Cincinnati Bengals

Early Betting Lines On NFL Weeks 1 Through 16

It's always good to get in on something at the beginning, at the ground floor. In the world of sports wagering, for bettors equally long on hubris and illness (gambling is a sickness, my friends), some betting outlets realize that no time is too soon to put out lines on NFL games. The draft just en ... More >>

Texans-Patriots, The Rematch: Top 5 Ways For This Outcome To Be Different

We know, we know. The last time these two teams met, the Patriots slaughtered the Texans along the same lines of what Alabama did to Notre Dame earlier this week. That doesn't mean it will automatically happen again. Even in New England. Want evidence? It doesn't take going back very far. In Decem ... More >>

Texans-Bengals: 4 Winners, 4 Losers, Playoff Edition

In the grand scheme of things, none of us really wanted to be there at Reliant Stadium on Saturday. Yes, the NFL is awesome, and we love our Texans, and it was (cue hokey Clay Walker voice) football time in Hoooussston!! But up until the time Christian Ponder was scrambling around the Texans' defens ... More >>

Texans-Bengals: The 10 Best Rapper PLAYOFF Tweets

Houston has a professional football team. They are called the Houston Texans. A lot of people like them. Some of the people that like them are rappers. The Internet has several forms of social media; one is called Twitter. A lot of people use it. Some of them who use it are rappers. Same as we've ... More >>

Texans 19, Bengals 13: Bulls On Parade Are Back, But Schaub Holds Key

Make no mistake about it. For the first time in weeks, the Texans showed flashes of their former Super Bowl-contending selves. But without a steadier performance from quarterback Matt Schaub, it won't matter. The once-famed "Bulls on Parade" defense overwhelmed Cincinnati (10-7) and second-year qu ... More >>

Texans-Bengals, Act III: Same Names, But New Identities

After a season of lofty hopes and expectations of a home AFC Championship game, the Texans find themselves in the exact same spot they were one year ago. They're the number three seed in the AFC playoffs, opening at Reliant Stadium against number six Cincinnati. The Texans thrashed the Bengals, 31 ... More >>

NFL Playoff Scenarios: A Guide To This Sunday

Week 17 of the NFL season is upon us this weekend, and while there are still plenty of moving (or potentially moving) parts left to be slotted, the one thing we are sure of is that in the NFC the Atlanta Falcons will have a first round bye and home field throughout the playoffs. The Texans have to ... More >>

AFC Playoff Projections, Week 7: First One Onto The Colts Bandwagon!

When Peyton Manning and the Broncos stormed back with 35 unanswered points in the second half of their 35-24 Monday night win against the Chargers this week, they accomplished a few things: 1. They tied an NFL record for the largest comeback win by a road team in NFL history. 2. They evened their ... More >>

The Five Most Annoying Tweeters During a Sporting Event

When the Texans were putting it to the Bengals on Saturday, the streams of twittering Houstonians were likely filled with posts about the game. Like people who tweet during any live event, there were insightful moments, irritating moments and downright stupid moments. Reading Twitter was like going ... More >>

Texans 31, Bengals 10: Andre Johnson's Return Sparks Offensive Revival

Andre Johnson was poised to assume the role of feel-good story in any Texan playoff win, regardless of how it came about. Nine seasons of brilliant play that (until now) had been overshadowed by team-wide failures can have that effect. For the first time in months, though, Houston's star receiver a ... More >>

Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend's 4 Winners and 4 Losers

All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss most of the season. Then you rip ... More >>

JJ Watt & Pacman Jones Lead Texans To First Playoff Victory Ever

JJ Watt's hands: Worth a number-one draft pick​A packed, loud and raucous Reliant Stadium crowd saw the highlight of rookie JJ Watt's life as the defensive lineman's incredible pick-six led the Texans to a 31-10 playoff win. Equally helping Houston's cause was Benglas corner Pacman Jones, who ... More >>

Texans-Bengals: Five Matchups to Watch, and a Prediction

If he can dream...​The last time the city of Houston hosted an NFL playoff game -- or even had a team playing in one -- it came under very different circumstances than what will transpire Saturday afternoon. Unlike the 10-6 Texans, who slide into the playoffs on a 3-game losing streak, the 12 ... More >>

Texans, Saints and Tebow! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets

PLAYOFFS?!?!!? Oh, yeah​So is Houston ready for some playoff football? How about we go through the Reliant Stadium checklist for Saturday's game with the Bengals to find out. Notifications to season ticket holders to be in their seats 30 minutes before kickoff? Check. Colored placards in sea ... More >>

Texans-Bengals Part 2: Why Conventional Wisdom Is Wrong

In national NFL circles, the apparent lead storyline for this weekend's Wild Card opener seems to be Cincinnati's opportunity to atone for their December 11 collapse against the Texans. Upon a closer look back, it's Houston that has the most to make up for. The clash in Cincinnati wasn't an exampl ... More >>

Texans, Pats & Tebow: This Weekend's Best Bets, NFL Edition

God, let these picks come through​Witness the go-to move for a blog contributor who is technically on vacation but still likes to keep his commitment of five posts a week to his freelance employer because he loves them and loves money. Not one, but TWO posts worth of football predictions! To ... More >>

