Dallas Cowboys

Early Betting Lines On NFL Weeks 1 Through 16

It's always good to get in on something at the beginning, at the ground floor. In the world of sports wagering, for bettors equally long on hubris and illness (gambling is a sickness, my friends), some betting outlets realize that no time is too soon to put out lines on NFL games. The draft just en ... More >>

Ex-NFLer Scott Turner, Now A State Rep, Wants Tougher Penalities For First-Time DWI Offenders

New Rep. Scott Turner, R-Rockwall, lent a certain amount of star power to a bill Rep. Bill Callegari, R-Katy, continues to push each session: mandatory interlock devices for first-time driving while intoxicated offenders. Turner, who played nine years as a defensive back in the National Football Le ... More >>

Joe Flacco Has A New Contract: Next Big Thing Or Next Cautionary Tale?

On December 16, the Baltimore Ravens lost their third game in a row, 34-17 to the Denver Broncos in Baltimore to drop to 9-5 on the season and virtually clinch a relatively ho-hum four seed in the AFC. On that day, their starting quarterback, Joe Flacco, completed 20 passes on 40 attempts for 254 l ... More >>

Desmond Bryant's Mugshot Ends The "Best NFL Mugshot Ever" Debate

The Super Bowl is a few weeks into the rear view mirror now, OTA's are a few months away, so for NFL players we are in the first "Crime Season" of the NFL calendar. Crime Season occurs in dormant weeks and months where undisciplined players really don't have anything to do except get into trouble wi ... More >>

Infamous Last Words: Some of the Strangest Final Utterances from Death Row

"Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel." Those were the last words of one George Appel, a cop-killer electrocuted by the state of New York back in 1928, and it might just be the greatest such utterance of all time. Not that Appel hasn't had some competition over the years. At his 196 ... More >>

Texans Bye Week Twitter Fun: The Implosion Of Tony Romo (w/ MANY Tweets)

"I don't understand Tony Romo being called the most overrated player in the NFL. If anything, he's the most underrated player in the NFL." -- Troy Aikman during Sunday's telecast of Cowboys-Giants I'm not sure what's crazier, that Troy Aikman gets paid several hundreds of thousands of dollars for i ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, "Roger Goodell Is Better Than FEMA" Edition

So how bad was the controversial ending of Monday night's Seahawks-Packers game for the NFL? Well, consider that the story got coverage on every major national news show Tuesday morning, was the subject of a David Letterman Top 10 list, and prompted President Obama to comment publicly on the topic ... More >>

Dez Bryant's Mom Calls 9-1-1, Vows, "I'm Going to Put an End to It Today!" (w/ AUDIO)

"I think that Dez has a chance to make the kind of impact of people that have worn this jersey before." -- Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in 2010 after bestowing the #88 jersey on wide receiver Dez Bryant Cocaine possession. Drug paraphernalia. Various mysterious brushes with assault charges through th ... More >>

UH Hires Developers for New $105 Million Football Stadium

Look at the University of Houston, acting all grown up and everything. They are so cute at that age. UH, long suffering in grand old Robertson Stadium, particularly in recent years when the football team has been, you know, actually good, finally is moving forward on a much ballyhooed stadium plan ... More >>

Forecasting the NFL Head Coach Guillotine

Your time here is done.​They call it "Black Monday." It's the day after the NFL regular season ends, when any still-employed head coach whose name has been remotely associated with the words "hot" and "seat" tiptoes cautiously into his office and hopes that there's not a box on his desk to pa ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 1 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco Torres​Yesterday was a great day. The NFL season kicked off, the Texans were at home, and the weather was an unseasonably cool 96 degrees in Houston, perfect tailgating weather if you can deal with pit stains and butt sweat. Oh, and the Texans beat the Colts in the opener for t ... More >>

2011 NFL Preview, Spoken In Wagering-ese

The betting window is open​I hope everyone who has had a chance to check out our Texans 2011 preview "The New Normal" has enjoyed it. Big ups to Monica Fuentes for coming up with the season-long interactive game card tracking Texans' results. You need to go check it out. If you haven't read ... More >>

