Charlie Sheen

Seven Depressing Things About Scary Movie V That Have Almost Nothing to Do with the Movie Itself

10 Great Versions of "Wild Thing"

"Wild Thing" may not be most-recorded song in history, but it's got to be up there. (It's not even in the Top 10, though, according to the UK's The Independent.) But when the version by the Troggs, whose singer Reg Presley died of cancer late Monday night, became a hit on both sides of the Atlantic ... More >>

New Idea: Give Fans Your Phone Number

Every so often, a ballplayer or musician will accidentally post their private phone number on Twitter, or perhaps a social-media-savvy celeb like Charlie Sheen will tweet out a buddy's digits as a prank. Hilarity ensues, usually in the form of thousands of text messages, and that person is usually s ... More >>

Hair Balls' Most Popular Posts of 2011

It's hard to believe 2011 is almost over, and that the year of the Mayan Apocalypse is fast approaching. We're taking this time of soul searching and retrospection to look back at the most popular posts of the past 12 months, in the hopes that you might relive the fun times again. ​10. 12 Odd ... More >>

The 10 Most Popular Rocks Off Posts of 2011

Photo by Marc BrubakerKe$ha, Slutwave queen.​Each December we take a moment to reflect back on the writing of the year, looking at those posts that seem to most fervently stir the hearts and imaginations of our readers. This year, you guys were really, really into films, soundtracks and music ... More >>

Santa Killas Are Coming: Our Annual Christmas Card From The Insane Clown Posse

​Out of some of the most proudest moments of my five-year tenure here at the Houston Press - interviewing Rob Halford, talking to an agitated Chuck Berry on a couch backstage after a gig, shaking hands with Charlie Sheen - one of the best days ever was finding a Christmas card in the mail from ... More >>

Sex Dolls & Texans

The men who love pseudo-women

Pop Rocks: Lights, Camera, Osama

It'll be the feel-good movie of the year.​On the Geologic Internet Time Scale, the news of Osama bin Laden's death took place almost a century ago. We're already fondly recalling our whereabouts when we heard the fateful news (drinking beer and watching The Killing...NEVAR FORGET) and relivi ... More >>

Last Night: Charlie Sheen's "Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour" At Verizon Wireless Theater

Craig Hlavaty​Charlie Sheen's tour stop in Houston last night wasn't a wash-out, a bomb, or the expensive meltdown that most in town had hoped for. In fact, he was embraced at every turn by fans of all stripes, with men and women alike fawning over him like he was a surviving Beatle, or at lea ... More >>

Charlie Sheen Becomes Honorary Coog, Doesn't Enter Creative Writing Program

UH​Charlie Sheen, in town to appear in his disastrous live show, took batting practice with the UH baseball team Monday night. "Guess Charlie Sheen has Cougar blood, as well," UH spokesman Richard Bonnin tweeted. Sheen thus edged out James Franco, who has been accepted for the Fall 2012 seme ... More >>

Gothic Council Hands Out Some Goth Blocks

​Stevie Ryan has finally shown Gothtopia the way. We had no idea we could use our darksome image to impose our will on the populace at large. Our proof? Her music video for "Goth Blocked." It's nice to know that the goth community has this kind of power, but like any new tyrannical regime, we ... More >>

Pop Rocks: The Black Hole of Infotainment

Jesus christ...​I wonder sometimes if we're approaching the singularity in entertainment reporting. A "singularity," as we all know, is the point in which gravitational forces cause matter to have an infinite density and zero volume. If we define "density" as "number of stories and/or article ... More >>

Why We Read Previews (A Prelude to My Astros 2011 Preview)

​Thanks to the Internet -- specifically blogs, YouTube, chat rooms and porn -- the competition for the few spare minutes that you have in your day to consume items not related to work, family, or sleep has never been fiercer. So why would you spend the next several minutes reading my previe ... More >>

Nine Songs on Gary Busey's Playlist with Video Evidence

​We've all been so caught up with Charlie Sheen's personal life that it seems we've forgotten about the O.G. Gary Busey. He might not be "winning" as much as Sheen, but at least he still has an acting job with Celebrity Apprentice and the occasional TV movie like Gingerdead Man. We did some ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness

"Hi there! We're a squirming mound of tiny Lovecraftian horrors who live in stagnant muck! Put us in your face!"​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where if it can't be eaten with gravy, it's not worth eating. Luckily, everything can be eaten with gravy, even frozen d ... More >>

Cover Story: For Love of the Game

​When working on this week's feature story, I was surprised at just how much help my background as a musician would help me, especially since I was writing about a sports radio station. Over the last 25 years, I've spent a lot of time in bars, recording studios and rehearsal spaces with other ... More >>

TV Party: Pay Attention and The Sheening!

