Dallas Cowboys

Pat Summerall, The Voice Of Football (1930-2013)

Every age group of sports fan has a precious few announcers whose voices serve as the collective narrator of their greatest sports memories (which as I've stated many times, for various reasons, typically take place between the halcyon ages of 16 and 28). For us 40-somethings, virtually every NFL m ... More >>

Texas Crimes of the Year, 2012

As it turns out, Texans indulged in all seven of the deadly sins.

Top 10: Most Wanted Being Arrested in Texas at Record Pace

The state of Texas has all sorts of problems. There are problems with children's health care, a lack of support for the mentally ill, low literacy rates, droughts, famine, pestilence and the Dallas Cowboys. We've got a lot going on down here. But, in one area, at least, we are kicking ass and taking ... More >>

Big Tex: We Offer Our Six Replacements, Starting With Willie Nelson

As you've no doubt heard by now -- or, if you're a Texan, felt like a great disturbance in the force -- State Fair's Big Tex burned to its frame today. The icon for generations of fairgoers was taken down by an electrical short, so at least we don't have terrorists to blame. But it's simply too m ... More >>

Clueless In Seattle: Twitter, Sportsbooks, And Obese Detroit Lions Fans Go Insane After Monday Night Football (w/ VIDEO)

The NFL's replacement referees have made plenty of egregious errors during the first three weeks of the regular season. They nearly handed the Seahawks a win in Week One by giving them an extra time out in their game with Arizona. They extended last Monday's game between the Broncos and the Falcons ... More >>

Criminals and Killers Love/Hate the Raiders, Cowboys and Sooners

During Monday's sentencing hearing for Brian Kerstetter, the 33-year-old white male who was found guilty of targeting a random African-American man at a downtown Houston bus stop, the prison-bound Kerstetter couldn't help himself from blasting a certain loved/loathed NFL franchise. "I'm not a hate ... More >>

Hate-Crime-Guilty White Supremacists -- One Who "Only Hates the Dallas Cowboys" -- Sentenced For Attacking a Black Male at a Bus Stop

The three dudes who united over their white-power tattoos and then beat down a random black male at a downtown Houston bus stop are bound for federal prison. On Monday at the downtown Houston federal courthouse, Charles Cannon, Michael McLaughlin and Brian Kerstetter were sentenced to 2-1/2 to 6-1/ ... More >>

30th Anniversary of "The Catch": 5 Other Great Catches in Sports

Sorry, Everson Walls: It's not your day.​Thirty years ago today, Dallas Cowboy haters -- in other words, every right-thinking person in the world -- rejoiced when Dwight Clark of the San Francisco 49ers made what has gone down in history as The Catch to put the dagger in the Cowboys' title hop ... More >>

Rape, Scandal, Greed and Cockfighting -- The 2011 Sports Year In Review

2011: Penn State's horrible year​You know how, in the series 24, the way a season unfolds? How just when you think there has been some sort of resolution to the bad guys being bottled up, right then and there a new (often worse) layer is introduced, and ultimately in like Hour 22 Jack Bauer wi ... More >>

Texans/Falcons & The NFL Weekend -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photos by Marco TorresHopes are rising at Reliant​This time last season, in the aftermath of a Week 13 Michael Vick-administered beatdown on a Thursday night in Philadelphia, the Texans began preparation for a Week 14 Monday night game with the Baltimore Ravens in Houston. We all know how tha ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 2 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (And A Jennifer Lopez Appearance)

2-0! (again)​I hope everyone had a good weekend of football. I was two plays away from going 6-0 on my picks, my alma mater finally won a game and the Texans are 2-0! On the flip side, college realignment struck a blow in my home part of the country, as the Big East that I grew up with essen ... More >>

Houston Texans 2011 Preview: The Jinx Is Back, Baby

​Stop me if you've heard this before -- I am very optimistic about the Houston Texans' upcoming season. I know, I know. Crazy, huh? Last year, in this very space, I called for a 10-6 season in 2010 (a logical if not glacially moving projection considering the three previous seasons went 8-8, ... More >>

