Charlie Sheen

The Taste Premiere: Sea Bass with Butterscotch for Anthony Bourdain

With television today overwhelmed by reality shows that feature everything from singing to dancing to racing around the world, it's no surprise that ABC has a new reality competition centered around cooking. The Taste is exactly like The Voice on NBC, except that instead of judging someone's voice b ... More >>

Christ, It's Another "Red Dawn"

North Korea (and audiences) go home unhappy.

Texan Porn Stars Share Their 4th of July Plans (Sadly, They Don't Involve Us)

Ah, the 4th -- a day for friends and family to hit the grill and the swimming pool; a day to celebrate what it truly means to be American. And besides burgers sizzling on the grill and the drunken detonation of fireworks that come perilously close to blowing off your hand, what's more American than ... More >>

Top 5 Old Musicians Actually Using Twitter

Like youth itself, Twitter is wasted on the young. But not everyone over 35 has completely tuned it out -- after a recent upgrade to a smartphone, even I'm using it now after years of Twitterphobia. (Hit me up at @ThePhantomTX.) Since I've been on, I've learned that most musicians have handed off t ... More >>

The Astros Allowing Outside Food Inside Next Season: Our Suggestions

The minor explosions you may have heard yesterday were the heads of Astros' fans imploding over news that new owner Jim Crane could possibly change the name of the franchise next season -- as well as its uniforms, ticket prices and Minute Maid Park's food policies. It's starting to feel like the beg ... More >>

Famous People's New Year's Resolutions (We Think)

Brunette in 2012?​Every year around this time, we go into New Year's Resolutions Mode, where we vow to lose that beer-belly, read more books, and hook up with at least one Kardashian. But Hair Balls is just regular folk, and no one's really interested in regular folk, which is why we're presen ... More >>

Rap Round Table: What Do You Want For Christmas, Rapper?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Z-Ro, C-Stone, Kyle Hubbard, D-Risha, Mr. Wired Up (Oh Boy), A.D.D., Marcus Manchil ... More >>

Rocks Off's Annual Descent Into Sunny 99.1's Christmas Music K-Hole

Since 2008, I have spent an hour listening to Sunny 99.1 FM's Christmas music for the Rocks Off blog. Right after Thanksgiving, it's the first thing on my checklist, right next to finding new, weird holiday music for you and trying not to gain 20 pounds in merriment by January. Most of the time on ... More >>

Bye Bye, Black Eyed Peas. And Take _____________ With You

I suppose "taking a break" before that Super Bowl performance was too much to ask: The Black Eyed Peas have denied rumors that they are breaking up but say they are taking a break from making music together for a while. "We are not breaking up," band member Taboo told Reuters on Monday at a lau ... More >>

Snoopcounters: Snoop Dogg Knows A Lot Of People

​This week, rapper Snoop Dogg turned 40 years old. Tha Doggfather actually seems ageless to us, and we don't mean his 1996 album. Like, we fully expect him to become the hip-hop Willie Nelson: Rapping into his late 70s, relentlessly touring, smoking people a fraction of his age out in tour bus ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, A Salute To TV Season Premieres

DWTS = this week's Philly-Giants game?​Television fascinates me. It seems like a new station pops up onto my channel grid every day to the point where I'm actually a little disappointed I haven't been approached by anyone to televise the Sean Network. I mean, doesn't everyone have their own ne ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 2 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (And A Jennifer Lopez Appearance)

2-0! (again)​I hope everyone had a good weekend of football. I was two plays away from going 6-0 on my picks, my alma mater finally won a game and the Texans are 2-0! On the flip side, college realignment struck a blow in my home part of the country, as the Big East that I grew up with essen ... More >>

2011 NFL Preview, Spoken In Wagering-ese

The betting window is open​I hope everyone who has had a chance to check out our Texans 2011 preview "The New Normal" has enjoyed it. Big ups to Monica Fuentes for coming up with the season-long interactive game card tracking Texans' results. You need to go check it out. If you haven't read ... More >>

Capsule Art Reviews: "Collections: Annual HSPVA Juried Show", "Dan Kopp: TIMEAWAY" and "Josh Bernstein: Galveston", Hardbodies, Marc Swanson: The Second Story, Mitch Dobrowner: New Work, Musicians Who Make Art

