltkampSure it's just one week. Just seven games. But damn. The Astros are bad. Historically bad.  How bad?  The Astros record of 1-6 is the team's worst start to a season in 25 years. But it doesn't stop there. The Astros have failed to score in 27 of their last 28 innin ... More >>

Houston Astros 2009 Season Preview Part 2: Happy Opening Day!

Photo by Michael (mx5tx) Are you psyched? I'm psyched, so I hope you're psyched. Of course, I'm psyched because I love baseball, not because I think the Astros are any good. And after I take a look at the team, I don't think you'll be psyched about this team, either. But first...here is the winn ... More >>

This Season's MLB Predictions: The National League

With baseball season due to start next week, I thought I should put myself on the line and make some predictions. I made my American League predictions yesterday. Today I'm going to take a look at the National League, and on Monday, I'll take an in-depth look at the Astros as they prepare to open ... More >>

This Season's MLB Predictions: The National League

With baseball season due to start next week, I thought I should put myself on the line and make some predictions. I made my American League predictions yesterday. Today I'm going to take a look at the National League, and on Monday, I'll take an in-depth look at the Astros as they prepare to open ... More >>

10 Ways Miguel Tejada Can Do His Public Service

To: Drayton McLane From: Pam Gardner Cc: Ed Wade, Tal Smith, Cecil Cooper Re: Miguel Tejada's Community Service _____________________________________________ Mr. McLane: As you are no doubt aware, the team yesterday agreed to help Miguel Tejada, shortstop, fulfill the 100 hours of communit ... More >>

10 Ways Miguel Tejada Can Do His Public Service

To: Drayton McLane From: Pam Gardner Cc: Ed Wade, Tal Smith, Cecil Cooper Re: Miguel Tejada's Community Service _____________________________________________ Mr. McLane: As you are no doubt aware, the team yesterday agreed to help Miguel Tejada, shortstop, fulfill the 100 hours of communit ... More >>

Astros Spring Training Starts Friday

Pitchers and catchers report to Houston Astros spring training on Friday, which means that come Saturday, the Astros will be out of contention. And the Chron is getting everybody ready for the season to come with a couple of articles in yesterday's paper on the status of the team and its roster. ... More >>

Astros Spring Training Starts Friday

Pitchers and catchers report to Houston Astros spring training on Friday, which means that come Saturday, the Astros will be out of contention. And the Chron is getting everybody ready for the season to come with a couple of articles in yesterday's paper on the status of the team and its roster. ... More >>

Santa Round-Up Part Three: At Least When You're Done Juggling Quadruplets, There's A Beer Waiting

This and every Christmas season the most important person is the baby Jesus, with a bearded, white-haired toy factory owner coming in a close second. Every year we flock to the malls to sit in our kids down on Santa's lap. Sometimes they run off screaming, while others take to the old guy just like ... More >>

Astros-Cubs: A Tired Houston Team Only Gets One Hit

Astros-Pirates: Another Win for Houston

Astros-Brewers: All Hail the Fonz

Astros-Cubs: Setting the Clocks Back to Lima Time

Astros-Cubs: Lack of Quality Starts Finally Catches Up to Houston

Astros-Mets: Houston Sweeps New York

Astros Win Milwaukee Series, Could Finish July a Glorius 11-13

Is Tal Smith Incompetent or Is This Some Kind of Parallel Universe?

Astros-Dodgers: Speaking of Predictions, Guess Who Got Last Month Right

Astros-Rays: Houston Falls Into and Then Crawls Out of Last Place

Covering the Spread: A Humble Request for Stacks of Twenty Dollar Bills

A Clubhouse Divided, Part Two

Astros-Reds: That’s Five in a Row

Astros-Rockies: Say Hello to Eny Cabreja

Who's On Deck for the Houston Astros in 2008?

The Astros' post-Biggio era begins with a lot of unanswered questions, but the biggest one of all is: Just how bad are things going to get?

Play Ball: John Royal’s Predictions for the Houston Astros

The Shawn Chacon / Justin Timberlake Connection

John Royal's Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part Two

Stop the Insanity!!!

Jesus, Willie Taveras Just Isn't That Good

Craig Biggio Is Gone, Daddy, Gone. But What about Jose de Jesus Ortiz?

Jose de Jesus Ortiz. Really, What More Can We Say?

Hey Drayton, What's the Rush in the Search for a General Manager?

Why Can't Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman Get to Work on Time?

What's Craig Biggio Got to Do with Paula Marshall? Not Much, But Hear Us Out.

Comparing Drayton McLane to George Steinbrenner Is Completely Unfair. To Steinbrenner.

Looks Like Cecil Cooper Is Gonna Fit Right In