NFL Week 17 Viewing Guide -- What in the Blue Hell Each Game Means

"College football has the best regular season of any sport, and the lack of a playoff is one big reason why." -- Bill Hancock, Executive Director, Bowl Cartel Championship Series That's my favorite inane argument against a college football playoff -- that somehow the existence of a playoff cheapens ... More >>

Texans/Bengals -- 4 Winning Plays That Never Would Have Happened in 2010

T.J. Yates is on a roll.​Sunday morning, about an hour before the Texans and Bengals kicked off, I was driving to the grocery store with my girlfriend Amy to pick up some "Texans watching" supplies -- chips, sandwich paraphernalia, beverages, etc. (Xanax no longer necessary this season.) Unsol ... More >>

5 Quick Thoughts On The Great Carson Palmer Heist

Carson Palmer: Now rehabbing his rep​It's weird, as great as the National Football League has been, the one thing that the NBA and, to an even greater extent, Major League Baseball have had over the NFL for as long as I can remember is a compelling trade in-season trade deadline. In-season fo ... More >>

2011 NFL Preview, Spoken In Wagering-ese

The betting window is open​I hope everyone who has had a chance to check out our Texans 2011 preview "The New Normal" has enjoyed it. Big ups to Monica Fuentes for coming up with the season-long interactive game card tracking Texans' results. You need to go check it out. If you haven't read ... More >>

More NFL Owner Premature "Celebra-culation" As Lockout Rolls On

​So, the NFL owners ratified the proposed collective bargaining agreement on Thursday afternoon. Instead of following up that approval with a brief, measured statement from commissioner Roger Goodell (an appropriate follow-up since the deal is not done until the players approve it), the owners ... More >>

The Five Worst Musical NFL Players

myspace.com/freereignFree Reign, or "God's Revenge"​Professional football players dabbling in music? What could possibly go wrong? Glad you asked. You did ask, right? 5. Ben Utecht, Cincinnati Bengals Ben Utecht suffered a concussion while working out with the Cincinnati Bengals and decide ... More >>

GAME TIME: Texans-Cowboys -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresYour face-painting will be in vain!​It's the preseason and we must remember that the Dallas Cowboys are making a return trip to Reliant Stadium in about a month, so let's not get crazy over what the Texans' 23-7 manhandling of the Cowboys on Saturday night means in the big pic ... More >>

Texans 34, Patriots 27: Progress But No Playoffs

Photo by Mark C. Austin​The Texans legitimately won nine games. The New York Jets legitimately won seven. The Texans displayed tremendous heart on Sunday in rallying past a Patriots team playing its starters and remaining aggressive almost throughout, while the Jets were given a handout for ... More >>

Game Time: At That Moment, Jerry....I Tell You, The Texans WERE A Playoff Team!

"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you Jerry at that moment I was a marine bio ... More >>

Game Time: Sure Thing...Betting The Opposite Of The Village Idiot

​If you're keeping track, you know that I've been sucking on my football picks since I started posting here at Hair Balls. My sincere hope is that all of you are doing the smart thing and running to the pay window with picks the exact opposite of mine, and laughing gleefully while doing so. I dese ... More >>

Texans Finally Put Two Halves Together; Defense Finds Pulse

​After three weeks of the season, the Texans were on a pace to allow more total yards and more yards rushing than any team in NFL history.So who the hell are these guys? And more importantly, have the guys calling the shots figured something out?The Texans' defense pitched a third consecutive ... More >>

Some Praise For the Houston Texans (No, Really!)

Photo by William Holtkamp Many of you out there probably think that I hate the Texans. But I don't. I just hold them to a high standard. A standard that I think everybody should apply to them. That said, I'm not here to criticize the Houston Texans today. No, I'm actually about to say some nice ... More >>

Don’t Forget Your Texans History

John Royal's NFL Power Rankings

John Royal's NFL Power Rankings

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 16: Super Mario Snubbed, But That’s a Good Thing

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 15: Tomahawk Chop, Baby Jesus and One Grisly Neck Beard

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week 15: Texans Are Gonna Get Bucked

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 13: Are There Not 32 Men in This Country Worthy of Being Starting QBs?

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week 13: Rushing More Than Ricky Williams

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 12: Lions, Turducken and Bears...

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week Nine: Tony Romo and Britney Spears? Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen? Vince Young and David Carr? What’s the Deal with All These Mismatches?

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week Eight: Staring Zeus in the Eye, Daring Him to Flinch

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Seven: Sorry, Mario. Even If Vince Young Doesn't Play, It's Gonna Be a Tough One.

John Royal’s Pigheaded Pigskin Picks, Week Six: Loving and Hating the Cowboys

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Four: Betting on the Houston Texans. What? Why Are You Surprised?

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Three: Colts, Chargers and Greeks

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week Three: Approaching the Promised Land

John Royal's NFL Picks: Week Two

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks: Week Two

Weekend # 2

Madonna Shines Ray of Light on Texans

Finally! Mock Draft Version 5.0

Trading Spaces: Mock Draft Version 4.0