Capsule Stage Reviews: Arline Fisch: Creatures from the Deep, Hardbodies, "Liz Hickok: Jiggling Geography", Lynda Benglis: Glass Masks, Marc Swanson: The Second Story, "Mitch Dobrowner: New Work", "Musicians Who Make Art"

Where to Meet a Houston Millionaire

An evening at the Petroleum Club.​Of all the cities in all the countries in all the world, Houston is attracting the most millionaires. Houston's millionaire population swelled 9.6% in just one year, according to Forbes. There are now 96,700 millionaires living in our city. Of course, the maj ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Trump's Out -- Bridging the 2012 Asshole Gap

Now we'll never know what his currency would have looked like.​With apologies to Richard Adams: My heart has joined the Thousand. Donald Trump stopped running today: "After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the presidency," Trump announced in ... More >>

Anatomy Of A Hoax: No Rebecca Black At The Galleria

​Fool me once, shame on me... A while back, Rocks Off heard that the tween-meme queen of YouTube, Rebecca Black of "Friday" fame, was doing a mall tour that included a stop at the Galleria today. So we kind of shrugged and said "huh." Not our thing, but you know, kids these days. We talked i ... More >>

MAM'S House of Ice: Open for Business

​The Tweets prompting me to visit MAM'S House of Ice started several weeks ago. With a Twitter handle like @snowcones, it's not too surprising, I suppose. The first thing I learned when I finally visited MAM'S is that they don't make sno-cones, they make sno-balls -- and they've been serving t ... More >>

Texans Draft 2011 -- Defensive End Is The New Tight End

Every rose has its thorn, such as Rick Smith​Last night, John Granato, Lance Zierlein and I were doing our annual NFL Draft show from Wild Wing Cafe in Katy. Like most seasons, we didn't have to wait very long for the Texans to make their pick. (Actually to be fair, the last few seasons, we've ... More >>

Five Presidents Who Could Kick Chuck Norris's Ass

Abe Lincoln: Let's get rrrrready to rrrrumble​In our continuing series of scholarly meditations on the United States Presidency, we now bring you a list of five presidents who could kick the crap out of Chuck Norris. Of note: only one of the top five served after 1908, although two honorable m ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Condition Critical

"There are rules for policemen. I mean, critics."​While looking for ways to avoid writing about Charlie Sheen again researching topics for today's column, I found myself going through Roger Ebert's web site over at the Chicago Sun-Times. Christ, but that guy writes a lot. He was fairly prolif ... More >>

ATF, Military Called Out To Defuse East Texas Sparkler Bomb

San Augustine County JailHeather Horn: Desperate terrorist​Two young East Texas women -- 25-year-old Candice Harris and 29-year-old Heather Horn, both of Bronson, Texas -- are charged with felonies after authorities caught them earlier this week with what they are branding as dangerous incendi ... More >>

Seven Movie Roles We Think Would Be Perfect for Nicki Minaj

All work and no play make Nicki something something...​Hip hop artist Nicki Minaj might be getting an opportunity to use the drama skills she acquired when she was studying acting at the performing arts high school she attended in New York. She's already exhibited her acting skills in two of h ... More >>

Odd Pairs: Ten Upcoming Nights of Music Bring Wild Variations

Photo by groovehouseTry to guess who's playing the same night as Toadies.​Diversity is a big deal in H-Town. In fact, our cultural diversity creates such a wide variety of musical styles, it is hard to figure out just what kind of music town we are. In places like Memphis, Nashville, Seattle a ... More >>

More Local Music News Than Final Four Traffic Snarls

Buxton mixing their new album in L.A.​The Final Four descends upon Houston this weekend. Oh, if there were only four feeds we had to follow to bring all this lovely Houston music news to everyone. Instead, MCM crawls through more feeds than there are colleges in the NCAA, gathering up every bi ... More >>

Rebecca Black: 5 Reasons We Should Have Seen Her Coming

​If you're on the Internet - and it would be tricky for you to be reading this if you weren't - you've undoubtedly become familiar with one Rebecca Black. If not, allow us to acquaint you. This should do it. She's done us one favor: She's eclipsed Charlie Sheen as the nation's object of twist ... More >>

NCAA Days Three and Four -- Winners and Losers

March madness underway.​Well, I'm guessing that this past weekend of basketball is not how the money people behind the Final Four's coming to Houston drew it up on the chalkboard. In a tournament that already had last year's regional darling Baylor on the outside looking in, the only two Te ... More >>

Chilling Spree

Richmond bar you've driven by 100 times is a hidden gem.