On last night's edition of my Newsfix segment "Between The Lines," I vented about people who would rather play on their cellphones and update all ten of their social media outlets than have a cherished moment with their friends. It's something even I grapple with in my own life. In fact, I just tw ... More >>

Scam Artists

Readers weigh in on "The Great Heights Art Heist."

Charlie Sheen's Astrology Chart: Five Disturbing Highlights That Explain It All

Charlie Sheen: Destined to be duplicitous, apparently​Charlie Sheen, high on a drug called him, has been analyzed every which way during his recent series of nuclear meltdowns. But the answer to his tiger-blood behavior may lie in the stars. It couldn't hurt to ask, at any rate. So we had ou ... More >>

We Get The Celebrity Offspring We Deserve

​You always want to be careful when writing about children. Not only because they're the future, as Whitney Houston and Bill Hicks once told us, but because it isn't exactly sporting to use your big person vocabulary and rhetorical arsenal to tee off on someone who hasn't yet been beaten into ... More >>

Five Things Charlie Sheen Should Give Up for Lent

​Charlie Sheen was brought up in a very Catholic family -- his Dad's about as Catholic as you can get -- so it's safe to assume he's familiar with the idea of giving things up for Lent. What should he give up this year? Some suggestions, a few of which he's already agreed to: 5. Washing his ... More >>

This Little Piggy Went to Kata Robata

Photos by GroovehouseFor more photos from the pig party, check out our slideshow.​Say what you will about Twitter -- that the microblogging/messaging service is ruining our attention spans, that it's killing "real" blogging -- but sometimes paying careful attention to your Twitter stream pays ... More >>

Medical Alert: Alcohol Is Turning Our Celebrities into Anti-Semites

How drunk celebrities see the world​Time was, a celebrity with negative opinions about "ze Jews" could opine about the threat they posed to Western culture until he/she was blue in the face, and many did (Henry Ford and Charles Lindbergh, to name a couple). Then World War II and the Holocaust ... More >>

Charlie Sheen: A Playlist Full Of Winning

Photo illustration by Monica Fuentes and Chris Gray"Heeeeeeeeeeere's Charlie!!"​The social media Hiroshima and Nagasaki that is the past two weeks of Charlie Sheen's life has led us to join the party by making our own playlist of Sheen songs. As if enough hasn't been written about this gonzo ... More >>

Idol Beat: Male Fraud

​Steve Tyler wore a shirt with lips all over it. I couldn't decide if he was being knowingly self-referential or it was the work of the same costume designer who put him in that leotard in the "Love in an Elevator" video.neither way, it fulfilled its purpose of distracting me from the show for ... More >>

Me And Charlie Sheen

​Barely a week has passed since Charlie Sheen's Krakatoa style career meltdown and it's already hard to think of anything new to say about it. You've already got warlock pictures, expert rehab advice from Dr. Drew (who's already threatening to topple Dr. Phil as Most Annoyingly Omnipresent Med ... More >>

Jesus is on Facebook!

Dude even knows how to hack his profile photos!​Last week, we ran across Charlie Sheen on Facebook. We realize many of you were shocked he would be on the mega social networking site while others were skeptical or even angry. We understand. Sheen is a controversial figure. As we continue to ... More >>

Charlie Sheen Has a Facebook Page!

Everyone has a Facebook page these days. It is surprising to find out someone doesn't have one, in fact, except for celebrities. They have a unique set of circumstances. Often, they will have a fan page, but having an actual personal page just for themselves and their friends can be really tricky. ... More >>

Somebody Make a Charlie Sheen/Lindsay Lohan Reality Show Already

It'll be just like this, only with more felony warrants and broken teeth​Believe it or not, writing about so-called "pop culture" has its difficulties. For starters, it's hard to deal with the effusive praise and overwhelming respect heaped upon you by your colleagues, none of whom view entert ... More >>

Cold Weather Baby Names: Naming the Bundle of Joy You Started This Morning

It made sense in February 2011, kid​No doubt all of you people who don't work in the news industry are either off this morning or working from home. But we all know that no one gets any work done at home with all the distractions running around you. Television, NetFlix, Internet porn, food, wi ... More >>

Maybe This Will Distract Everyone From the City's Horrible Super Bowl Fiasco

J.R.: Great Texan? Or *greatest* Texan?​Twenty years (!) after the original series ended, J.R. Ewing and company are set to return to the small screen...temporarily, at least. Larry Hagman (J.R.), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen) and Patrick Duffy (Bobby) are reportedly going to appear in the pilot for ... More >>

I Think We're Alone Now, Except for the Mega Pythons

My cup runneth over.​I realize Egypt is in chaos and everyone north of the Mason-Dixon line is going to be flash frozen like a bag of Birds Eye broccoli florets and Charlie Sheen is apparently the reincarnation of Grigori Rasputin, but that is no excuse, no excuse, for the criminal lack of att ... More >>

Charlie Sheen: A Guide to His Porn Stars (Some Are From Texas!)

