Colt McCoy

Football U: The Battle of the Top 2

Football U: The Battle of the Top 2

Football U: Texas Roundup, and Then Some

Texas College Football Report, Whining Aggie Edition

More Genius Rankings from the BCS

The Best Barbecue Sandwich in Texas

I'm saying the Bohemian Special at Mustang Creek B-B-Q on Highway 59 in Louise is the best barbecue sandwich in Texas. It excels by virtue of architecture alone--a mound of sliced brisket is topped with lengthwise slices of smoked Prasek's sausage and topped with thick raw onion slices and dill p ... More >>

BCS Bill in Congress? About Time Our Politicos Got to the Important Stuff

The nation is in peril. There's still the threat of terrorism. The military is mired in two wars. The economy is falling apart. Rich banking execs are getting bonuses for their failing businesses -- bonuses being paid by taxpayer money -- and the auto industry is on the verge of collapse. But if ... More >>

Longhorns Can't Brag About Buckeye Victory

I want to thank The Ohio State Buckeyes. Sure, they lost to the Texas Longhorns, but because the Longhorns needed a bad spot by the referees to help get the victory, I'm pretty damn sure that the country has been saved from listening to Longhorn fans bitch about not playing for the BCS Title. Beca ... More >>

Longhorns Can't Brag About Buckeye Victory

I want to thank The Ohio State Buckeyes. Sure, they lost to the Texas Longhorns, but because the Longhorns needed a bad spot by the referees to help get the victory, I'm pretty damn sure that the country has been saved from listening to Longhorn fans bitch about not playing for the BCS Title. Beca ... More >>

At Least One Football Team In Town Is Supposed To Be Good This Year (Hint: They Don't Get Paid)

​Most of Houston's football focus is going to the Houston Texans, who are once again striving to produce an actual winning season. But there are several other football teams in Houston, and today, one of those teams officially reports for preseason camp.The team in question is the Houston Cougars, ... More >>

Five Reasons The Longhorns Won't Win The BCS Title This Year

​Finally -- after what seems a wait of approximately five years -- college football is back.The New York Times, of all people, has picked the UT Longhorns as the Number One team in the nation. A lot of other experts, not to mention Red Bull-swilling, Cheeto-chomping, Mom-avoiding bloggers, pick UT ... More >>

Vanity License Plates: A Place To Tout Things You Like

Photo courtesy EDSBS​ A few days ago, the sterling college-football blog EDSBS (Every Day Should Be Saturday) noted a vanity plate designed for alumni of the University of Virginia. It had a large "V" decal on the left side, as all UVa plates do; the owner then purchased a vanity plate with the le ... More >>

Five Reasons Notre Dame Will Win The BCS This Year And Texas Won't: Part 2

​I admit, there will be Tuesday mornings when it will be difficult to write this item each week. Luckily, today isn't one of them.In Week Two of the college-football season, Notre Dame continued effortlessly along its well-planned path to the BCS title, while UT stumbled badly.It remains to be see ... More >>

Five Reasons Notre Dame Will Win The BCS This Year And Texas Won't: Part 5

​College football's Top Ten this year has been a holy mess -- some crummy teams have been ranked highly (Ole Miss, Cal), others haven't (Miami, Iowa).UT has stayed steadily in the number-two spot, mostly by playing no one of any worth whatsoever. (Even UH beat Tech, and UH couldn't even beat UTEP. ... More >>

Five Reasons Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And UT Won't: Part 6

​Catch up on previous posts through the links last week.It was a difficult week to gauge the relative strength of the Longhorns and Irish, since both teams had a bye week. The Irish had what is known as a "real" bye week; the Longhorns played Colorado, which is the same thing. (For you non-Buffs f ... More >>

Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And Texas Won't: Part 7

​We're a little late getting up this week's analysis of why Notre Dame is destined to win the BCS, but that's only because we have such a cornucopia of reasons to choose from we found it difficult to limit it to our standard five.But five it shall be. We are, after all, traditionalists.So why shou ... More >>

Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And Texas Won't, Part 8

​We didn't watch the Longhorns this weekend, we have to admit. Subjecting the country to a prime-time match-up of UT and Missouri seemed unnecessarily cruel, but such is the heartless world we live in these days.But we're assuming two things: First, UT won, because come on, it's Missouri. And seco ... More >>

Game Time: Weekend Review

​I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you were all able to enjoy the nice weather by moving your television and recliner into your driveway to watch football on TV.  I'd like to start off by welcoming the Texans to this new thing for them called "November".  Boys, I know in ... More >>

Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS Title And Texas Won't: Part Nine

​We have documented weekly just how Notre Dame is moving inexorably towards a BCS championship while UT is deluding itself that it is doing so.Today, though, we discuss why ND's road may be harder.We have discovered, shockingly, that the pernicious influence of the KKK and other such anti-Catholic ... More >>

Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And Texas Won't, Part Ten

​This was a tough, tough week for the BCS title hopes of Texas. They played at, what -- 11 in the morning? (Again? What are these guys, some effete "Brunch Bunch"?) They played against some directional Florida school? While Oklahoma was exposing itself as worthless, therefore destroying UT's stren ... More >>

UH's Case Keenum -- What's A Dude Got To Do To Get Some Heisman Love?