Mr. Boomtown Coats Bun B, E-40 With "Candy Paint"

Marco TorresE-40 on the set of "Candy Paint"​(phone rings) "What's up, this is Boom... Sure, I can do Boston... It's gonna cost ya." (click) The acclaimed music-video director and filmmaker Nahala Johnson, better known as Mr. Boomtown, sits inside of a Midtown bar one night last week, drink ... More >>

2011 NFL Draft -- Live Blog

I am not an NFL Draft expert. How's that for unbridled confidence? Right out of the shoot, in a live blog for the NFL Draft, a host of a sports talk show is admitting that he's not an expert at something sports related, let alone the thing at which he's about to live blog. If you're looking for l ... More >>

Weed: The Top Ten Texas Stoners of All Time

Matthew McConaughey possibly has experimented​The 82nd session of the august Texas Legislature will no doubt end as all the others have, without decriminalizing marijuana even for medical use. (We're just going out on a limb here with this prediction.) More and more states seem to be getting ... More >>

25 Super Bowl Pregame Observations

Brooklyn Decker, Super Bowl media correspondent​The weather outside might suck really, really bad right now. But it's time to be reminded that more important things are going on this week. It's Super Bowl week, and we're lucky to have the NFL visiting the Metroplex which, on Sunday, at Jerry ... More >>

"Don't Mess With Texas" Ads & Athletes: Mixed Success, in Five Examples

You may have noticed that TxDOT has been re-running classic ads from their 25-year-old "Don't Mess with Texas" campaign. It's part of a contest to pick the best. The ads tend to work best with musicians; Stevie Ray Vaughan is the classic, of course, but Willie Nelson and George Strait also shine. ... More >>

Comment Of The Day: We Finally Learn What Our Jobs Are

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Houston Texans -- Home For Wayward NFL Coaches?

Note: Google Images auto-fills a Wade Phillips search to "Wade Phillips confused"​When the final gun sounds on Sunday after the Texans game with the Jacksonville Jaguars, and the home team is either 5-11 or 6-10, change is coming for the Texans. At the very least, you'd have to think that Fra ... More >>

NFL -- Bob McNair's Delusion, Twitter Madness And The Weekend's Best Bets

Orange slices for the Texans!​"I wanted the team to know not only how close we think they are but how close our competitors think they are to being an outstanding team." -- Texans owner Bob McNair, presumably not being held at gunpoint nor under the influence of any drugs or alcohol What Bob ... More >>

Chef Chat, Part 1: Adam West of Monarch

​Eating Our Words recently sat down with Adam West, the newly appointed chef of the Monarch at Hotel ZaZa, on a gorgeous afternoon to talk about his culinary background and how it feels to cook for sitcom stars. Eating Our Words: Hi Adam. We hear that you have only been in Houston for a short ... More >>

Happy Hour Scene: Phil's Texas Barbecue

​The Place: Phil's Texas Barbecue110 S. Heights Blvd.713-862-8600www.philstxbbq.comThe Hours: Seven days a week, 4-7 p.m.The Deals: Domestics are $2.50, well drinks are $2.25. There are also nightly specials, which the bartender chooses. Wednesday night, for example, featured $10 buckets of be ... More >>

Sara Saco-Vertiz: Astros' "Foul Ball Girl" Gets Arrested For Drinking & Lack Of Hockey Knowledge

Not from Buffalo​Sara Saco-Vertiz had her moment of internet fame this summer when the guy she was attending an Astros game with ducked out of the way of a foul ball that hit her.The couple went on a national TV show, they engaged in an unseemly squabble on Facebook, they moved on. As did the nati ... More >>

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Photo by Chasen MarshallTailgating done right, but not "Best of"-worthy.​"Yo man, why you wearing that Tony 'Homo' jersey?"Texans fans were confident and cocky around the mish-mash of cars, RVs, tents and debauchery that was Tailgate City yesterday morning, outside Reliant Stadium.Riding high on i ... More >>

Game Time: NFL 2010 -- A Journey In Wagering

Betting is fun! If you don't mind losing​The first week of the NFL season is always one of the busiest for me. I've never been an accountant, nor will I ever be an accountant, but I would imagine that the first week of college and NFL football together is how the week of April 15 feels for someon ... More >>

Our Year

Will Texans make it to playoffs?