Heights Art Heist Update

Lawyers loom, tempers flare

My Advice for NFL Players

Don't take these magic moments away, Players Union​In the battle for NFL labor supremacy, I'm rooting for football. I'm rooting for order in my world, and my entertainment to remain untouched. However, forced to choose a side, I am rooting for the players. I don't know if I represent Joe NFL ... More >>

Five Terrible Rap Acts Who Will Never Crack the "Diddy List"

The Super Broker Shuffle: Your eyes and ears will never forgive you​I'm a sucker for lists, I've said that before. If it makes me a less cerebral person, so be it. I'm not apologizing. For a "list addict" like myself, Forbes magazine is like a big plate of list cocaine. They'll come up with a ... More >>

Scott Stewart: Front Porch Fracas Over Crack Cash Lands Lufkin Man in Jail

Scott Stewart: The pepper balls did him in​While Scott Stewart might not charge much in rent, the 38-year-old East Texas landlord definitely does prove that adage that you get what you pay for. And there's another old chestnut his alleged actions would seem to buttress, one first uttered by fu ... More >>

Pre-Bieber, Five Memorable Musician Interview Gaffes

​Remember in the days before "Bi-winning," when Twitter was all up in arms about Justin Beiber's interview with Rolling Stone? Was it really a surprise that some of the pop star's opinions, as told to the magazine last month, would be half-baked and maybe even a bit ignorant? Put aside for a ... More >>

Saturday Night: By The End Of Tonight Reunion At Fitzgerald's

Photos by Marc Brubaker​By The End Of Tonight, Young Mammals, B L A C K I E, Art Füx, Caddywhompus Fitzgerald's March 5, 2011 By the end of the show on Saturday night, there was no longer any potential energy left in Fitzgerald's upstairs room; it had been entirely converted into kinetic fo ... More >>

Gadhafi: Libya's a Lot Like Waco

Gadhafi has Waco on his mind​Libya leader Muammar Gadhafi, (a.k.a. He Of Many Spellings), the absolute top man these days for giving bizarre speeches who isn't named Charlie Sheen, rocked the house again today. In a sprawling speech that sometimes, but not too often, flirted with reality, Ga ... More >>

Oscar Night 2011: The Live Blog!

​We are only less than three hours out from bringing you live-blogging coverage, right here, of this year's Academy Awards, and we are more than excited to take you through the night for every win, loss, awful dress, awesome dress, foible, and foul-up Hollywood throws our way.

Useless Report

Study of Teach For America's worth says little.

Houston Texans - Kubiak Believes In Bush (and #Kubiakbelievesinyou)

Guess which one the Texans are!​"I believe in him (defensive coordinator Frank Bush). I think we played much better defense. I think if we finished the game, we'd be talking about how much better we were. There were a lot of good things that went on. I believe in the guy. That's why he's here ... More >>

Wall Street Bailout

Stone's sequel lets the bad guys off easy.

Five Disturbing Films, Plus Five More For Good Measure

​I'm going to the unrated remake of I Spit On Your Grave next week. The original, I should point out, was rated "R", though I still doubt the new one will pack the same punch the first one did back in 1978 (Roger Ebert described sitting through it as "one of the most depressing experiences of ... More >>

This Week In TV: Joss Whedon Is A Free Man

It's been nice knowing you, Dollhouse. Now how about that Serenity sequel, Whedon?​It's way too cold outside, I can't believe I'm back at work, and I've already braved one after-Christmas sale. This was the week in TV Land: • I watched the finale of The Sing-Off. That's how little there was ... More >>

Taking That La-Z-Boy Out for a Drunken Spin? Don't Forget the Tunes!

Where are the cup holders?​As part of our court-appointed public service, we at Rocks Off don't condone driving while intoxicated. But if you must get behind the wheel after having a few, there are far worse things to be driving than a La-Z-Boy. From Yahoo! news this morning: "A Minnesota man has ... More >>

Denise Richards is Getting Her Own Reality Show…Next Up, My Postal Carrier Inks a Deal with E!

Miss Pop Rocks Has the Flu

Feeling Feverish?

Pop-Punk Penance

A cool kid seeks heavenly redemption

Pitch Black Beauty

This sci-fi funfest finds plenty of action

$tocks and Bonding

Boiler Room steams with the stark greed of go-for-brokers

The Whoo-oo Highway