Food Fight: Store Brand Pretzels

Photos by Matthew DresdenStore brand pretzels from Whole Foods (left) and Trader Joe's (right)​As my friend Sara Dickerman wrote in 2007 in a fascinating piece in Slate, pretzels don't get much love in the snack-food world. When was the last time you saw a television commercial for pretzels? D ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Twilight vs. Harry Potter And 9 Other Geek Throwdowns

Still the only crossover I'd pay to see.​Anyone watch the MTV Movie Awards? Anyone? I didn't think so, mostly because I suspect the majority of Hair Balls/Art Attack readers are over the age of 12. And while I have no intention of revisiting the whole "'Music?"Television line of jokes, I did ... More >>

For The Final Four: 9 Musicians Who Love College Sports

​After weeks of anticipation and preemptory hand-wringing over where we're going to park on Washington Ave. this weekend, the Final Four is Finally here. As with any other time a marquee sporting event comes to Houston, you can count on some familiar themes in media coverage: Where to party, w ... More >>

Super Bowl: Welcome to JerryWorld

Big Tex, in all his Jerry glory​The Metroplex powers-that-be are cursing the weather gods right now -- Lord knows they'd never curse the man they think is the actual God -- over the terrible conditions hitting town for Super Bowl week. And we're not just talking Steeler fans!! Ba-dum-bump. T ... More >>

Confused Wade Phillips Is Confused

Something occurred to me the other day as I was reading the sports ticker announcing that our own Houston Texans were hiring Wade Phillips as the new defensive coordinator and, in fact, keeping Gary Kubiak as head coach, in the face of a wave of anti-Kubiak gnashing of teeth. Have you ever had a f ... More >>

Four Lessons Bob McNair Can Learn From Jerry Jones

Hang with Vegas skanks, McNair, not former presidents​The week started with my begging Texans owner Bob McNair. It continued with my criticizing him. But I hate being that guy. You know the guy I'm talking about -- the guy who is constantly pointing out the flaws in others and the shortcomi ... More >>

College Football and NFL: Weekend's Best Bets (One Day Early)

Brett Favre: Readying the "elbow tendonitis" excuse?​If you're keeping score at home, it was not a pretty week for society. In no particular order, in the last seven days, the following occurred: -- Much like the self-handling of his own Johnson (and we have the pictures to prove it), Brett Favre ... More >>

College Football and NFL: This Weekend's Best Bets (And a Promise From Me)

You can't lose, except when you lose​I'm coming up on almost one year now writing a daily post on Hair Balls for HoustonPress.com. In that time, I've written tens of thousands of words about topics like the Summer of LeBron, the Brian Cushing saga, the Houston Texans, and the death of Jose Lima. ... More >>

Cowboys 27, Texans 13: Defensive Help Wanted, Preferably With A Pulse

Docking at Reliant Stadium​Attention, Houston owner Bob McNair. Your defense needs help, and the key may be opening your pocketbook. Ideally, do it in a hurry.Tony Romo and the Cowboys (1-2) exposed the previously unbeaten Texans' dirty little secret on Sunday, throwing for 284 yards, two touchdow ... More >>

Dallas Cowboys: America's Most Popular Team, To America's Discredit

Dallas Cowboys: America has no taste​The Neilsen Company, the people who give you TV ratings, have done an extensive study on how popular various NFL teams are.According to the Wall Street Journal, the study examined "each team's local and national TV rankings, how often they're mentioned on the I ... More >>

Rick Perry Chides Redskins Fans, And Is Actually Kind Of Funny Doing So

Rick Perry mocks you, effectively​Governor Rick Perry has never exactly come across as someone with a good sense of humor, unless you like tired jabs involving things like "hot air" and "Washington."But either he's gotten funnier or (more likely) his staff has stepped up. Because Perry has issued ... More >>

Texans 23, Cowboys 7: Does Houston Finally Have An Offensive Line

Arian Foster may actually have holes to run through​Over the course of their brief existence, the Texans and offensive line woes have been synonymous. Could it now be that the long-standing source of franchise ridicule has become a foundation of strength?In recent years, savvy draft picks like ta ... More >>

Man U Fans Hate Houston (Or Maybe Just Us)

Take you stupidly shaped football and go home, Americans!​The MLS All-Star Game is only a day away, where the league's best will take on Manchester United, who are the New York Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys, the Notre Dame of soccer: You either love them or hate them.We decided to hate them, just be ... More >>

Will Bob McNair Kill The 2011 NFL Season?

