We all thought Sarah Palin would be focused on seizing the White House, but this week she announced that she is seizing the internet. Carpe diem! Or something. Yep, the lovable former Alaska governor and infamous vice presidential candidate is offering herself up to the world via the Internet. You ... More >>
Of all the sports "things" that are set to debut this fall (a list which includes Jadeveon Clowney, the SEC Network, and A.J. McCarron trying to shoo his Bengal teammates away from his wife), perhaps the one I'm most excited about is Dan Patrick's new Sports Jeopardy show, which is set to debut on C ... More >>
Is it one of the worst political ads of all time or one of the worst? Is it even real? These were the thoughts we were wrestling with as we took in a minute-long commercial featuring a Dan Patrick animated picture singing about how he changed his name from Danny Goeb. The ad alleges -- erroneously, ... More >>
Leticia Van de Putte's experience and what she represents makes her more viable than either of her opponents.
State Sen. Dan Patrick wants to be Lieutenant Governor, and he's boiled it down to a very simple message in his latest campaign ad. "If Sam Houston, Travis, Bowie and Austin were here today, they'd be proud of Texas, but they'd be ashamed of Washington," Patrick says in voice over, while a photo of ... More >>
Houston's own State Sen. Dan Patrick has let it be known that he is, of course, against abortion in all forms, but it turns out the good senator -- who is taking a run at being becoming Texas lieutenant governor -- held stock in the company that makes Plan B, the "morning after" pill, one of the man ... More >>
There's a saying, often attributed to novelist Sinclair Lewis, that can sum certain strains on the American right: "When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and waving a cross." And while the phrase always comes across as a bit screechy -- we've spent 237 years swearing in on a B ... More >>
Nobody pretended they were going to enjoy the race for the lieutenant governor's chair. Sure, there would be moments of delightful schadenfreude -- watching Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst squirm and crumble in the face of Wendy Davis's supporters was one of the most rewarding of the entire month. But those ... More >>
Dan Patrick seems to have no issue with verbal altercation. The state senator, representing parts of northwest Houston, has gained quick notoriety for transferring his acidic on-air personality to the halls of Austin. He's offered crocodile tears for the students he purports to support. He's castiga ... More >>
Months after becoming one of the favored bogeymen among certain right-wing circles, it appears CSCOPE, as a lesson framework used in nearly 900 school districts around the state, is no more. State Sen. Dan Patrick held a press conference Monday morning announcing that he had received a letter from t ... More >>
Rick Perry has adopted a more behind-the-scenes approach this time around. That doesn't mean he hasn't been busy.
If any state has set the lowest bar in recent years in regards to racial and ethnic relations, Arizona may stake the best case. Between the Minutemen patrolling the southern border and the manic let-God-sort-'em-out attitude of Sheriff Joe Arpaio, amongst the increased hardening of Sen. John McCain ... More >>
Having fought his battles in Louisiana, the Rice University student is now ready for Texas and any move to put faux science in the public schools here.
After a comprehensive, scathing report detailing the implementation of Bible-as-literature courses within Texas' public school systems -- nothing like looking to Noah's sons to figure out which race you belong to! -- it's perhaps not the best time to revisit the latest steps in Texas' long slog towa ... More >>
New Chair Dan Patrick is making his mark on the Senate Education Committee early, putting his goals for school choice front and center on his agenda. The clamor over school choice will likely drown out many of Patrick's other goals for the session: expanding career and technology courses; dropping ... More >>
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>
When Republican state senators attack!!!! (Things get extremely passive-aggressive.) Texas state senators Dan Patrick, Tomball's Own, and Dallas's John Carona got in a nasty e-mail fight first discovered by the Quorum Report. QR is behind a paywall, but some subscribers have posted highlights of t ... More >>
Dan Patrick inches closer to US Senate raceTomball's favorite state senator, Dan Patrick (R-Tea Party), has weighed in on the polling landscape for his possible run for the United States Senate. And he likes what he sees. Patrick says the recent Texas Lyceum poll (the one that showed Presid ... More >>
Time to fight back