​The end of the college football season is fast approaching, and the rest of the nation is finally learning something that Houston Cougar fans have known all season. The best player in the country isn't Colt McCoy or Tim Tebow. The best player is Case Keenum.Several sites which poll Heisman vote ... More >>

Game Time: Road Trip Edition

​At some point, there is an age you reach where climbing into an SUV with three of your buddies to drive a ridiculous distance to a backwater town to watch football, drink beer, fart, and pretend you're 22 again becomes old. I don't know what age that is, I just know I haven't reached it yet.Las ... More >>

Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS Title Next YearAnd UT Won't, Part 10

​It's been a fun nine weeks, watching the slow, tortuous slide into mediocrity of the Longhorn football program, even as its deluded fans continue to fantasize about a BCS title, completely unaware that Notre Dame is breathing down their back ready to take that title away.Next year.It turns out we ... More >>

Coogs Roll Easily, Still Have Title Shot

Photo courtesy UH​According to Houston Cougars head coach Kevin Sumlin, his team has yet to play a perfect game. Saturday, the Cougars defeated the Memphis Tigers 55-14 in what was easily their most dominating performance of the season.So, coach, was this game perfect?"Now looking at it, it ... More >>

UH Football And Basketball Have Big Weekends On Tap

​One season is ending. One season is just beginning. But for the Houston Cougars, it's a big Thanksgiving weekend either way with the football team playing for the C-USA West title, and the basketball team up in Alaska playing against Big 12 power Oklahoma in the Great Alaska Shootout on Thurs ... More >>

Sports Things To Be Thankful For, And Not Thankful For

​It's that time of year when we start to look back at the events that have happened. And since it's Thanksgiving, I thought I would give a list of sports things for which I'm thankful, as well as listing a few of the turkeys of the year. So...1. I'm thankful for the MLB Network. The network and it ... More >>

Game Time: Thanksgiving Leftovers -- Longhorns Vs, Aggies, Sports-Talk Shuffle, Best Bets

​I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I want to belatedly thank everyone who listens to my show (3-7 weekdays on 1560 The Game, just in case), thank everyone who takes the time to read my posts here on Hair Balls, and thank all of the athletes, coaches, and fellow broadcasters who continu ... More >>

Longhorns Join The Undeserved-Victory Hall Of Fame

​The UT Longhorns will be playing in the BCS title game, thanks to a thoroughly undeserved win against Nebraska for the Big 12 championship, such as it is.How badly did the Horns play? Against a completely mediocre Cornhusker team, the vaunted Horns offense was utterly stymied. QB Colt McCoy threw ... More >>

Game Time: Longhorns, All I Ask Is That You Take Your Ass-Kicking Like Men

​First and foremost, I want to congratulate the University of Texas football team, their fans, their alumni. Regardless of how it got done, on Saturday night you scored 13 points, Nebraska scored 12, and by virtue of 13 being greater than 12, you now find yourselves making reservations for Pasad ... More >>

Game Time: Previewing College Football Awards Night

​Last night, the Rotary Lombardi Award for the top lineman in college football was given to Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. To anyone who watched him play this year, or even just watched him rag-doll and chokeslam the Texas offensive line in the Big XII championship game, Suh's winning th ... More >>

Game Time: Sure Thing...Betting The Opposite Of The Village Idiot

​If you're keeping track, you know that I've been sucking on my football picks since I started posting here at Hair Balls. My sincere hope is that all of you are doing the smart thing and running to the pay window with picks the exact opposite of mine, and laughing gleefully while doing so. I dese ... More >>

New Notre Dame Coach Wants A Piece Of The Longhorns

​Brian Kelly is the new football coach at Notre Dame, having left his undefeated University of Cincinnati for greener pastures.We're not sold entirely on him yet, but we haven't been entirely sold on an ND coach since Ara. Kelley does have an interesting resume -- he was involved in Massachusetts ... More >>

Real Texans Hate The Longhorns

​It's an exciting time to be a Longhorn fan. If UT beats Alabama Thursday, it will mark only the second time in the team's storied history that they will be crowned college football champions while having black players on their roster.All of Texas is thrilled with the title chase, with the possibl ... More >>

Game Time: The Five Most Dominant Performances In A College Football Title Game

The time for talking is almost over, and tonight we'll find out if the shrinking spread on this season's BCS Title game and the last minute rush by some to the Texas Longhorn bandwagon is a harbinger of things to come. Me personally, I think Nick Saban dials up some exotic blitz packages that give ... More >>

