Chris Brown

R.I.P. Paul Bearer, 1954-2013: The Definitive Video Anthology Of His WWE Career

In news that when transcribed sounds like some sort of weird mix between a scene from Inception and a webcam installed in Vince McMahon's brain, William Moody, an actual trained mortician turned wrestling manager by the name of "Paul Bearer" and longtime WWE manager of the legendary Undertaker, died ... More >>

Texans-Packers: ALL NEW BATTLE-DRINK Bingo Drinking Card

The Texans come back this Sunday night to play the Green Bay Packers on the dreaded "short work week," having just played the New York Jets on Monday night. Much like the players having to summon all of their recuperative powers to be near the top of their game on Sunday, so too must you, the weeken ... More >>

Football Is Back! Texans Preseason Week One: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

At this point in the season, it's more about effort than execution. We're all rusty, even the media. Hell, Saturday night alone one local sports anchor mistook Keshawn Martin being the rookie wide receiver who was suspended last year instead of DeVier Posey (tweets deleted), the Houston Chronicle ... More >>

Fantasy Land

A green amusement park was supposed to bring prosperity to New Caney, but so far, only a few have profited. And it still exists only on paper.

Houston Texans Grieving Process 3.0: At Least We're Not This 49er Fan

It's been a couple weeks, but perhaps some of you are still smarting from the Texans' loss to the Ravens ending their two-game playoff run. As I expressed from the day after that game, there are lots of ways to cope with a loss, but to me the best way is taking some semblance of pleasure in the pai ... More >>

Houston Texans "Super Bowl Tattoo Guy" Speaks in the Aftermath of the 2011 Season

In the aftermath of the Texans' 20-13 loss to the Ravens last Sunday, the question I was asked most frequently by my Twitter followers (other than the terms and conditions of Jacoby Jones's contract) was, "What do you think 'Texans Super Bowl Tattoo Guy' is thinking?" Truth be told, after any poten ... More >>

4 Thoughts On The Houston Texan Fan With Crazy Tattoo Courage

Photos by Anna Megan RaleyGreater love hath no man​Anytime I post about tattoos, I always feel the need to preface the post by saying that I don't dislike tattoos, and most certainly don't judge nor dislike people with tattoos. I really just don't understand them. I mean, when you get a tatto ... More >>

Houston Texans 2010 -- ....And Boom Goes The Dynamite

Texans fans are like Pavlov's dog​"I told them that we're playing for our pride these next three weeks, and there's a hell of a lot of pride in that room. We will play well. We will work hard and we will play well." -- Gary Kubiak after Monday night's 34-28 loss to the Baltimore Ravens And ... More >>

Jaguars 31, Texans 24: Were You Even Surprised?

Hail Mary, full of grace....​Until eight days ago, it still felt different. Sure, the Texans were 4-3 and coming off a rough loss to the Colts. But until then, when the Texans had been beaten, they were clearly the lesser team -- losing by at least 13 points to physically superior opponents o ... More >>

Houston Texans -- R.I.P. 2010

Dr. Kubler-Ross is here to see you, Texan fans​In her 1969 book Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross describes in detail the five stages of dealing with grief and tragedy. Simply put, the human progression is to exhibit feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (like ... More >>

Texans 2010 Preview: Not So Fast With The High Hopes

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherRemember, optimists, Gary Kubiak is still coaching​It's not bad enough that the Texans are starting this season with what is projected to be the toughest schedule in the NFL. Or that the Texans are starting out with Brian Cushing on the suspended list for the first four g ... More >>

Our Year

Will Texans make it to playoffs?

Game Time: Houston Texans: Seven Things To Watch In OTA's

Photo by Mark C. AustinYou can't spell OTAs without Houston!! (And an 'A' from somewhere​My first Cushing-free football blog post in a couple weeks -- now I know how Pedro Gomez felt after Barry Bonds retired. "What the hell am I going to talk about???"Thankfully, the Texans start voluntary organ ... More >>

Game Time: We Interrupt This Tebow Documentary For Seven Other Reasons To Watch The Senior Bowl

​Every year around this time, NFL prospects gather in Mobile, Alabama for the beginning of what amounts to a three-month job interview, complete with numerous forty-yard dashes, questions about their upbringing, and requests to "cough while I stick my fingers right...HERE!" It's a fascinating tim ... More >>

Like Everyone Else, Texans Kicker Kris Brown Knew He Had A Problem This Year

​So let me see if I understand this: Kris Brown knew that he had a mechanical problem of some kind with his kicking, but he elected not to do anything about it because, like a golfer who doesn't want to make mechanical adjustments between rounds, a kicker doesn't want to make mechanical adjust ... More >>

Game Time: Come! Watch The Amazing Vince Young Water Down Matt Schaub's Pro Bowl Bid!

​For better or worse, the Texans are still at a stage in their history where they are experiencing some "exciting but for most teams not really extraordinary" things for the first time. This will happen when the first four years of your eight-year existence were spent being constructed by Char ... More >>

HISD Crossing Guards Will Get Their Due!