Bob McNair & Jerry Jones may torpedo the 2011 season​As some NFL fans know, the possibility is growing that there will not be a NFL season in 2011. The reason of course is that there is currently no agreed-upon Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the players, and while they're ... More >>

Game Time: Jerry Jones' Drunken Tebow Analysis -- Why I'm Conflicted

"Bill's not worth a shit, I love him....not worth a shit, but I wanted...they were on my ass so bad. They said J's gotta have a 'Yes Man,' so to get this fucking stadium, I need to bring his ass in." -- Jerry Jones, Owner, Dallas CowboysI'm about to vent a little bit and be part of the problem I'm ... More >>

For Opening Day: The Worst Pregame Renditions Of The National Anthem Ever

What so proudly we hailed... Can you pass the earplugs, please?​ You can be forgiven for not realizing Opening Day for baseball season was here already (yesterday, in fact). Maybe you've been too busy cursing the guy in your NCAA tournament pool that filled out his brackets using the coin-flip met ... More >>

Game Time: The Horrible Turn Of The Texans' Owen Daniels

​(I want you all to watch in amazement while I introduce you to the literary technique known as the "shplegue". This stands for "shameless plug that turns into a segue." Watch and learn...)I'm not sure how many of you have seen the web-based tragicomedy Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, but this co ... More >>

Battle Of The Sportswriters: Oh, It's Already Been Broughten

We noted a while back that Texas Monthly writer Gary Cartwright had written a stinging take on today's Texas sportswriters, saying they weren't as talented or wacky as him and his old gang of Blackie Sherrod, Dan Jenkins, Bud Shrake and Mickey Herskowitz were.He particularly pointed out two Austin A ... More >>

The Mt. Rushmore of Texas Sports

ESPN is about to start on one of those stupid SportsCenter promotion things that has helped to make SportsCenter virtually impossible to watch. But over here at Ballz, we like stupid things - I'm sure that many of you think anything I write is stupid and virtually impossible to read anyway. So I' ... More >>

The Mt. Rushmore of Texas Sports

ESPN is about to start on one of those stupid SportsCenter promotion things that has helped to make SportsCenter virtually impossible to watch. But over here at Ballz, we like stupid things - I'm sure that many of you think anything I write is stupid and virtually impossible to read anyway. So I' ... More >>

Houston Gets Another Final Four

They're holding the press conference right now to announce that Houston is getting another Final Four. In 2016. That's a long way away, but you take what you can get. But Dallas, of all places, will get one before us. The plan is to play in Jerry Jones' billion-dollar Cowboys stadium in 2014. ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Mike Singletary Gives the Weekend's Best Performance

Ten Performers Besides Bruce Springsteen Who Were Considered for the Super Bowl

Random Thoughts from a Stupendous Sunday of Sports

Over the Weekend: Football, Golden Globes and Bar Hopping

John Royal's Postseason NFL Picks: Jessica Simpson Edition

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week 17: Betting Against the Texans for the Last Time (Till Next Year)

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week 13: Rushing More Than Ricky Williams

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Four: Betting on the Houston Texans. What? Why Are You Surprised?

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Three: Colts, Chargers and Greeks

John Royal's NFL Picks: Week Two

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks: Week Two

2007 NFL Preview, Take Two

From Britney to U2: The 2007 NFL Preview

Hard Out Here for a Flack

Invincible

Feel-good football tale scores with charm and sincerity

Best Cheerleading Squad

All That Glitters

He was arrested, but he wasn't that Golden Richards