God is on line two, with a campaign contribution.If you take as a given -- which you should -- that it's going to be awhile before a moderate ever gets elected to the U.S. Senate from Texas, then you want your troglodyte senatorial candidates to be as entertainingly fringe as possible. So lo ... More >>
Dan Patrick has reason to smile; women, not so much.Any woman seeking an abortion in Texas will be forced to undergo a sonogram and be asked if they want to view it or listen to the fetal heartbeat, thanks to a bill that passed today and that Governor Rick Perry says he can't wait to sign. P ... More >>
Holier than thou, person stuck behind me in trafficState Senator Dan Patrick is proudly reporting that the Texas Senate has passed by a 21-10 vote his bill creating license plates that say "Choose Life," thereby, we guess, breaking off the crippling shackles of all those Texans who have been ... More >>
God speaks through Dan PatrickSaying it was "God's time" to get the bill passed, State Senator Dan Patrick succeeded today in getting approval for Texas women to be forced to view a sonogram, and to hear whether the fetus has arms or legs, two hours before getting an abortion. During the deb ... More >>
It's The AUSTIN Tea Party now, Sam AdamsLast night Keith Olbermann said Texas had "a Tea Party legislature The Nuge could be proud of." Today State Senator Dan Patrick proved him right. Patrick announced his Tea Party Caucus today, and it contains fully 47 members of the 150-seat House, and ... More >>
Dan Patrick: FINALLY the Tea Party will be heard in TexasRight-wing radio guru Dan Patrick has announced the creation of a Tea Party Caucusfor the upcoming Texas legislative session.And no, "Tea Party Caucus" is not necessarily a synonym for "Texas Legislature," at least not yet."The Tea Party ha ... More >>
The national political website Wonkette has got ahold of the story of Dan Patrick's new independent-ish party. And the commenters are sparing little in roasting our favorite state senator.There's lots of stuff about Texans, conservatives, etc. -- Wonkette is not generally a tea-partyin' place -- ... More >>
Dan Patrick, the former wacky sportscaster, sports-bar owner, current talk-radio czar and state senator, is adding another title to his portfolio: Founder of a movement.Today Patrick is announcing the creation of the Independent Conservative Republicans of Texas, a group that will, we guess, ... More >>
By the slimmest of margins, America was spared the unthinkable horror of seeing a (*shudder*) mid-major team contend for a national championship last Saturday. And if you don't think there were some urgent calls made from the executive office of the BCS to the replay booth in Jerry's World (Cowbo ... More >>
So we're watching the ALCS last night, a couple of days after watching Sunday Night Football on NBC, and it just gets to be too much.We've had this feeling for a while, but now there's just no getting away from it.Since when has it been such a goddamn favor for announcers to deign to bring themse ... More >>
State Senator Dan Patrick, whose website proudly notes that his first legislative act was to have the words "In God We Trust" put up over the Senate floor, probably should offer an amendment saying "We also trust hookers, too."That is absolutely the only lesson that can be taken from the story of Se ... More >>
Just in time for the 25th anniversary of the landmark Texas House Bill 72, Senator Dan Patrick has pre-filed a bill to amend it in several ways -- no, he's not touching No Pass, No Play -- but he is fiddling with the cap in place on the number of kids that schools can cram into their K-4th grade cla ... More >>
Dan Patrick -- hyperbolic talk-show host, slightly unhinged state senator -- has joined the Twitter world.Normally, that wouldn't be too exciting, as his Twitter page proves ("Getting ready for the 81st Texas Legislature session").But the decision gave his compadres at Lone Star Times the chance to ... More >>
Novice Texas Sen. Dan Patrick, R-Houston, was the show again today in Austin as he argued successfully to a Senate committee that any woman seeking an abortion would have to have an ultrasound first. Physicians would be required to perform the test and review the results with the pregnant patient. ... More >>
Randall Kallinen is running in a *very* Republican district. No prob for the prez of Houston's ACLU chapter, right? My folks live in the 'burbs, and since I never seem to stay anywhere long enough to bother changing my voter registration, that means I'm part of the Fighting 478th, deep in the hear ... More >>
A cop learns the pain of piercing
A hot historic painting gets a cool Crawl reception
Sweeps month brings startling news: strippers!
Local conservative talk radio lives to rant again
Councilman Chris tests the waters against Brown
Secrets of talk radio revealed
At Dan Patrick's KPRC talk-radio station, it's politics with a capital G
If Lanier aide Dave Walden isn't running the Prop One campaign, who is?
Why? Because without it, the stadium promises fall apart.
Dan's the man behind a new anti-crime group