Halfway To Excuseville For UT Fans

Look at the bright side, Horn fans -- your inevitable defeat now comes with a ready-made excuse. If Colt McCoy hadn't been injured, UT would have continued to receive wonderful gifts from Bama and turned them into field goals, therefore (somehow) winning the game.The UT crowd at The Tavern at Waugh ... More >>

UT Would Have Won 85-21 If Colt McCoy Had Played

How big a margin would the Horns have won by if superhuman Colt McCoy had managed to stay in the game? One can only guess. UT would probably have made Yates High look like the Marquess of Queensberry.We're guessing that's what we're going to hear from Horn fans, at any rate.UT's defense was stout; o ... More >>

Long Faces for the Longhorns

Although they ultimately couldn't stem the Crimson Tide in last night's Rose Bowl after star quarterback Colt McCoy was injured early in the first quarter, University of Texas fans were still excited early in the game at Lucky's Pub. Meanwhile over at the Fox and Hound, Alabama fans had their game f ... More >>

Game Time: Longhorns Come Away With "Rocky Balboa" Respect

​Around 10:15 PM last night, about the time the wheels started coming off the University of Texas Longhorns' run at what would have been an historical comeback, I got the following text from AT&T (verbatim, including all of the texty little abbreviations): "The AT&T All-America Player ... More >>

Game Time: We Interrupt March Madness For This Earl Thomas Interview

​By the time this post is up, March Madness will have tipped off, so I hope everyone was able to glean enough "infotainment" (a word my good friend WWE Hall of Famer, Jim Ross, loves to use) to mentally and psychologically prepare you for the next few weeks. If you missed it, you can get the Mar ... More >>

Game Time: Best-Case NFL Draft Scenario For HBO's Hard Knocks Fans

​In the end, I guess someone had to go. If you're the front office of a proud franchise like the Steelers, you can only have so many impromptu press conferences, district attorney explanations, and women screaming foul before a message needs to get sent. You're not going to move the star quarte ... More >>

Game Time: The Longhorn Network -- A Few Programming Ideas

Tonight at 8: Bevo Gone Wild​I often think how cool it must have been to have the first fast-food restaurant in a given town. You plunk down your McDonald's, start flipping about a thousand burgers an hour (quantity over quality when you're that busy), and watch the money roll in.And then Bu ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Fantasy Football For (Immature) Dummies

​Football season is almost upon us. For many people, this time of year offers renewed hope for the future, ranging from the merely possible (can the Saints repeat?) to the improbable (will the Texans makes the playoffs) to the "You gotta be fucking kidding me" (Kris Brown kicks a last-minute f ... More >>

College Football and NFL: Weekend's Best Bets (One Day Early)

Brett Favre: Readying the "elbow tendonitis" excuse?​If you're keeping score at home, it was not a pretty week for society. In no particular order, in the last seven days, the following occurred: -- Much like the self-handling of his own Johnson (and we have the pictures to prove it), Brett Favre ... More >>

Colt McCoy Appreciation Dinner: A Menu Inspired by Rachel McCoy's Call to ESPN's Colin Cowherd

​Rachel McCoy may be getting a muzzle as a wedding present from the University of Texas football program. The wife of Colt McCoy, the former Longhorns' star and current Cleveland Brown quarterback, called radio host Colin Cowherd, out of her own volition, to dish/spill the beans/insert your o ... More >>

Longhorn Network's 5 New Shows: Why No One Will Watch Them

Bevo, 24/7​The amazingly awesome Longhorn Network, which will provide all the UT anyone could ever hope for, announced five new shows today. And no one in their right mind will watch any of them. Of course, the Longhorn Network is not designed to appeal to anyone in their right mind. It's de ... More >>

Panhandling Banned at Sidewalk Cafes

Bevo, 24/7​The amazingly awesome Longhorn Network, which will provide all the UT anyone could ever hope for, announced five new shows today. And no one in their right mind will watch any of them. Of course, the Longhorn Network is not designed to appeal to anyone in their right mind. It's de ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 1 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco Torres​Yesterday was a great day. The NFL season kicked off, the Texans were at home, and the weather was an unseasonably cool 96 degrees in Houston, perfect tailgating weather if you can deal with pit stains and butt sweat. Oh, and the Texans beat the Colts in the opener for t ... More >>

Best/Worst College Football QB Transfers: A List Inspired by Former Texas Main Man Garrett Gilbert

Garrett Gilbert will either shine or warm the bench at a program not named Texas​Obviously, Garrett Gilbert is no Colt McCoy. Or Case McCoy. Or David Ash. Earlier today, the Texas Longhorns announced that Gilbert -- who filled in admirably for the injured Colt McCoy during the Longhorns' lo ... More >>

Texans/Browns -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresTough day for Colt McCoy​The Texans beat the Browns soundly yesterday by a score of 30-12, and for the first time in the history of the franchise, your hometown team is three games over .500. The Texans have never tasted this rarefied air before, so I don't really know w ... More >>