Cougar Football Opens With High Hopes For The...Defense?

Case Keenum, your Heisman Trophy is waiting​The Houston Cougars got their 2010 football season underway on Friday, meeting for photos and their first practice while the team held its annual media day. \ Despite a successful 2009 season, the Cougars come into this season wanting to forget las ... More >>

Five Things In Sports More Annoying Than Those Vuvuzelas

Photo by pempempie​Folks, it's time to shut up about those stupid African trumpets already: The constant drone of cheap and tuneless plastic horns is killing the atmosphere at the World Cup. Where are loud choruses of "Oooohhhs" from enthralled crowds when a shot scorches just wide of the go ... More >>

Game Time: If You Like The Texans Pick Of Kareem Jackson at #20 GIMME A HELL YEAH...Hey, Who Let All These Crickets In Here?

​I would have to say the NFL's taking the first round of its draft and transforming it from hardcore niche sporting event on Saturday afternoons to Must-See TV Thursday night melodrama was a success in its first year. We got plenty of shaking and moving (seven draft night trades involving firs ... More >>

Lonesome Onry and Mean: We Are Not Ready for Christmas Music in October... or Ever, Really

​Let the Madness begin. No, not March Madness, nincompoop - it's October. Christmas Madness. Lonesome Onry and Mean doesn't know who officially decides these things, all we know is that it's the first week of October, Halloween hasn't even come and gone yet, but in the past 24 hours we've received ... More >>

No More Bull

The past, present and future of the Texans breaking our hearts

George Strait

Some Praise For the Houston Texans (No, Really!)

Photo by William Holtkamp Many of you out there probably think that I hate the Texans. But I don't. I just hold them to a high standard. A standard that I think everybody should apply to them. That said, I'm not here to criticize the Houston Texans today. No, I'm actually about to say some nice ... More >>

Some Praise For the Houston Texans (No, Really!)

Photo by William Holtkamp Many of you out there probably think that I hate the Texans. But I don't. I just hold them to a high standard. A standard that I think everybody should apply to them. That said, I'm not here to criticize the Houston Texans today. No, I'm actually about to say some nice ... More >>

Thin Steak and Samuel P. Huntington

Get Your Shrine On

For the second consecutive year the Shriners are bringing their postseason college football all-star game to the University of Houston's Robertson Stadium. The 84th edition of the East-West Shrine Game will be played on Saturday, January 17, 2009, with the kick-off set for 3:00 and the game to be t ... More >>

Wednesday Morning Quarterbacking: Special Post-Amsterdam Edition

So I was in Amsterdam for the weekend – working on those frequent flyer miles – and I missed the Texans’ 33-27 loss to the Indianapolis Colts. However, the BBC World Service did manage to show highlights from the Titans/Jaguars game. After the game, Gary Kubiak went with the “we had a ... More >>

ACL Notebook Dump, Pt. 2: Measuring Time Mars Volta-Style, Led Zeppelin Rumors and More

John Royal's NFL Power Rankings

NFL Review, Week Two: Another Call for the Texans to Play in the Dome

Hope for the Houston Texans?

Gary Kubiak and team search for their first winning season

Houston Sports Movies: The Top Five

ASK A MEXICAN

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 12: Lions, Turducken and Bears...

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week Ten: Georgia (the Country, Not the State) Loves the Texans

Here We Go Again

It's football time (cringe)

No Pain, No Gain

Our solution for saving Texas's claim to capital punishment fame

Best Radio Commentary

Dean Becker, "420 Drug War News"

Night & Day

May 28 - June 3, 1998

Fourth and Long

Dreams of Glory Die Hard in Semipro football