​The city of Houston is supposed to pick up the tab for Houston ISD's school crossing guards. The state decided this a few years back; in fact, for a while the city operated the program itself, but in a spirit of cooperation (and common sense) it ceded that duty to the school district and then rei ... More >>

Texans 34, Patriots 27: Progress But No Playoffs

Photo by Mark C. Austin​The Texans legitimately won nine games. The New York Jets legitimately won seven. The Texans displayed tremendous heart on Sunday in rallying past a Patriots team playing its starters and remaining aggressive almost throughout, while the Jets were given a handout for ... More >>

Texans 27, Dolphins 20: So Close, Yet So Far

​One game. One of two missed Kris Brown field goals. One of two Chris Brown rushing attempts from a yard out. A ridiculous Chris Brown pass on first and goal in Jacksonville. Take away any of those -- just one -- and the Texans are most likely 9-6 and controlling their own playoff destiny hea ... More >>

Game Time: Defend Gary Kubiak? I'll Take A Stab At It

​Much has been made about Gary Kubiak's alleged hell, fire and brimstone speech he gave to the Texans in Saturday's team meeting before Sunday's workmanlike 34-7 win against the Seattle Seahawks. Actually, I didn't see the speech, so to portray it as "win one for the Gipper 2009" may not be entire ... More >>

Titans 20, Texans 17: It's The Trenches, Stupid

​It would be easy to blame Kris Brown.It would be easy to chalk it up to an inspired homecoming performance by Vince Young. It would be easy to criticize several iffy playcalls by offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan and coach Gary Kubiak, including a decision to effectively kneel down before the f ... More >>

Game Time: Stop Me If You've Heard This Before -- So The Texans Are Going To Tie The Game....

​There are certain teams around the NFL where having the national stage all to themselves -- say, on a Thursday night, Sunday night, or especially on Monday night -- is seen as just another day at the office. To teams like the Colts, Patriots, Giants, and a handful of others, the prime-time stage ... More >>

Houston Dance Club Rich's Shut Down for Apparent Nonpayment of Taxes; Liquor License Suspended; May Reopen Tomorrow

Update: According to the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission's Web site, Rich's - listed as owned by MZM Nightlife, Inc. - has had its liquor license suspended. The license was scheduled to expire on November 29. Son LamDancers enjoying Halloween at Rich's​Rocks Off received an email this morning ... More >>

Rich's Closed Over Tax Dispute, Possibly Only For A Short While

Son LamDancers enjoying Halloween at Rich's​Hair Balls received an email this morning that longstanding Houston dance club Rich's had been shut down. So far all the information we have been able to gather has come from social-networking sites. The incident appears to have happened Saturday night ... More >>

Whirlwind Weekend: See What You Missed

Whether you hit the Lebowski Bash on Friday night, the Westheimer Block Party on Saturday night or the Chris Brown (!!!) concert at the House of Blues, or whether you just shook your ass on the dance floor at Venue or Mantra, here's a sampling of the weekend in photos. Photo by Katharine Sh ... More >>

Game Time: Friday Broken Glass

​Just cleaning up some random broken glass in my "Blog" folder on a Friday ... Can You Guess This Team? Channeling my inner Cosmo Kramer... WHO WANTS TO HAVE SOME FUN?! Ok, well, I'm going to describe a fairly well known football team to many of you, and after I'm finished describing them, s ... More >>

Texans Refuse To Lose Easily, Instead Opting To Rip Your Heart Out

​Now these are the Houston Texans we've grown to know and not love.A week after uncharacteristically taking care of business in a game they were supposed to do so against Oakland, the Texans laid an egg in the desert on Sunday, losing 28-21 to Arizona. But of course, that only tells part of the st ... More >>

The Office: The Knot Is Finally Tied!

​Well, the long-awaited wedding episode of The Office, "Niagara," has come and gone, and it was one of the strongest episodes to date. There were plenty of vintage awkward moments, sexual shenanigans, thwarted ambitions, broken hearts, and the same small underlying sweetness that's been there ... More >>

A Cruel Perfumed World of Amazon Women: Auditions for America's Next Top Model

Photos by Katya HornerPerfecting the vapid mannequin look​On Saturday morning women of all races, creeds, and subcultures converged on the Hilton Post Oak near the Galleria to take their crack at professional modeling. The producers and talent scouts for the Tyra Banks-helmed America's Next To ... More >>

What To Look For If You're Looking At The Texans And Saints

Photo by wackykramer​It's time for preseason game number two for the Houston Texans. This week, they're taking on the New Orleans Saints. The two teams have been practicing against each other this week, and yesterday, things got a bit heated as there were multiple fights punctuated by Saints tight ... More >>

25 Key Things To Watch For In The Texans' Pre-Season Opener

​With the Houston Texans kicking off pre-season play tomorrow night, I thought I would throw out a list of 25 things to watch or listen for during the game.1. Does Matt Schaub make it through two series of plays without any type of injury?2. What kind of stupid catchphrase is radio voice Marc Vand ... More >>

Artist of the Week: Benjamin

Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to introducingliston@gmail.com. It didn't strike us u ... More >>

Houston Blows Up Real Good

Photo by foxtongueThe awesomely morbid folks at Carlos Labs have created a "Ground Zero" nightmare generator for every city on Earth. Using Java Script and some Google Map magic, anyone can pinpoint a location in the world, AND BLOW IT THE HELL UP. You can choose your own weapon of mass destruction ... More >>

Aftermath: The Killers at Verizon Wireless Theater

Photos by Torey Mundkowsky Next year this decade will be over, and very few new bands have distinguished themselves either at the turnstiles or the cash register. Even one of the main ones that has, the Killers, chose to hit the theater circuit this winter after releasing its th ... More >>

Texans-Cowboys: Yeah, It’s Only Preseason

Turning the Screw: Lower Life Form, Slim Thug, R.I.P. Bernie Mac, Chris Brown & T.I. Team Up, Master P and More

Turning the Screw: H.I.S.D., Ludacris and Obama, KRS-One, Dogg Pound, Outlawz, Biggie Smalls and More

Lessons to the Left

Young conservatives start to monitor liberal college profs