Actor Charlie Sheen is either a true American hero or a drug-addicted, porn-obsessed monster, depending on who you ask. The Two and a Half Men star and one-time Oliver Stone muse was admitted to the hospital with extreme stomach pains in his most recent incident. That all came on the heels of what ... More >>

Charlie Sheen vs. Matthew McConnaughey: The Freak-Out Showdown

Onetime actor, current sitcom star Charlie Sheen was taken into custody in New York yesterday after trashing a Plaza Hotel suite, with hookers and other party favors abounding.California Penal​It's not bad as these things go, but how does it stand up to Texas' own Matthew McConnaughey's naked-bong ... More >>

RIP, Bob Guccione: Five Texan Penthouse Pets, In Your Honor

Teagan Presley, a Texan Penthouse Pet​Hair Balls is wearing sackcloth and ashes today in memory of Penthouse founder Bob Guccione, who shuffled off to the Great Stiffie in the Sky Wednesday at age 79.Maybe our sense of loss comes from the fact that we're old enough to remember ye ol ... More >>

The Week In TV: Charlie Sheen's Career Not Hurt By Punching Women

Back, for some reason​The dog days are here, people keep dying, and there's plenty of static on the dial. This was the week in TV Land:• When I was very young, my heart and soul were ruled by Thundercats. I even at one point made the regrettable decision to wear a watch featuring Lion-O to schoo ... More >>

Money, Marbles and Chalk! An Affectionate Sketch of Ann Richards

Actress Holland Taylor plays the late Texas governor

Stardeath & the White Dwarfs

The Week In TV: The Walking Dead (The New Series, Not Charlie Sheen)

​I'm slightly sunburned, spoiled by three-day weekends, and trying to figure out whether I want an iPad. This was the week in TV Land: • So, the iPad came out, as you have heard about from every news outlet imaginable, and several TV apps have already been announced. Yahoo's entertainment ... More >>

The Week In TV: Mad About Mad Men Barbie Dolls

The Barbie version of Joan appears to have just escaped from Dachau.​I have no idea what day it is, my veins run thick with taquitos, and I took my shirt off in public. This was the week in TV Land: • I'm a little amazed at the amount of TV I was able to watch this past week considering I' ... More >>

Pop Rocks: The Sublime Genius Of Heidi Montag

"Are you being ironic, dude?""I don't even know anymore."​So I see Heidi Montag's album dropped a couple of weeks ago.There will be more than a few of you who feel compelled to ask "Who?" when they hear that name. In that case, the first thing I'd like to do is welcome my Chinese readers who ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Why 2010 Is Going To Suck, Pt. 1

I know I'm not the only person who feels like high-fiving everyone at the end of the holiday season, heady with the triumph of having survived another two weeks of forced jocularity, awkward family moments, bad TV, and worse music. The new year, with it's promise of fresh opportunities to screw up a ... More >>

Look Out, (Really Minor) Lawbreakers: There's A Warrant Sweep Today

If you've been ignoring all those pesky notices about paying that traffic fine or dealing with that $10 hot check to Kroger's, better lay low today.HPD is having another of its occasional warrant round-ups, where they knock on doors or storm into cubicle farms to arrest hapless citizens who are ... More >>

Heavy Lifting

Cocky Cocktails at Anvil Bar & Refuge

Is She Really The "Heidi Fleiss of Houston"?

Photo courtesy HCSOSometimes one flip remark transforms things.One Houston cop calls a woman "The Heidi Fleiss of Houston," and the media goes nuts (Hey, including us.)But we're really not convinced Debbie Turbiville is up to Heidi Fleiss's standards.Until we see Joel Osteen's name on a credit-card ... More >>

Houston as a Movie Stand-In: The Top Five

Wow. Charlie Sheen is a Real Asshole.

Cold War Reheated

The Fun of Falling

On Location with Boy Rifkin

The director of The Chase considers Houston and Keaton